Where do ya go

stevelknievel

22 year old male single. I've been thinking about getting into the dating scene and trying to find someone for a quite a while now. I'm wondering where can you go to meet someone apart from pubs and clubs. When I'm out, I want to enjoy myself and that involves chatting to friends and strangers some nights, dancing telling stories and all that. I don't want to be trying to chat someone up who can't hear me cos of the music and cant talk cos they're drunk. And then the disappointment of failure can bring you down. Plus a lot of time, people are just looking to pull and move on to the next person. I don't know of any really successful happy relationships that started between 2 strangers in a bar. So where do really successful happy relationships start?

RedXIV

Ok i know everyone always says the pub and club scene aren't where you meet nice women, but it's a start and if nothing else, it's a great place to practice your first impressions, social etiquette and conversational skills.

And then the disappointment of failure can bring you down.

This one is a huge hurdle for a massive percentage of men, and i've been trying to rewire men's thinking for ages on this. If they turn you down, forget about them and move on. Their loss, plenty more fish in the sea. Believe me, there is nothing more liberating that walking around a nightclub with no fear of social engagment. Someone told me about the 3 second rule which states when you see someone you'd like to talk to, you have 3 seconds to make the move. Otherwise you start thinking "maybe she won't like me, maybe she'll humilate me, etc, etc". It's good advice, i swear.

As regards where to meet people, this can literally be anywhere! One of my mates met his OH as she was cutting his hair. another met his OH in a martial arts class. ANOTHER met his from going on the bus day in, day out with her and i met mine in a pub (to destroy that illusion on ya). But the one thing we all had in common is that we were all enjoying ourselves and not obsessessing with finding a partner.

If you want to go out in dublin some night, give me a bell, if nothing else i know a good few single girls, i'll introduce you to some

All the best

Red

COH

There's hardly somewhere specific that spawns 'really successful relationships'. I know plenty of couples that are in long term happy relationships after meeting on a night out. Its about the effort you put in to any given situation, not geography

Dudess

Through friends, friends of friends, partners of friends, colleagues of friends, cousins, work, college, clubs (the non banging music and alcohol kind!) and societies.

Pubs and nightclubs... not so much (in my experience anyway - ideal for no-strings sex, but not a relationship). However don't rule them out either. There really is no set place. Weddings, staff parties and other knees-ups have been known to spawn romance too!

Marksie

usually relationships start with two strangers meeting.

Whether they are successful or not I believe is irrespective of how.
Chance encounters in Bars, Internet dating, clubs, societies all have their place. Though i tend to agree with you about the noise level ... its apoint for getting addresses as any other location.
In the end its about where and how you feel most comfortable.

Dudess there has a list... its only in the end limited by your personal preferences

AngryBadger

OP there's no specific "place" to meet people. You have to be willing to communicate with people wherever you meet them. You're 22, so are you out working or still in college? I'm guessing you're not in college, but out workign, so obviously your opportunities to meet women are fewer and farther in between. Your opportunities are fewer, so I think you need to change your attitude/perspective to really capitalise on the opportunities that do arise.

I think a big reason people find themselves wondering why they haven't met someone is because we're all so busy looking for "the one" (or whatever) that we miss what's in front of our nsoes. We each have an idea of what out ideal partner should be like, tall/short, fat/thin, into clubbing/not into clubbing, and so on. Thing is, EVERYONE is doing that, and while everyone is busy looking for someone that ticks ALL their boxes they're missing out on really cool people for completely stupid reasons.

Try chatting to women wherever you meet them, don't be afraid to flash a smile, or a cheeky wink when you see someone cute, and before you know it you'll be falling over the wimmins...which might be another way to meet them

drunkmonkey

stevelknievel wrote: »

I've been thinking

This is where your going wrong, first way to start finding a woman, stop thinking!!!

Go chat to them, make them smile, give them a kiss, touch there hand, buy them a drink and be as cheesy and charming as you possibly can....they love it...

Pubs and clubs are good places, I know you can't hear them but just nod your head, smile and seem intrested, it dosen't matter what there saying, all that matters is that you seem intrested in them.....that's what there looking for from you....

Your 22 don't worry so much about dating, worry about meeting as many girls as you possibly can...you've loads of time to settle down....see the world....there's millions of girls out there wating for you, just go talk to them and buy them vodka.....;)

Don't be afraid to ask for the sale!!

If your beside a girl and you think she wants to kiss you and you want to kiss her, just say it, "i'd love to kiss you right now" she'll either bolt or pin you to the nearest surface....best of luck!!

BubbleWrap85

drunkmonkey wrote: »

This is where your going wrong, first way to start finding a woman, stop thinking!!!

Go chat to them, make them smile, give them a kiss, touch there hand, buy them a drink and be as cheesy and charming as you possibly can....they love it...

Pubs and clubs are good places, I know you can't hear them but just nod your head, smile and seem intrested, it dosen't matter what there saying, all that matters is that you seem intrested in them.....that's what there looking for from you....

Your 22 don't worry so much about dating, worry about meeting as many girls as you possibly can...you've loads of time to settle down....see the world....there's millions of girls out there wating for you, just go talk to them and buy them vodka.....;)

Don't be afraid to ask for the sale!!

If your beside a girl and you think she wants to kiss you and you want to kiss her, just say it, "i'd love to kiss you right now" she'll either bolt or pin you to the nearest surface....best of luck!!

Love it!

lifelonglufc

drunkmonkey wrote: »

This is where your going wrong, first way to start finding a woman, stop thinking!!!

Go chat to them, make them smile, give them a kiss, touch there hand, buy them a drink and be as cheesy and charming as you possibly can....they love it...

Pubs and clubs are good places, I know you can't hear them but just nod your head, smile and seem intrested, it dosen't matter what there saying, all that matters is that you seem intrested in them.....that's what there looking for from you....

Your 22 don't worry so much about dating, worry about meeting as many girls as you possibly can...you've loads of time to settle down....see the world....there's millions of girls out there wating for you, just go talk to them and buy them vodka.....;)

Don't be afraid to ask for the sale!!

If your beside a girl and you think she wants to kiss you and you want to kiss her, just say it, "i'd love to kiss you right now" she'll either bolt or pin you to the nearest surface....best of luck!!

+1

The Truth has been told!

_blank_

I tried that "I'd like to kiss you" line once.

About ten years ago.

Never again.

drunkmonkey

Des wrote: »

I tried that "I'd like to kiss you" line once.

About ten years ago.

Never again.

You must have forgot to say "Right Now" and touched her at the same time;)

nine out of ten baby, nine out of ten:D

BubbleWrap85

drunkmonkey wrote: »

You must have forgot to say "Right Now" and touched her at the same time;)

nine out of ten baby, nine out of ten:D

Gotta say, it'd work! Unless he was a pure sleaze! But if you were chattin for a while & she at least looked interested it'd probably work! Buyin drinks doesn't always work! Women are bitches [as if ya didn't know] and will take full advantage of free drinks! If you hear the line "I'm just going to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute" after you've just bought her a drink - SHE WON'T BE BACK! SHE'S LEGGED IT! GONE!

Wibbs

Women are bitches? Some women are I grant you that. About the same ratio as men are twats TBH.

OP, talk to them don't be cheesy, unless their IQ is the same as their waist size, cheesy doesn't work, or only works if the guy can pull it off. It's like being funny, a lot of guys think they are, most only are in small doses.

Engage her as a person, don't be pushy, but don't be a pushover. Make talking to you fun and interesting. Listen to her. To many talk at, not with women. Be interested in her. If you're not that interested in her as a person, why are you trying to get with her. Avoid heavy talk, surest way to get a bad reaction or end up in not quite gay friend zone. Buy her one drink, if she buys you one back game ball. After that go mostly for tit for tat drink buying. Don't get ratarsed drunk.

Ask her for her number, or suggest meeting again. Maybe suggest a daytime thing, coffee kinda stuff. Makes a change from the usual pub thing. If that falls flat, leave it and move on, but not too obviously.

stevelknievel

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Don't be afraid to ask for the sale!!

Funny you should say this. I used to be a salesman. As for the rest of the post, I know the cheesy thing works for some people, but I don't think I'm one of them I've tried and I just feel too....cheesy.

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

Women are bitches [as if ya didn't know]

Have to say it's great to hear a woman say that.

AngryBadger wrote: »

I think a big reason people find themselves wondering why they haven't met someone is because we're all so busy looking for "the one" (or whatever) that we miss what's in front of our nsoes. We each have an idea of what out ideal partner should be like, tall/short, fat/thin, into clubbing/not into clubbing, and so on. Thing is, EVERYONE is doing that, and while everyone is busy looking for someone that ticks ALL their boxes they're missing out on really cool people for completely stupid reasons.

I think this is probably my biggest problem. I will not go with a girl with short hair. And apart from that, I am way too fussy for my own good. A lot of my mates are in relationships, but in a lot of cases it seems like they went for the easy option of the drunk girl/guy they pulled when they too were drunk. If and when I start something I want it to be something that will last and not something to keep up simply for fear of not getting better. I don't want to settle for 90% when I still believe(perhaps foolishly) that there is 100% out there. Now I'm not talking about "the one" here. I like to think there's a lot of beautiful looking down to earth girls with a fantastic personality who you can just chat and have a laugh with

drunkmonkey

Look your 22, get pissed fook chicks and have a good time.....if you meet a girl and you know she's still going to look hot when she's 60...marry her....but with all the rest of them just enjoy the moment...

Say it out loud "Get pissed, Fook chicks, and have a good time, ahh Yea"

MIN2511

Seems everyone is speaking the same language:D

You don't have a problem between all the places Dudess has kindly put forward you are sure to have a bevy of laydees at your disposal....


Enjoy it!

WilmaRidesAgain

Music festivals lad !!

Get your wellies and tent on!!!

John Mason

You try a boards beers, always full of single women looking to pull.

there are many a one night boards stand that end up in a relationship

_blank_

irishbird wrote: »

You try a boards beers, always full of single women looking to pull.

there are many a one night boards stand that end up in a relationship

Indeed.

I knew it wasn't a one-nighter though.

eveie

hey
im in the same position, im 22 and single about a yr now. i find it difficult to meet someone in a pub or club but i know plenty of people who have met their OH there.
in that kinda suituation its beeter not be locked when your trying to chat up some girl as they'l think your sleezy or just plain annoying.
gigs are always a good place as well
there is no specific place, thats the tough part about it, just keep your eye open if you like someone, start chatting to them see how it goes

Blisterman

Just get in into your head, that if a girl rejects you, it's nothing personal.
She could have a boyfriend, you might not be her type, it's abad time for her, any number of reasons.
Just look at it as a kind of game. Sometimes you win, most times you lose.

Once you can do that, you shouldn't have any trouble approaching girls whereever you go, coffee shops, parties, the queue at the bank etc.

And sure, it might be awkward and weird at first, but practice makes perfect.

drunkmonkey

eveie wrote: »

hey
im in the same position, im 22

Hey Evevie why don't you and Stevekenevil get it together, he's lookin for somone to love...he seems like a nice guy.....you better snap him up before we teach him how to pull.....:D

Suggest you give him a pm and see how it goes...;)