2 Quick 'uns

rocky25

There were three babies in a woman’s womb,

and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.

The first one said "I wanna be a plumber."

The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber.

He replied,

"So I can fix the pipes in here, it’s kinda leaky."

The second one said "I wanna be an electrician."

The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why.

The second baby answered,

"so I can get some lights in here, its dark!"

The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer."

The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes,

before asking, "Why in God’s name do you want to be a boxer?"

He replied, "So," he said proudly,



"I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says,

"Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,

and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,

"So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.

We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,

and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer?

That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff,and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,



"Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

The Bollox

nice I love the last one

Steve_o

heheh, second one is a jem!:D

dreamr

the pearly gates one reminded me of one i heard last night:
3 men are deep in the jungle in south america, when they get captured by the local tribe. the chief tribesman tells them that they are in fact cannibals, and he will give each of them one chance not to be eaten. but first the men must go into the jungle and each get ten of the same fruit. so off they go.
when the first man comes back, he has 10 kiwis. the cheif tribesman says to him, " if you can fit all ten up your bum, we'll let you go, if no its into the pot with you" so he has a try, and he's going ok til bout kiwi number 4, then things start to get messy. he cant finish the task so they throw him into the pot.
the second guy comes along and has 10 grapes, and he does brilliantly until he's on number 10 grape, and he starts laughing uncontrolably, loses the plot, and out plops all the grapes, and the tribe cheer, and throw him into the pot.
when he reaches the pearly gates, St Peter and the first man are confused, they ask him "what happened? you were so close to being free, only one grape to go!!"
the man replys, " the other guy had ten pineapples"

kmart6

Lol

Brilliant rocky and dreamr!!!