29 and stuck in a rut

LegacyUser

Hi

Im 29,I have my own business and my own house,I have good friends a great family and a girlfriend..
Sounds great i know but im not happy..
First of all the business..I'm a tradesman,I'm still getting the work to do but i am finding next to impossible to get money off builders for work i've done,But i still have to pay bills and wholesalers etc,At last count i am owed nearly 35k.
It was never like this last few years,the builders were nearly throwing the money at you but there is a definate problem with trades and the construction industry at the moment.
Secondly the girlfriend..Im not really happy with us at the moment and i think a break is what is needed,I do love her but because of the stress of trying to get money in and all that goes with it our realationship has gone way down hill...We co-own the house so this could lead to difficultys if we were to break up..

Here's my plan..
I want to break up with the gf as i think we will only end up hating each other if we stay together,I want to sell the house and split it between us..Then i want to pack up the business and feck off to Oz..
Tradesmen are in serious demand over there at the moment,I could honestly earn €100k+ a year over there..

But here's the problems...Should i really just pack in the business i worked so hard to build up? I have a great family..A few new born nieces and nephews too,and i would miss them terrible.Also i have already been in Oz when i was 19 how would it look to everyone if i went again,does it just look like im trying to be young again and going on a year long piss up like i did 10 years ago
Also what about the gf? I have asked her would she be interested in renting the house out for a few years and the two of us going to Oz.She is a nurse and would have no problem getting work over there..She says she is too old for that..... she is 31
So what about breaking up with her and following my heart?
I'm really confused and the stress of trying to get money off contractors is really getting me down..

econ08

This is a recession. Lots of people have trouble collecting their debts. To break up with your GF, sell your house, leave your job and the country is a bit drastic. The economy will pick up again.

professore

Tradesman78 wrote: »

Hi

Im 29,I have my own business and my own house,I have good friends a great family and a girlfriend..
Sounds great i know but im not happy..
First of all the business..I'm a tradesman,I'm still getting the work to do but i am finding next to impossible to get money off builders for work i've done,But i still have to pay bills and wholesalers etc,At last count i am owed nearly 35k.
It was never like this last few years,the builders were nearly throwing the money at you but there is a definate problem with trades and the construction industry at the moment.

Having money outstanding is normal in any business. You have been spoilt before.

Sleepy

If it's what you want to do. Do it.

Don't let what other people might think about you doing it 'at your age' put you off.

ntlbell

everything's a barrel of laugh's when things are going well...

with the amount of years you have been doing so well at this stage you should have a fairly tidy sum put away in the bank by now..for times like this.

If you were running the buisness well and keeping an eye on things you would of spotted a blip around 18 months ago the dog in the streets did.

you seem to be more worried about money than your GF so if your heart says follow the 100k then do the GIRLFRIEND a favour and head to oz and let her find someone who won't jump ship at the first sign of hardship..

LegacyUser

From a business point of view, you could start by getting a someone to sort your books out, if you are gonna move and that's not sorted it'll take ages. A person like this can do a day or two a month for you and chase up your debts as well if you get the right person. Helped me out no end.

You won't be going anywhere until the business is sorted out whatever happens.
Of course the house could be worth f... all by then. Prob. better renting it out...

Dudess

I think it seems like a great idea. Go for it - fresh starts are great things. You're not feeling happy and you have an idea in your head of something that will make you happy so you owe it to yourself to live it.

LegacyUser

Just out of interest, how long have you been with your GF? I am in the exact same situation as you but the only thing is I dont have a trade. I want to go to OZ but im past 30. If you do decide to pack it all in a leave, let me Kmow and maybe we can go together and have a blast. Start a new life. Me new women.

Dudess

Being past 30 doesn't mean ****. The mindset that so many people have of "oh life just stops at 30" stems from way back in the day when being 30+ was an age at which you were pretty much guaranteed a gaggle of kids. That's no longer relevant - if you've no ties, you've no ties. My uncle went to Africa for two years when he was 30 and he focused on his career when he came back, bought his house, met his wife and is now a father of three. And it wasn't exactly yesterday when he was 30 - it was 1981. He was the hippy of the family and totally seen as a bit of a black sheep by some of them (especially by my dad, his brother, who's well conservative when it comes to that kind of thing). And yet, did it do him any harm? Did it bollocks. They're all eating their words now, and are probably quite envious.

the_syco

There's a few debt collectors out there who may be able to get your money back, for a fee. Maybe getting back €33k would be nice.

As for any fear of "burning bridges", they (those who owe you money) burnt the bridges when they decided not to pay up.

IanCurtis

Sounds like you're running from your problems. If you are gonna make a move to Australia, do it without the spectre of the past hanging over you. You should be happy to leave Ireland behind and look forward to what's ahead, it won't work out otherwise.

Take stock and see what can be done financially and emotionally.

Good luck!

PS I'm 32 and far worse than you! :-)

MagicMarker

So you want to break up with your girlfriend, but you also asked her to move to Oz with you?

I think you should think long and hard about what you really want, because it seems to me that you don't know yourself.

Don't do anything on a whim. You could lose a lot and gain nothing. If these feelings are only coming to the surface recently. Then give yourself time, 1 year to think things through, get business sorted, deal with the issues surrounding your relationship, determine if there's any future there etc.

If in a years time you feel the same way then you'll know that it's what you really want to do and you'll be prepared for it.

Good luck.

MJOR

I need to ask the question.....


If there were no financial troubles would you be considering the same thing?

It all seems a bit drastic to be honest.

sunnyside

MagicMarker wrote: »

I think you should think long and hard about what you really want, because it seems to me that you don't know yourself.


Good luck.

I think he has a far better idea of what he wants than lots of the people who post saying "I don't know what I want but it's not this". Nothing wrong with going to Oz especially for someone who's been before so knows what to expect.

I agree with the others who have suggested employing a debt collector.

30 is not old, is it possible the girlfriend wants to settle down and have babies?

How Strange

Your post smacks of panic and desperation.

You run your own business as a tradesman so you've only known the good times and now things are slowing down and it's getting tough. Well unfortunately, that's life for a self employed person. My Dad is one and he could tell you all about the realities of running your own business.

I think you're throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Get your business sorted out first, as someone else said get a book keeper and get your debts paid. Get a debt collection solicitor involved if you have to. Also door to door calls are also an effective way of getting paid - you don't leave until the cheque is in your hand.

Once the business is sorted then see if you still want to go to Oz and if so go for it and good luck to you. But your current plan seems rather knee jerk and desperate really and like you're trying to run away from your problems rather than face them.

sunnyside

How Strange wrote: »

You run your own business as a tradesman so you've only known the good times and now things are slowing down and it's getting tough. Well unfortunately, that's life for a self employed person. My Dad is one and he could tell you all about the realities of running your own business.

Why is everyone being so tough on tradespeople. I have lots of respect for anyone who is self employed. I'd love to be self employed but I'm not because I understand how difficult it is and how many people fail at it. The OP is clearly a very capable person to have maintained his own business for so long.

Rayven199

Sometimes all you need is a fresh start, Im a bit like that, I like change every now and then or I find myself getting stuck in a rut and even getting a bit down! For me even changing jobs is the change I need, but sometimes a big change is in order.

But if you want to get a fresh start and get away, then why would you have asked your GF to go with you if you are sure(which you sound to be) that you dont want to be with her anymore? 30, as everyone has said before is young, its the new 20! She is probably afraid of making such a big decision and moving away. If it were me and my BF asked me to move to Oz with him, id be gone in a second!

I guess what im trying to say is that change is good,its probably just the ticket for you, but you need to give it alot more thought, particularly in relation to your GF as it sounds like she might be the thing that is holding you back the most. You could always put your business on Hiatus and rent out the house until you get back, sort out the debts and go do your thing until things pick up here and come home!

I've probably not been any help so apoligies, but thats my thoughts on the situation. I'd go, I'd bring my other half if (obviously) i wanted to stay with them, but if you dont then just go!