Being "present"

ntlbell

What are the benefits of this?

how does it benefit one in their daily life? why is it important?

What does it even mean exactly? How do you know when you're "present"

maitri

ntlbell wrote: »

What are the benefits of this?

how does it benefit one in their daily life? why is it important?

What does it even mean exactly? How do you know when you're "present"

I am probably not the best person to answer this question since I have much more experience with not being present than with being right here and now. :P

For me being present is about not running away from myself - my feelings and thoughts and reactions - therefore IMHO being present is really radical acceptance of myself and thus everybody else who goes through the same as I do (whether it is pleasant or painful). I guess it's a process. A lifetime of learning.

As somebody else has written: "Attending to our present-moment mind and body is a way of being tender toward self, toward other, and toward the world. This quality of attention is inherent in our ability to love." I guess it is learning to love oneself in a deep way.

It is also learning to be fearless (even when dead frightened) and free - learning to know and accept everything that arises within (also negative emotions) so that there is no longer anything to really fear, nothing to run away from and nothing worth hurting other people for.

it is IMO opening up to the quality of "huge open space" in the world - learning to be open.

It is cultivating our natural curiosity, making life more interesting.


How do we now we are present?
Good question...I am not sure if I always know whether I truly am or not, but a good start is probably being aware of what goes on in oneself. What does the body feel like? What emotions come and go, what thoughts. And relaxing in all that.

What are your own thoughts about this? Your own experience?

maitri

maitri wrote: »

How do we now we are present?

Ooops, another Freudian slip for you Jon.

yomchi

You're on form this week!

Asiaprod

This is a nice explanation written by a Buddhist called Nissim Amon. I think he sums it up nicely. Enjoy.

The phrase "To Be Here and Now" or "Be Present" means to "become more present" and not to day dream. Most people know that the origin of this expression is Eastern and that Meditation Teachers often use it to increase the growth of awareness in our day to day lives. Being Here Now is appropriate for any work that one does. It can be very critical if you are a doctor, a tailor, a driver, or a cook. You must pay one hundred percent attention if you want the food to taste good. In all schools, religions and philosophical paths few are the phrases upon which there is such common agreement.

Being Here, Now, penetrates through the whole philosophy of Buddhism. It goes straight to the core of the matter, the very essence of life and death. But when something becomes too common, the mystery it contains tends to weaken and die away. Here and Now is more than becoming aware of the present moment. It is a difficult task. It requires one to take a very serious decision. One must make an important switch in the mind.

Each one of us lives in two different realities. One is the reality as it appears in front of us. It is reality as it is. The other is a parallel reality, one that exists only in our minds. The "Mind Reality" is an alternative to the real world. It is made up of a collection of ideas and thoughts, most of them directly related to sense excitement and feelings. "Mind Reality" is divided into two sections – the one contains an "Idealistic" perfect world in which we would like to live. The second consists of everything which we conceive to be wrong with this world, as compared to our Ideal model. The first is based on our ideas of perfection, and the other is based on our skill of criticism, judgment and the pleasure of complaining. Concepts such as Good and Bad, Right and Wrong, Past and Future, expectations and disappointments, hopes, rules - all these are part of our idealistic and emotional world.

It is this confusion - between Reality as it is and reality as we perceive it through our mind or feel it through our senses - is the source of most people’s unhappiness. Trying to put several realities together creates a constant and everlasting frustration. We face the problem that the real world is simply refusing to live up to our expectations. People insist on behaving and things insist on occurring in a different way than the way we expect them to.

Choosing "Here and Now" as a way of life means taking a brave conscious decision. It requires cutting down the energy supply to our imaginary, idealistic "Mind World", as well as to our emotional world. It is the only way to deepen our roots to the real world of existence. In fact, this is the only way to reach the Truth. It is a decision to drop dualism and give up our habit of holding parallel Realities that are made up of opposites, such as success and failure or ignorance and enlightenment. These terms exist only in the Mind, and are like a pair of thick and distorting glasses that we mistakenly consider as necessary.

As the imaginary, dualistic world fades away, one is left with reality itself. This truth is too powerful to resist. It enables one to be part of the facts instead of fighting them. It is the end of frustration that arises from the need to conform to two different worlds. It is the end of the habit of judging and the beginning of true acceptance, acceptance of others as well as of ourselves. When we let go of our own points of view, we receive the freedom to simply act from moment to moment, without the compulsion to constantly criticize everything

ntlbell

I have been mulling over the question's since I posted them yesterday and I'll probably not get this across right but here goes.

It seems that all evolutions of the human mind are geared towards survival. It also seems that we're doing everything in power to come up with more and more that removes us from our self. distractions like Radio/TV/Movies/Music/internet/drink/drugs/working too hard and that we're doing everything in power not to be "present"

So I guess the question is if being "present" is so important to our well being and happiness why do we strive to do everything but be "present?

yomchi

ntlbell wrote: »

I have been mulling over the question's since I posted them yesterday and I'll probably not get this across right but here goes.

It seems that all evolutions of the human mind are geared towards survival. It also seems that we're doing everything in power to come up with more and more that removes us from our self. distractions like Radio/TV/Movies/Music/internet/drink/drugs/working too hard and that we're doing everything in power not to be "present"

So I guess the question is if being "present" is so important to our well being and happiness why do we strive to do everything but be "present?

Now thats an excellent question!
A quote from Pema Chodron fits nicely here;
"As human beings we dislike suffering, but are addicted to it's causes"

Western society has a lot to answer for our psyche being programmed the way it is. Advertisments, globalisation, the 9 to 5 mentality, the rat race, on and on and on - society gives us little time, for time out.

maitri

Jon wrote: »

Now thats an excellent question!

"As human beings we dislike suffering, but are addicted to it's causes"

That's a good one.

It's what I tell myself when I stay up until three o'clock in the morning knowing that I'll have to get up to go to work four small hours later.:(

Asiaprod

ntlbell wrote: »

So I guess the question is if being "present" is so important to our well being and happiness why do we strive to do everything but be "present?

Unfortunately I think you are asking the wrong question here because imo it cannot be answered. It is too general, and I can think of a thousand reasons why.
In the A&A forum someone I respect very much cracked a great joke which hit the nail right on the head

You Buddhists, its all bout "me,me,me"

He was right. Radio/TV/Movies/Music/internet/drink/drugs/working too hard are not in and of themselves preventing us from being present, it is we that are preventing us from being present. This is an important difference.

When, for what ever reason we begin to question what we see around us (think of it as a kind of spiritual evolution) we create a cause within to seek clarification and answers, just like you are doing now. Some turn to Buddhism seeking answers, others turn to other paths. Other don't even think about these issue. You are lucky, you have reached a place in your life where you have created this cause and are now questioning and seeking clarification. From a Buddhist perspective, rather than question why these things are causes for others not being present, which they are not unless they let them be, see your awareness of their potential impact as your personal catalyst for self change. It is not important what others are doing, it is important what you are doing. And it is even more important that you are seeking answers.

If I was to try to answer the original question, in this case, I would say that it is because you have become aware of the importance of being present, that you see others striving to do everything but be "present. I hope this makes so sense to you, and that it helps you in your search.

ntlbell

Asiaprod wrote: »

He was right. Radio/TV/Movies/Music/internet/drink/drugs/working too hard are not in and of themselves preventing us from being present, it is we that are preventing us from being present. This is an important difference.

When, for what ever reason we begin to question what we see around us (think of it as a kind of spiritual evolution) we create a cause within to seek clarification and answers, just like you are doing now. Some turn to Buddhism seeking answers, others turn to other paths. Other don't even think about these issue. You are lucky, you have reached a place in your life where you have created this cause and are now questioning and seeking clarification. From a Buddhist perspective, rather than question why these things are causes for others not being present, which they are not unless they let them be, see your awareness of their potential impact as your personal catalyst for self change. It is not important what others are doing, it is important what you are doing. And it is even more important that you are seeking answers.

If I was to try to answer the original question, in this case, I would say that it is because you have become aware of the importance of being present, that you see others striving to do everything but be "present. I hope this makes so sense to you, and that it helps you in your search.

Of course you're correct all those distractions/escapism's don't prevent us from being "present" but we seek them out we want for them we invented them to fulfill people's needs.

so if being "present" is so important to our minds why don't we seek being present? why don't we want for it? why don't we feel the need for it? why do we not have a hunger for it?

you're going to ask "who is we?" right?

maitri

Great post Asia!

Asiaprod wrote: »

Unfortunately I think you are asking the wrong question here because imo it cannot be answered. It is too general, and I can think of a thousand reasons why.

ntlbell wrote: »

so if being "present" is so important to our minds why don't we seek being present? why don't we want for it? why don't we feel the need for it? why do we not have a hunger for it?

For me it always has to do with fear of suffering - it always "boils down" to that. I've found out distract myself because I am afraid of the feelings that will emerge when I stop distracting myself.

So I run away from the now because I am afraid of pain, but ironically the very running away creates more suffering while daring to face (possible) painful feelings (boredom, fear of failure, hopelessness, sleepiness, sorrow etc...) right now creates more freedom and happiness "in the long run".

But if meeting painful emotions is to be a success I believe it is important not to believe in the destructive thoughts that often accompany them. Being aware of them, but not believing in them. As long as I believe in destructive and delusional thoughts like: "Life sucks!" "I am hopeless!" "I am unlovable", thoughts that are only half conscious most of the time, running away and distracting myself actually makes sense.. in a way.

And I don't think some innocent distractions no and then are bad at all. It is possible - and interesting - to be present while distracting oneself too.:D

Maybe this is too personal, but anyway: Some years ago I had to go through exposure therapy against phobic fear that really proved the benefits of not always running away for me. The whole therapy was about learning to meet fear instead of running away from it. Running away from my fears earlier in life had only created more fear until my whole life felt like a war zone; meeting the fear - together with a friendly and very supportive therapist - I experienced that it dissolved gradually to my great amazement - but I still have to work with not running away or I believe it will go back to like it was.

Anyway, I can really only speak for myself and what Asia says about everybody having to seek answers for themselves is very true I believe. But discussing things with others often makes ones own answers more clear IMO.

I must stop running away from my work now.

So long!:)

Asiaprod

ntlbell wrote: »

Of course you're correct all those distractions/escapism's don't prevent us from being "present" but we seek them out we want for them we invented them to fulfill people's needs.

so if being "present" is so important to our minds why don't we seek being present? why don't we want for it? why don't we feel the need for it? why do we not have a hunger for it?

you're going to ask "who is we?" right?

Right:p
I think Jon answered that question very well.

A quote from Pema Chodron fits nicely here;
"As human beings we dislike suffering, but are addicted to it's causes"

Western society has a lot to answer for our psyche being programmed the way it is. Advertisments, globalisation, the 9 to 5 mentality, the rat race, on and on and on - society gives us little time, for time out.

In other words, we fill our minds with so many other things we do not take time out to think, so naturally we do not want for it. But as you now know yourself, as soon as we do take time out to think, we do realize very quickly that we do want it. I thinks it is a gradual learning process, its comes in its own time, and only when we have reach a certain stage of awareness that our mind opens to the concept. Buddhism seems to me to do this a lot. This is why, in general, we are told Buddhists do not try to convert others. It is the reverse, others find Buddhism.
Keep asking questions:)

yomchi

so if being "present" is so important to our minds why don't we seek being present? why don't we want for it? why don't we feel the need for it? why do we not have a hunger for it?

Maybe because what we know as 'mind' is non existent. The all powerful mind, our true essence is very rarely acknowledged.
I think we do feel the need for it, we just don't know how to achieve it or realise it, the reason why so many turn to religion, spiritual paths etc.

Asiaprod

maitri wrote: »

Great post Asia!

Thank you, and I really enjoyed, and agree with, your observation

So I run away from the now because I am afraid of pain, but ironically the very running away creates more suffering while daring to face (possible) painful feelings (boredom, fear of failure, hopelessness, sleepiness, sorrow etc...) right now creates more freedom and happiness "in the long run".