Some more 'ME' time

LegacyUser

i posted unreg here back toward end of last year, about the gf wanting 'me time' as she put it, having found out she fancied some guy in work
well since then...we got back to working it out, then something happene,d which ended up her being in hospital for 2months...which i stuck by her the whole time, which was a difficult period on both of us...

Anyway during that time,she came out with the line 'ooh this whole thing has really made us stronger'....'this has really made me realise how great you are'..'i love you' etc

She gets out of hoppy,things are fine for the first while,and i was happy they were,and she was..until...........she goes back to work!!!
She was going onto be about how she didnt want to go back, but she has a decent job so i said that would be stupid...
she asked me to a work quiz..i said no because that work guy would be there,and it would only make things awkward(this is the guy from before xmas that she was with numerous time on her 'me time')...she flipped out..then her friend explained to her how it would be awkward and she seemed fine....

then the first proper work night out...she goes out no word from her all night,then next day i said id call over, she was a little indifferent,but i did anyway....'she was out till 6am,sittin on beach with another work guy 'talking' so she told me when i got there'.....but she was acting wierd in the house...so much so that i picked up her fone to check the time and jokingly said 'ooh u got a message'...she jumped off the chair...
i asked her why...she said 'she was afraid of what type of text she might get'..becuase shes a 'little flirty' wen out with guys in work...
i wasnt impressed but let it go...the same week,another work do,she said she didnt want to go, i told her to go, and dont not go on my count, she said she wud have a g/f over instead...so that night rang her about half 11 and lone behold shes out...with work crowd..and this same guy again...blatantly lied to my face as the intention all along was to go out she later told me..

so with this i said i dont deserve this after all we been through so called around and cut the ties, said to leave me alone.....
this was 3weeks ago...she kept calling and texting, saying shes hurting sooo much..etc, eventually worming her way back in....to where we have met a few times since,and she acts as if were bf..gf when we meet...ive said we need to sit down and talk it out..she agreed...(as shes talked about it with her friend and wants to try explain things to me)...but she has blow off this chat ever since...
anyway forward to yesterday, she asked me to send an email from her account as she could not access it in work, so i said yup ill do that...but didnt get around to it until late afternoon with work...login to her email and lone behold..a forwarded email from her work account,from this work guy she was on the beach with(i think, i loose track)..giving her his email addy to send this 'pic she was talkin about later and not in work'...
I was ment to meet her last night for this chat,she cancelled(meeting a friend apparently before she goes away)....anyway late last night..i checked to see if anything had happened and lone behold she had gone out of her way to go to a net cafe(she doesnt have net at home) and send him a naked pic....i havent said anything yet, as she was all nice on the phone last night, and email today,due to meet tonight...so...im not going to say anything now....rather something later see what her response is..

ive a feeling ill probably blow up a bit tho,cant believe shes still acting like this,after all we went thru, and this was the cause of the problems in the first place
I dunno if shes 2faced,out n out liar...wanting her cake and eating it....i just dont know..

Im not really sure what advice im looking for guys, and would help...maybe..what way to approach this tonight?
sorry for the long post

jon1981

yep wanting her cake and eating is right. sounds like she loves having someone there for her but also the excitement of being with other lads. seriously thats dangerous man my head would be all over the place. you have to cut yourself away from her. shes stringing you along, she is trying to fool herself into thinking she doesnt want to be going on all these work nights out and flirting with guys.

this would seal it for me ...sending naked pics to other men!! :mad:

FutureGuy

Meet up with her and finish it. Block her number, delete her mails and get on with your life.

Trust me, you'll be doing yourself a massive favor.

rescue26

Dump her, she is using you. How many more times does she have to treat you like a fool before you see her for what she is, a selfish cow.

Wibbs

I agree with futureguy. All too often in PI people are too quick to pull the "leave them NOW!" card, but in this case, they couldn't pull it quick enough.

She doesn't know what she wants. She's "confused". That's always a beauty as a headwreck. IMHO and pinning my colours to the mast I would say she is a liar, she is two faced and she does want her cake and eat it. Until such times as the hamster in the wheel between her ears spins up and she makes a decision.

That decision won't include you, or at least not for long. Why? Simply because she thinks deep down that you'll take her crap. So don't. Scrape her off. There are a couple of billion women in the world, she's not nearly the best example of her gender.

Now be prepared when you do scrape her off for the whole "I've made a mistake, can we try again" etc. Of course as you will have shown you won't take her crap and this will make you attractive to her again. The only way you could make this work is if you kept her constantly on her toes and life's to short for that kinda work.

Beruthiel

Why are you bothering with her? She clearly couldn't give a toss about you or your feelings and is way too much work.
Find yourself someone who cares.

STUBBORNGIRL

Hi Op,

This girl obvioulsy wants to have her cake and eat it. If she feels like she cant trust herself in this other guys company then She cant be trusted! Op i think after christmas by getting back with her you gave the relationship the chance it needed - now this has resurfaced its little head again and you should see it as the get out signal that it is!

This problem is going to reoccur again and again while this girl is in this job and around this man - and what is to say that another guy in another job wont make her feel the same way.

She really doesnt deserve a (third) chance and you would be doing yourself the biggest favour by letting her go. Cut contact and i know easier said than done but for your own happiness you need to let her go!

Flirty and texting guys - do you want this for yourself - the bother of always wondering if she is cheating. you will never be happy if you cant trust her fully.

Good luck to you though -

EDIT: OMG i just reread post and she is sending Naked Pics to guys!! you dont need to come on here and ask for advice - GET RID !!

Wibbs

STUBBORNGIRL wrote: »

If she feels like she cant trust herself in this other guys company then She cant be trusted!

Exactly. It's an excuse that she uses to cover up that her crotch is doing her thinking for her. A common one with certain women. the female equivalent of the male "I was drunk and it just happened". If she's so easily swayed every time she gets a wide on with someone else, how can you hope to build a future with someone like that? Simply put, you can't.

japasca

Reading about her made me seriously angry.
Just after you tell her to get out of your life, i would email that picture of her to all her address book!
(and possibly post it here, your call);)

Ronaldo2

very simple really.
Get rid!

Grawns

She's sounds a bit mad in the head with that kind of carry on. You can't help her and she's hurting you Everyone here is right. Cut all ties, no discussions bar You're a cheat and I don't want you anymore. End of.

Wibbs

I would also reckon she's gotten off with naked picture guy at the very least. Very very few women will out of the blue fire off a naked photo of themselves to some random bloke in work even if they fancy them. That's an after the fact kinda thing.

LadyE

I would seek out revenge (forwarding on the picture)..but I would seriously look at the situation think about if this is what you want.

You deserve better!

SparklyEarrings

You gotta get rid of that girl. Naked pictures sent to guys in work - classy. You are clearly a loyal and trustworthy man, shame the same cant be said about your girlfriend.

STUBBORNGIRL

Wibbs wrote: »

I would also reckon she's gotten off with naked picture guy at the very least. Very very few women will out of the blue fire off a naked photo of themselves to some random bloke in work even if they fancy them. That's an after the fact kinda thing.

you can chalk it down she has been with him...and probably plenty more! wouldnt take a genius to realise that!

My blood is boiling at the fact that there are people like her in the world... where does she get off treating a nice bloke like that - i'm ashamed to be a woman if there are women like her out there.

(actually i would pretend to be a man only my username gives me away:D)

LegacyUser

thanks for the responses guys.....yes i know ye are all right...it is time....its just how to go about it...
hmmm ...think ill print them the email off and just hand it to her n ask her to explain...see her squirm a little......plus also email the guy she sent it to from her mail just saying, oh u do know i have a bf...mmm maybe to much

jon1981

to be fair if shes having "chats" on the beach till all hours im sure hes aware she has a bf. how long were you guys together?

cowzerp

japasca wrote: »

Just after you tell her to get out of your life, i would email that picture of her to all her address book!
(and possibly post it here, your call);)

big +1

That will send out a message, im not the fool, you are. do it.

jon1981

cowzerp wrote: »

big +1

That will send out a message, im not the fool, you are. do it.

will make her feel cheap too...which she kinda is if she can't help herself!

Aurora Borealis

Sorry but the girl is playing you like a Sega. Meet her and tell her it's finished, no uncertain terms. You quite obviously deserve better, particularly after helping her through a lot. People are so manipulative sometimes it's scary!

P.S wouldn't stoop to mailing people in her mail box. Head up high and onward

Wagon

Forward the picture to her entire address book. Then forward it to yours. Then send it to me and ill forward it too!

Seriously though, show up with the picture. This will give you solid evidence. Blow up and make a big scene if you have to, call her every name under the sun, anything so that you walk away from this knowing you got it all off your chest so you won't be tempted to call her back.

vandermeyde

Unregagain22 wrote: »

thanks for the responses guys.....yes i know ye are all right...it is time....its just how to go about it...
hmmm ...think ill print them the email off and just hand it to her n ask her to explain...see her squirm a little......plus also email the guy she sent it to from her mail just saying, oh u do know i have a bf...mmm maybe to much

I can understand you're p*ssed off and rightly so but I wouldn't bother printing things out or sending emails etc, just tell her you've seen the pic, finish it, and walk away with some dignity and self-respect.

BarneyMagee

Be strong.

Don't let the tears and crying affect you or make you feel guilty.

No matter how much she apologizes she will always go back to acting the way she has in the past and you'll spend your entire life being suspicious and that is no way to live.

Do what others have said. When you break up with her tell her you don't want to have any contact whatsoever for at least three months. Delete her phone number, block her Bebo, facebook, etc.

Believe us all here when we tell you buddy, you'll look back on July 2008 as the time you made the best decision of your life.

Let us know how you get on.

Colonel_McCoy

Kick her to the curb......................you are better off without her. She sounds like total selfish B@%%&.

In time you will realise it was the best thing you ever did.

zAbbo

Here's what you shouldn't do:

Log into email >

1. Fwd nakey pic to address book, especially distrubution lists - "allstaff@company.ie"

2. create an auto responder rule with the nakey picture

3. set nakey pic as profile pic on social networking sites

Drift

I know it's tempting to forward the picture to all and sundry OP. To be honest I think the more you see the picture the more it will hurt you so I'd recommend just break it off with her. Tell her the reason why. If she lies about it who gives a sh*t you know it's true and so does she.

Then completely blank her and get on with your life. You'll be the bigger man and you'll have shown her that.

STUBBORNGIRL

Wagon wrote: »

Forward the picture to her entire address book. Then forward it to yours. Then send it to me and ill forward it too!

Funny - LOL and well deserved but i wouldnt bother. Its not a nice thing to do although it may seem like a great way of achieving revenge. Its not going to change the situation you are in and you will just make yourself look bad in the process. Walk away with your dignity knowing that you havent wasted an entire life with this manipulative b!tch! She will get her come-uppance so just leave it to destiny!

As for what to say to her - yeah bring the email with you - tell her you know all about her little escapades with this guy and the vulgar nude pics that she is sending via the email. Tell her you are better without her and that you are glad you have realised that sooner rather than later.

She wont have any luck for what she has done to you so i wouldnt give her another thought. Then go and make an amazing happy ending for yourself.:)

And OP it is all that straightforward and easy!

Good luck.

AngryBadger

Get rid of her, she's a tramp and not worth your time.

You've given her amazing chances to redeem herself, and she keeps lying to you, and going behind your back, then she sends a naked picture of herself to some guy in work.

Outta there!

LegacyUser

thanks guys...just back fromt he 'chat' there...blew up a little but **** it feel much better for it now...i think she was in actualy shock about how i could of known such a thing

onwards and upwards

MagicMarker

Pleeeeeaseee forward the picture! She treated you like a fool, it's the very least she deserves..

But yeah, just ignore her from now on, don't reply to her or anything.