Relationship trouble

LegacyUser

Long time poster here on boards but i have decided to go unregistered for this one.

Ok where to begin....

Im 19 years old and ive been with this girl for the past 6 months. She is 18 years old and she is probably the best girl ive ever been with. She is very good looking, great personality and she loves me .

However, since about 3 months after the relationship began i having thoughts about breaking up with her, this thought has been on my mind constantly for the past 3 months.
For some reason i just cannot enjoy myself that much when im around her which im finding really strange. I do love her, i care about her so much and i would be devastated if anything bad was to ever happen to her. When we are together i feel that there is something missing, just a natural thing that should be there in any relationship and i just feel emptiness towards her.
I know that she loves me alot more than i love her, im not trying to be full of myself or anything but i just know it. And this scares me alot.

I think i also have commitment issues, the longer the relationship is going on the more i feel trapped.
Im her first boyfriend and im her first in terms of her losing her virginity. This makes me feel under alot of pressure.
We are both from Limerick, however im going to college up in dublin and she will be going to college in limerick. Im just not sure is it worth keeping the relationship on.
Like, when i was in college during the start of the relationship it wasnt that bad, because it still felt new and exciting, however that is completely gone now, for me anyway.

I know these things happen when relationships go on with time but if im not feeling these things i should be feeling towards her then what am i still doing in this relationship?

I think i only love the girl as a friend now, like i am attracted to her and i care about her so much its unreal but like i said before, i feel that there is something missing.

We had a conversation about this a few times before, i never mentioned breaking up with her but i have told her that things have not been that great. We decided to see how the summer goes because i thought it would give a good indication of where our relationship is at, because we would have more time with each other and all that . And so far i hate to say that it has not been improving.

I feel that sometime she is trying too hard, she came back from a holiday and bought me alot of stuff and before i gave her an opinion on what kind of hairstyle would look good on her, and now she is going ahead with it.

Now, for the part im really ashamed to write, while i was in dublin, i made out with a girl in club. I felt so ashamed right after it and couldnt believe what i had done. I know alot of you dont have time for cheaters but i am truly sorry for what i done. I havent told her what happened because it would break her heart and i dont want to see her upset. I know myself that it was a stupid drunken mistake but what worries me is that i have these thoughts when im going out at night that i should i should get with some girl, its like my mindset completely changes when i have a few drinks in me.

Now i know you must all be thinking from all these signs and stuff that why dont i just break up with her, the reason im so reluctant to do it is because im afraid that it will be one of the biggest mistakes that i have ever made. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this girl, like i said before she has very few faults, she has a great personality,body,looks and she is really kind and sweet.

Im sorry now, but my thoughts are just really mixed up and i know this post isnt exactly coherent. I would really appreciate replys, as unfortunatly i am really lost at what to do.
I know im the best person to judge this situation and i should make this decision on my own but i honestly need some help.

Cheers

Mr.S

RealistSpy

Wow.

You will have to do what is best for you. I know It will be hard but if you don't see things going any further just break up with her or else you will end up cheating on her which will make things even worse.

Wibbs

Worried wrote:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this girl

I know this is really obvious head, but there is something wrong with her. You don't love her the way you should. Not at the moment anyway.

bronte

Agree with wibbs..I think you need to be on your own for a bit.
If she was the girl for you , you wouldn't be feeling this way.

jellie

If you dont love her then you need to let her go. You shouldnt stay with her out of fear of something better not coming along. Youre only 19, you'll probably meet lots of new girls in college.

If you continue the way you are you could end up cheating again & hurting her even more.

dudara

When you have doubts, you have doubts. You will need to face up to them and act accordingly rather than drag things out and cause unnecessary hurt.

Good luck

RedXIV

Wibbs wrote: »

I know this is really obvious head, but there is something wrong with her. You don't love her the way you should. Not at the moment anyway.

+1

Don't stay in a relationship because your afraid it's the best you could do. thats selfish and unfair on her.

MJOR

RedXIV wrote: »

+1

Don't stay in a relationship because your afraid it's the best you could do. thats selfish and unfair on her.

+1 She and you deserve a better shot at something.

I think you are at the age where serious relationships ride low on your priority list

NabyLadistheman

Hi there,

Im in much the same situation myself. I haave been going out with my girl for a couple of years now. It has been long distance as we were bith in college in different cities and are now both workin in different cities. Weekends are the only times we get to seee each other and this has been gettin to me alot lately. I don't really want to move away from my job or friends right now and I know that she would never move. She is expecting me to move closer at some stage. The problem is i get on great with her family an we share the same friends. Im constantly questioning should we break up but really I am two afraid to do it.

Think it is quiet similar to your case and maybe I should take some of my own advise. The longer it goes on like this the more doubts you will have. I know the long-distance certainly isn't going to help as I am sure you lead a different life when your in Dublin. As we're apart I do socialise sometimes durin the week and I know that this leaves my girl feelin lonely. I feel bad but I can't help it have to live my life two. I think you know deep down what you have to do so I hope you find the courage to do it. Best of luck

LegacyUser

Op here,
Thanks very much for all the replys.


I have come to the decision that i will break up with her, im going to do it this friday when i see her next. Its going to be one of the toughest and painful things i will ever have to do but i know its worth it in the long run for myself and for her too.

Thanks again for the advice, it was well accepted as it just opened up my eyes and made the decision im going to make logical.

Limerick Dude

OP here.

Couldnt be bothered going unreged anyway .

Going to do it tomorrow, made my decision yesterday, really not looking forward to it but it has to be done even if its going to cause alot of pain for myself and my gf.

Thanks for all the advice.

Limerick Dude.

pookie82

I hope it goes ok for you. You know that this forum is always full of guys saying their girlfriends are lovely/hot/sweet and everything they could ever ask for.... cept they're not in love anymore. And if you're drawn to be with other women and don't feel the same way about her anymore, it doesn't matter how hot or sweet or funny she is. it's not there! there's no need to even second guess what's best.