GF's Brother...

LegacyUser

Ummmm not sure if there's a solution to this, more looking for advice how to deal with a situation.

I've been going out with my girlfriend for only a few weeks and she's amazing, you couldn't ask for better in a girl, stunning, smart, great sense of humour, whenever we go out with my friends, they all compliment me on my luck. As far as i was concerned, things couldn't go wrong.

And then i met her brother.

I met him about 2 weeks ago, and first impression was great. We were having a great laugh, we had similar interests and both worked in IT so plenty to talk about, he was only a year younger than me so we quickly became mates

Then it got awkward. I was told by my girlfriend that her brother was gay, and this didn't change my opinion at all, i've no problem with gay people, have loads of friends who are gay. But once he was aware i knew, he's been flirting like mad.

I was over in my girlfriends place and while she was upstairs getting ready, he climbed on my lap. I tried laughing it off and pushing him off while trying to remain cool about it but he kept trying to slide back on and he was very hands on about it. I decided at that stage to leave the kitchen and go up her my gf's room. I said nothing, she's kinda protective about him but then it got worse.

We went for a night out during the week and he was grand for most of the night. Myself and the missus were sitting down and talking for most of the night, and he was off talking to people. When i went up to the bar to order drinks however, he came up behind me and threw his arms around me. It wasn't exactly what i'd call a comfortable situation. He'd had a few drinks and for the rest of the night, when my gf wasn't around, he'd be there, joking, and very touchy-feely.

I really don't want to bring this up with my gf, as i said, she's very overprotective of her lil brother, but on the same token, i can't take much more of this. I don't know what has to be done, but any advice would be welcome.

Thanks for taking the time to read this Hope you can help me

Kevster

You might not want to do it but you are going to have to tell your girlfriend about this. By not telling her, you are setting a bad precedent for your future relationship with her (You would be concealing information that affects her too). She will probably laugh it off at first, but then will have a think about it later when she has time alone.

By you even coming here to post about this means that it is a problem for you and, need I remind you, couples talk about problems.

Kevin

herya

Well why not tell him straight in the face that you don't want any of this, full stop? If it fails, tell the gf. It would be a pity to lose a good relationship just because her brother is misbehaving. And if you'll be annoyed all the time with her not knowing what it's all about it may cause problems between you two.

Weidii

A strange take on the situstion, and probably not the right one, but is it possible that he's doing this to freak you out and scare you off his sis?

Bounty Hunter

could also just be his extravert self now that he know you know hes gay and therefore feels confortable acting that way around you. Just say straight up "ive no problem with gay people but dont feel confortable with any guy being touchy feely with me" and if that doesent have the desired affect mention it to the GF or just mention that youve said the above to her.

Ronaldo2

Bounty Hunter wrote: »

could also just be his extravert self now that he know you know hes gay and therefore feels confortable acting that way around you.quote]

Thats one way off looking at it but it certainly doesn't explain him climbing up on your lap. You should def say something to him first, and if he doesn't change his behaviour then you will have to say it to your girlfriend.
Its a very awkward situation he is putting you in, what sort of person tries to hit on a brother or sisters other half. A jealous one maybe.

madser

Try to take him aside and have a quite word with him if that doesn't work then you'll have to tell your girlfriend, your probley not the only boyfriend of hers he's tried it on with:eek:

marti101

Tell your gf before (a)she sees something it could be innocent but by not saying anything it will make you look guilty(b)her brother gets there first and claims that youve been flirting,chatting him up.Nip in the bud now before something really serious happens

Gone West

Just PM azezil and tell him to stop

az

castie

menage a trois?

MJOR

If this was a woman or her friend you'd have no problem telling her. I can see that its akward but really if you tell him to back off or you'll tell his sis it should work. Otherwise just say it to her....

He obviously intrepreted your friendlyness for flirtyness

RossFixxxed

You have to put the foot down now. You'll come out worse if he says it first. Further, if it was her sister doing this can you imagine the reaction? Just be fair and honest, but serious about it. Be as open as you can and failing that go to him and be VERY firm (oo eck missus!) about the whole thing. There is the danger that he'll try and sabotage you so say it to her first and let her know you're going to have words with him!

Good luck, don't let ANYONE stand in the way of a good relationship. Ever. They're hard to come by and worth going to extraordinary lengths to keep!

Ross

Wibbs

FuzzyLogic and castie stay on topic and relevant or go elsewhere. I suggest AH. End of

AngryBadger

Just to be clear, is the problem here that you're uncomfortable with him flirting with you? As in that you're uncomfortable with him touching you and whatnot?

Maybe I'mc razy, but this isn't something that would bother me personally. I know I'm heterosexual, so a homosexual male flirting with me is not an issue, I'm not going to be flirting back since I'm not interested, but I know nothing's going to happen, so there's no issue there.

Not being smart, just not sure why this is a problem, you're going out with his sister, it's not like he's trying to steal you away form her, (or is it?), and it's not like you're interested in him or anything's ever going to happen (or is it?).

not being smart, but I know some gay men who do behave like this, I can understand if it's just that you're not comfortable with someone invading your space like that, but otherwise I don't really see a problem?

Wibbs

I'd be the same as angrybadger, but someone trying to sit on my lap, whether it was their brother or sister would have me raising eyebrows. It's taking the píss at best, or trying to "make a point", at worst it's very disrespectful to his sister.

nacho libre

i thought it was obvious his(the ops) problem is with her brother behaving like this with his sister's boyfriend. what difference does it make what sexual preference the person is. To me a person acting like this with a family members partner is extremely disrespectful.

AngryBadger

nacho libre wrote: »

i thought it was obvious his(the ops) problem is with her brother behaving like this with his sister's boyfriend. what difference does it make what sexual preference the person is. To me a person acting like this with a family members partner is extremely disrespectful.

The OP also mentioned that he doesn't want to mention this to his gf as she's very protective of her brother. For all we know he carries on like this with everyone, so maybe she's aware and doesn't see a problem with it.

seahorse

nacho libre wrote: »

To me a person acting like this with a family members partner is extremely disrespectful.

It is. If I'd a gay brother I'd be just as offended about him behaving like that as I would be with my sister.

OP, personally I think you should tell your gf. She may be protective of her brother but I doubt she'd protect his 'right' to behave like this.

If you wouldnt consider telling her then there's only one other course of action: simply tell him to fcuk off.

madser

Id say its not the first time he's done this.