Insecure....

LegacyUser

I'm a poster on here so going unregistered just so people don't know who i am!

I should start of by saying i'm a guy in my mid 20's.

I'm terribly insecure with myself. I don't know how to explain my situation well but i will try anyway. I've just lost a great girl who i was seeing cos i am so insecure. I'm always asking questions or looking for some type of re-assurance. I don't understand how anybody could be happy with me and because of that i am always worrying. I am on anti-depressants at the moment, not very stronge one's though. This has helped me a bit, but i seem to think about things the wrong way.

I can't take thinking like this, always questioning why somebody would have an interest in me. At the moment i'm so annoyed and upset with myself for losing such a nice girl, all cos of my issues. I don't know how to change how i think. I suppose it's only lately that i have faced up to my problems. I've always thought like this, but it has never caused much hassle until recently and i just don't know what i can do. I haven't explained my situation well at all. I'm not good writing/typing things like this. I am just looking for some advice on how to deal with this, or even just to know that i'm not the only person like this out there

Thanks all

ntlbell

get your GP to refer you to a counsellor that specialises in CBT

MIN2511

TooInsecure wrote: »

I'm a poster on here so going unregistered just so people don't know who i am!

I should start of by saying i'm a guy in my mid 20's.

I'm terribly insecure with myself. I don't know how to explain my situation well but i will try anyway. I've just lost a great girl who i was seeing cos i am so insecure. I'm always asking questions or looking for some type of re-assurance. I don't understand how anybody could be happy with me and because of that i am always worrying. I am on anti-depressants at the moment, not very stronge one's though. This has helped me a bit, but i seem to think about things the wrong way.

I can't take thinking like this, always questioning why somebody would have an interest in me. At the moment i'm so annoyed and upset with myself for losing such a nice girl, all cos of my issues. I don't know how to change how i think. I suppose it's only lately that i have faced up to my problems. I've always thought like this, but it has never caused much hassle until recently and i just don't know what i can do. I haven't explained my situation well at all. I'm not good writing/typing things like this. I am just looking for some advice on how to deal with this, or even just to know that i'm not the only person like this out there

Thanks all

How to deal with what?

I know it sounds like you have "problems" but thats life, everyone has problems we just have to find the best way to handle them...
Try excercising or talking to friends... believe me you are not the only one with problems....

Ah seeing as you are young, if you are in Dublin on friday come out for a few drinks with us... nice crowd

LegacyUser

MIN2511 wrote: »

How to deal with what?

I know it sounds like you have "problems" but thats life, everyone has problems we just have to find the best way to handle them...
Try excercising or talking to friends... believe me you are not the only one with problems....

Ah seeing as you are young, if you are in Dublin on friday come out for a few drinks with us... nice crowd

I do exercise, i go to the gym quite regularily. I also have some close female friends that i can talk to. But none of this is helping me at the moment.

I know i'm not the only person with problems or to have thoughts like this. But it is clear from talking to friends/family/doctor that i have thoughts which are a lot more negative and constant than other people.

I am in Dublin, and thanks for the offer of the drinks on friday. Can't make this week due to work but will definately be going to a boards beers soon. Would like to make some new friends so i'm sure that it would be a good start!

PurpleBerry

Too Insecure, I know what you mean, it's tough. You're really NOT the only person who feels like you're "unworthy". And please try to take some confidence from the fact that you are getting help. For a lot of people, it takes a lot longer to realise that they need help.

There's no shame in it.

Marksie

CBT is one possible avenue worth exploring certainly.

But the first step is realising you have issues and also realisng that those issues are down to you and you alone.

Its too easy for people to hide behind thee excuses for why things go wrong. Some do it for thw whole of their lives, and you see a lot of it here.

It is also an incredibly courageous (though necessary) thing to do.... to truly look at yourself and realise that you are responsible for your actions, no one else.

But don't go it alone. CBT mentoned previously...perhaps lifecoaching would be another, though that will give you ideas and resources.

Sometimes though it takes a shock to realise this, you have had yours in losing the girl. Don't let it be a total waste though..learn from it and make positive changes using whatever means at hand.

LegacyUser

Neesa wrote: »

Too Insecure, I know what you mean, it's tough. You're really NOT the only person who feels like you're "unworthy". And please try to take some confidence from the fact that you are getting help. For a lot of people, it takes a lot longer to realise that they need help.

There's no shame in it.

Thank you for your reply. You say there is no shame in it, but I feel like a freak for the way i think, which in turn makes me feel more insecure and the cycle just gets worse. I know other people have the same thoughts as me, but maybe these people are strong enough to just ignore these thoughts, i'm not unfortunatly. I've known for a while that i need help, i suppose any break up ive had has shown me i need help, cos i take them very very badly, worst than most it seems. But this is the first time ive really sat down and realised how bad i am, and that i need help. I have gone through phases when things have been good with the girl i was seeing and i thought i was ok. But in the last few days she has had enough of me and i cant say i blame her, so it's just made me realise i need help. I dont want to keep fooling myself that i might be fine when there is somebody or something around to take my mind off it

GrumPy

Marksie wrote: »

CBT is one possible avenue worth exploring certainly.

But the first step is realising you have issues and also realisng that those issues are down to you and you alone.

Its too easy for people to hide behind thee excuses for why things go wrong. Some do it for thw whole of their lives, and you see a lot of it here.

It is also an incredibly courageous (though necessary) thing to do.... to truly look at yourself and realise that you are responsible for your actions, no one else.

But don't go it alone. CBT mentoned previously...perhaps lifecoaching would be another, though that will give you ideas and resources.

Sometimes though it takes a shock to realise this, you have had yours in losing the girl. Don't let it be a total waste though..learn from it and make positive changes using whatever means at hand.

All great advice. Only way to sort out an issue like yours OP is to figure it out in your own time by yourself unfortunately.