Brother with mental illness.

cards

I am so tired of thinking about this issue that it drains me to try and recount it here again so forgive me if its brief..
Normal brother(33) up to 2 years ago.Then friends approached me said he is having delusions etc.. couldn't believe it. Then realized he was. Very closed ,guarded person. no way would get help.lost job.flat.finances until had to move home.still refused help.finally delusions became so bad he agreed to go to psychiatric ward on doctors recomendation.
Made involuntary as wanted to leave. headstrong stubborn.in there 12 weeks now.no improvement.VERY POOR TREATMENT OF PATIENTS.DOPE THEM UP.no counseling.no excerise.etc..
new psychitrist took over his case 3 days ago and wants to release him tommorrow. THIS IS JUST UNBELIVABLE.MAJOR HEALTH DELUSIONS STILL GOING ON.thinking hes going to die etc..
brought him out to stay for saturday night and wouldn't even go out in the back lawn and his psychiatrist wants to release him. I don't want him in there as I can't see them helping him.already tried 3 types of meds and next one has potential sideffects that can cause bone marrow problems,twitching in the face etc.. but where is his supposed to live if he comes out, with his 63 year old mother who can't cope or in my one bed flat?what a **** life this is.someone please give me hope or tell me something to keep me strong.

eveie

im realy sorry to hear about your problems.
i would get in contact with the health board get him the help he needs. anti depressiants only cover up the problem they do not deal with it, talk to some counselling agencys and they'l point you in the right direction. it must be so tough on you but they is help there you just have to push for it

Riesen_Meal

I know this must be really hard for you at the moment but please try and keep strong, it is not the end of the world at the moment even though it probably seems it to you, mental illness can come suddenly into peoples lives when they least expect it and the important thing is that you remain supportive of your brother, he is still your brother at the end of the day and give him all the help you can possible, it probably will take trying lots of different meds to find ones suitable for his condition, as every case is different I cant comment, but chin up me dear, let the experts try and do their thing and see how it pans out, I know at the mo it seems hard to take but things will get easier!

Hope it works out,

Dave

MsFifers

Have you had any contact with Grow, the mental health charity? I know they have local support groups - it might be somewhere to start to get some support.
http://www.grow.ie/

Or schizophrenia ireland may be able to provide some info on support available?
http://www.sirl.ie/support.php

Will your brother get some outpatient support? ie visits from psych. nurses etc?

Have your family had much direct contact with the psychiatrist? The sad thing in Ireland is that sometimes you just have to shout and make a nuisance of yourself. If you are really afraid for your brother's safety - kick up a stink and insist on speaking with the doctor directly. Put it in a letter that you are afraid for your brother's safety. Health professionals are so afraid of being sued these days - the more you put in writing the better.

Good luck. I know you must be v. worried now.

cards

Thw whole system is SHOCKING. The psychiatrist hasn't returned calls for over a week. A nurse has done the same to me after very much agreeing with me that he was nowhere near ready to be released.Outpatient services are a joke.I'm not making this up. only 10% of patients get to see a psychiatrist because lack of funding.meals and lots of activites have also been done away with at the day care centre recently.

MsFifers

Thats a disgrace cards. I feel for your family now. I have had some relations and friends in your situation and I understand the stress you are all under.

the only thing I can say is, despite it all, my relatives and friends did get through it all and are on the other side now, healthy again, apart from the odd spell. Ye'll get there.

madser

My heart goes out to you, the treatment of mental health in this country is appauling, I'm so sorry I have no advice for you but to try and keep strong and good luck to you.

cards

Cheers for the kind comments and wishes. I appreciate them.(and I am going to stay strong,somehow )

LegacyUser

Insist on talking to the Social Worker. Every Psychiatric team should have one. Are you down the country or in Dublin? Is it a private hospital or a public one? (The public ones tend to have better follow up facilities - supported housing/hostals, day hospitals, day centres etc) The priviate ones tend to kick you out once you run out of insurance.

You are also entitled to ask for a second opinion by another Consultant Psychiatrist - don't mind any tantrums they throw you have a right to it.

Also kick up stink with your TD.

Agonist

eveie wrote: »

i would get in contact with the health board get him the help he needs. anti depressiants only cover up the problem they do not deal with it, talk to some counselling agencys and they'l point you in the right direction.

I just have to point out that this is misinformed. Firstly, the OP didn't say that the brother is on ADs, secondly, ADs don't mask the problem, they ease the pain to make it possible to deal with any problems that might be there. Seriously mental illness like the OP's brother is generally biological and may not be caused by 'issues'.
Counselling is this case would not be helpful, could cause extra stress and is not indicated when the patient is floridly delusional.

MsFifers wrote: »

http://www.grow.ie/

http://www.sirl.ie/support.php

Put it in a letter that you are afraid for your brother's safety. Health professionals are so afraid of being sued these days - the more you put in writing the better.

GROW is a wonderful organisation. Schizophrenia Ireland is even better for someone like the OPs brother.
They can only help the situation. Putting complaints in writing is a great idea and helps to get the health professional to get off their arses and do something useful.
However, since the Mental Health Commission made some changes to the laws on involuntary admissions the mental health professionals are much more worried about being sued for treating the patient than for not treating them.

Everybody who's affected by mental illness themselves or through a member of their family should lobby the government to end the disgraceful lack of funding available for mental illness.

Victor

Cards, its obviously only a start, but talk to your local community welfare officer, who might be able to help on the financial side.

Whereabouts are you and your brother based? There are likely to be some out-patient courses available.

hunter164

Same thing happened to my Uncle though it was kind of alcohol induced.Fell off his bike one night drunk and hit his head.Lost his short term memory and then started beginning to think everyone was after him.Went to the mental hospital on Richmond Road.All they did was give him medication.Let him out even though he was clearly unfit to leave there. Ended up not taking his medication and his condition got worse. One day he tried to OD but the doctors found him quick enough.He only felt safe when he was in our house and we would let him sleep here.He also used to sleep in Dollymount,even though he had a lovely flat.In the end things got too much for him and he hung himself.

I know this is an extreme case but it highlights the incompency of the mental hospitals in Ireland.

jmauel

Cards I really feel for you, My family went through exact same situation a few years ago with my brother first then my mother ( both schizophrenia). Its the most horrific illness as the person suffering has no idea anything is wrong with them, which makes it nearly impossible to convince them to accept treatment. My mother was hospitalised for months at her own request as she would not stay in the family home, her particular delusion was that my father was out to get her, kill her etc. I know you are frustrated at the care he has been getting right now but it can take a while for the doctors to find the right medication for each person. Believe me i know this, i thought my mother would never have any chance of a normal life again but believe it or not they are both doing very well now. Keep hangin in there and look after your own health, express all your thoughts. Its as hard for family members of people suffering from mental illness as those directly affected.
I wish you and your family hope. x

estar

firstly

im sorry for your troubles.

for a strong person to slowly lose touch with reality is a very
scary experience. your brother obviously didnt want to face up to it. maybe he didnt fully realise what was happening. a flat is just a flat. money is just money. the most important thing is that your brother remains safe and is in the hands of trusted professionals. if you dont trust in the professional you are dealing with ask for a second opinion.

i totally agree that those that are really mentally ill and going through the worst part of delusions and paranoia are over medicated and don't get proper
counselling unless they have money.

however, if your brother needs to be calmed down while you all adjust
to his new situation, then medication may be needed. and while he gets his head around his illness and you do as well, i personally would leave him
short term where he is safe. even if its inappropriate.

counselling doesnt work when someone is really out of it. when the medication kicks in, then perhaps it will. many people discharged stop taking their medication so he needs some time to adjust.

talk to the psychiatrist again. ask them for some time to research realistic options for him.

i hear there is a really good centre in tallaght with great professionals. do some research

i personally have known a few people that have recovered - dont rush him out of the hospital. hes been sick for a while. having a rest in hospital with medication may be good for a while.

cards

Thanks for all the comments and advice.There are some amazing people on these boards. He now gets discharged friday. The psychiatrist (finally!) returned my mother's calls today and wants him to get back into life before he gets institutionlized which is a very fair point but if he can't even stay in the house by himself where is it going? My grievance is that he's nearly as bad as when he was admitted and know that the psychiatrist that has just gone on holiday had no intention of discharging him.He's agreeing to take his medication though and I'm going to have to help him get some kind of excerise routine going.I find it so hard to spend time with him when he's miserable though.It seems pointless but I've had many instances of very positive things happening in my life after all hope had gone.So,I'm holding onto that....

Victor

cards wrote: »

My grievance is that he's nearly as bad as when he was admitted

Without wanting to get into a discussion about it symptoms are usually spotted before before the worst of a condition. Its possible he would have been much worse without hospitalisation.

bils

hi u need to contact schizophrenia ireland straight away they offer support to anone experiencing any mental illness not just schizophrenia they specialise in phychosis and delusion support for service users and their families i am also a family carer and refuse to allow them to discharge your brother you can ring 01 860 1620 and ask for the rdo for your area

madser

There should be an overhaul of mental health services in Ireland so many studies and investigations have been carried out without any of the recommended changes been taken on. To admit someone to hospital and dope they up is just criminal in this day and age, no counciling no proper follow up no continuous care no proper feed back for families, how many stories do we hear of people who harmed or even killed people when they should have been in hospital and recieving care, it makes my blood boil and we as irish people are responcibe for sitting back and letting it happen, the same incompetent government voted in for more than 11 years, anyone that voted for this lot, I hope your proud of yourselves, rant over:mad:

Good luck to you cards, your brother is lucky to have you:)

bils

you need to contact Schizophrenia Ireland and do not let them discharge your brother if you feel he is not well enough be firm S I will support you through this

John368

Cards

i can identify with your situation. About 7 years ago my brother who had disappear 15 years before with out much cantact with the family turned up in a mental institution in England. I was informed and went over to see him and appear for him at a tribunial to get him out. He had been sectioned (forceably retained) and i was there to get him out. I was glad to see him and brought him back with me to live with me at my house which I shared only with a dog. He had always been a bit flamboyant or moody but he had been diagnosed in the mental hospital in England as having paranoid schizophrenia. Over the 15 years abense his falmboyance and moodiness had changed into a fully blown phschotic illness where he thought people were out to kill him and he could ear bullets whistleing past his head. He in fact behaved almost identically to Russel Crow in "Abeautiful Mind".

To get to the point, my brother died of bowel cancer because when the early signs of his illness was noticed by me, he refused to go to the doctor and when the he eventually did go he refused to let the doctor take blood samples for testing because he thought the doctor was a "government agent". I fought with the authorities for months to get him sectioned but they were just so weak that they just did nothing. I remember being at a meeting with 8 high powered doctors and social workers. They told me that they could do nothing. It was obvious to me that he needed to be sectioned so that he could get the mental health treatment and then be in a position to agree to get medical treatment. The doctors were so weak that they decided to do nothing.

After further weeks and months living with my brother and seeing him getting weaker an weaker, I could stand no more. I precipitated a situation which nobody could ignore. I cahnged all the locks in the house and locked him out. He went crazy and bashed down the door. Then people were interested. After lots of discusions with the authorities he was eventually sectioned and went to a local mental hospital. He was treated well and there eventually took medication for his mental illness and then agreed to get medical help for his cancer. he agrred to an operation and ten lived another 6 months. The alternative was that he would have died in weeks, which probably would have happened if he was not sectioned and recieved mental health medication. I was with him when he died.

The story is not without a sort of happy ending I suppose. Even though my brother's life was only extended a few months by receiving mental health medication which made him able to accept medical intervention for his cancer, it was long enough for his 20 year old daughter to be traced and be able to visit him a few weeks before he died. I am in regular contact with his daughter now and she, I believe keeps a cherished photograph of her father with her. It was a photograph I took at the mental hospital. By the way it ws a very ordinary photograph as he sat on a chair in a garden smoking his pipe in ordinary clothes. Mental hospitals are not all straight jackets and pyjamas!

I hope things go well for your brother. I know there is a fashion for people with mental health problems not to be admitted to hospital at the minute, but do not rule it out. Often doctors are afraid of law suits and complaints if they section people so often you have to fight for it to happen.

regards John

LegacyUser

Cards,

I grew up with a violent schizophrenic dad and I also went through the Rehab thing twice myself so I have a little experience with the dark side of life.

Sounds horrific, and at time it was but I have loads of great friends and considering everything a pretty good life.

My father is an outpatient now and is doing much better and takes a little medication to keep delusions at Bay.

You might not want to hear this but what is vital is that whatever happens yourself right.
IF you use self help books or councilling, or a little spiritually, then why not.
Personally,I tried all of the above and they weren't enough, like treating a blown off leg with a band aid.

The truths are this IMO.
You are a great person.You deserve to have love & fun and saftey.The World is crazy.Its not your fault.
You need humour, even in the darkest places.In fact humour feels quite at home there.When all seems lost, using humour is your way of saying "I ain't no victim"
Support is good,this forum is good, but what would be great is if you met someone going through similar experiences so you can compare stragies.
Whatever happens , you have to be good to yourself.Whatever negative thoughts you have about your situation, you should credit yourself everyday,
and thats not negoitable!!
I know the fear, its horrible but someday you will be the one helping someone get free of emotional torture.
Keep posting Cards, everyone is behind you.

cards

Hi,John.It sounds like quite an ordeal but much respect to you for helping him out and standing by him. I shouldn't say this but people with mental illness can be such a pain the hole! Forgive me. I think I'm going a bit cuckoo myself sometimes!!My brothers story has been rumbling on for 2+ years and he has "run-away" to as far as Australia until he's run out of cash. Came back and ran away to France-until ran out of money and still even ran away a thrid time.This was all done whilst vigoursly protesting "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME"!!! Still hes finally getting treatment ,(that I'm not sure I have much confidence in) but a large part of the problem was his asshole of an attitude. All part of the problem too, I suppose but that year and a half of denial was so f****** bad.Breaking into his flat to see had he

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etc.. etc.. Anyway this is'nt supposed to be a quest for sympathy,just needed to VENT!!!! On,the positive side he seemed much improved on friday but was fairly screwed up yesterday. All the hopes and false hopes can be so challenging as well.Thanks to be everybody for their thoughts and especially thanks to those that have shared their stories of having dealt with something similar. I take great hope and strength from hearing from people that have come through places that were devoid of any chance of a solution.

John368

Cards

I am glad that your brother is getting some treatment and that despite the scares you have had with him, he is OK. Yes, people like my brother with mental health problems are real pains in the *ss. I think there is a tendency for people to treat them like little feeble and ill people. Like someone who has a very severe physical illness like MS or something like that. However, they are often very clever and manipulative. When I looked after my brother for five years, I suffered financially, and mentally. I am still recovering from the mental scars and the financial loss of the whole experience. But, ask me would I do it again? I would say yes.

There is a lot of nonsense in the media and TV and on the internet about mental illness. Have you seen "A beautiful Mind"? The film starring Russell Crow playing John Nash who was a paranoid schizophrenic. OK he was a genius and won a Nobel prize. If you read his biography by Sylvia Nasar (it is long I must warn you) you will find that he was not at all like he was portrayed in the film. You find out that it seems he turned paranoid and started having all these fantasies in his early 20's when he did not get the world's mostly regarded maths prize which he thought he deserved. He was arrogant and rarely got on with his colleagues at work. He had a son by a nurse who he did not marry because he, by all accounts, thought she was beneath him. The son had to be taken into foster care because the mother had to work to bring in money - Nash gave her nothing. Nash only married when someone who he thought was his social equal came along. He and his wife separated several times and he went wandering round Europe, trying to set up a world government. He eventually returned and got back with the wife and it was only after his wife got him forcibly detained in a mental hospital several times that he began to behave better.

The Hollywood movie portrayed John Nash as some sort of great man who struggled against this illness to get the Nobel Prize. After reading that book and seeing the film I have lost all belief in biopics produced by Hollywood.

By the way my brother behaved almost identically to John Nash. He did all the things that Russell Crow did in the movie, posting letters to secret agents (my brother put them in a real letter box without a stamp while in the film Russell Crow posted them in a disused one). My brother spent hours in his room with maps and magazines looking for connections and codes like Russell Crow in the movie. However, my brother basically did a lot of the nasty things which are described in the book on Nash's life as well. We as a family are not proud of that and feel that we are partially responsible for it and wish to make amends - at least I do anyway. [/FONT

Again I hope things continue to do well for your brother

Best wishes

John