s.t.i

eveie

Hi all need your advice on this matter.
a freind of mine took an sti test a number of weeks ago, while she was waiting for the results she had a one night stand with a guy at another friends party.
her results came back and turns out she has chylmidia, i asked her did she use protection when she slept with this guy.....she didnt. i then asked her weather she was going to tell him
she said no.....that she took a chance and so did he! i couldnt believe this, i was shocked and actually felt sick, ok so fair enough it was only a one night stand but would she take the same stand if she was told she had h.i.v!
i took on the responsibility to try and get the msg to this guy, i txt another friend who is a friend of his friend to ask her to pass on the msg.
do you think im sticking my nose where is doesnt belong?
p.s my friend who has the sti does not know that ive done this

TPD

I think you've done the right thing, the guy has a right to know for his own sake and that of his future partners.

Edit: But passing the message through 3 people over SMS probably wasnt the most subtle way to pass on such a delicate message.

dr.bollocko

You are just taking a step further than this friend to do the right thing. Fair play I say.

jon1981

fair play, you had to say something... also have to point out shes is bloody crazy ...some people just dont learn!

r3nu4l

You may have to prepare for some fallout from this. It's quite likely that this girl will deny having Chlamydia if anyone asks her and will tell everyone that you are lying.

You did the right thing imo but be prepared for a potential backlash. Gather your evidence now.

To be honest, if a friend of a friend of a friend sent me a text message telling me someone had a disease of some sort I'd not be inclined to believe it so her potential denial will be plausible enough.

MJOR

Your friend will have a mickey fit but you definately did the right thing!

eveie

i know im not too happy having to go through 3 people in order to get the msg to him but theres no other way around it.
i think its sick that she doesnt care, its because of ppl like her that s.ti.s are so rampant. plus this s.t.i can be cleard up so easily but if left untreated can cause serious damage

eveie

its unlikely enough that it will come back to her, as the friend ive txt is one of my best friends and i trust her compeltely, as for the person shes passing the msg on to, well i dont know her and either does my friend in question

Aurora Borealis

Wouldn't bank on it not getting back to her but I do think you ultimately did the right thing though I would hope you tried to impress on her the importance of coming forward herself first before taking it on yourself.
You're quite right in saying that this kind of behaviour i.e. staying quiet is what causes more widespread infection. People do make mistakes in the heat of the moment and unfortunately STI can be the result but you have to take ownership for that and do the necessaries, no matter how embarrassing that is.

whose-law-anywa

Your friend sounds disgusting, why is she your friend, Pointless in her getting and sti test and then sleeping around. Think Karma. That chap has aids and she gets her fair share.

LadyE

I think you should have tried to convince your friend a little bit more to do the right thing, but if you knew there was no talking to her then telling the guy was a good move.

Has your friend got no cop on that

a) she is having unprotected sex with ever Tom, Dick and Harry
b) whilst waiting for results of an STI test, she put herself at risk (not knowing that she had Clamydia) AGAIN.

Can you suggest to her about getting some education on her sexual health?! Not your place I know, but your friend needs a big dose of cop on!

Wagon

Fair play to you! You're sound!

I'd also say that there will be backlash about this but think about it now, do you really want such an uncaring bitch for a friend?

LegacyUser

A friend of mine (not friends anymore) had the same thing, and was sleeping with my housemate and everyone else on a night out. I just wish I had the guts and the judgement to do what you did, I hid her info from the STI Clinic in St. James in my house, while she was still booty calling my housemate...

Always put yourself in others shoes when making decisions like this, role play in your head and the rest will work itself out.

Well done, you made the right choice IMO.

FlexiLexi

youre dead right, this is how sti's get around so quick. youre only helping him by getting him to nip it in the bud(oops, pardon me)
but really, fair play to you!

MagicMarker

Yeah, you did the right thing my friend, fair play.

Have you any way to make sure the guy got the message?

eveie

i know for sure that he'l get the msg i just hope he takes it seriously but ive done basically all i can do.
i really think its disgusting that someone could do this to another person,its really making me question what kind of person she is and do i really want to be friends with her.

Bottle_of_Smoke

I don't get this mentality. Fair enough if it was something incurable I could understand the not telling to a certain extent but a simple course of antibiotics cures chlamydia. Not many people know but it harms mens fertility too.

Would she not even have sent an annonymous text?

bored and tired

I thought that sti clinics were able to write to people anonymously to say that a person they tested had x,y,z, and that as they had sexual contact with client, they should come in for a test too. A friend of mine got a letter like that, had a canary fit, went in for the test but came back all clear.
Maybe its just in the south east. But I think it takes the embarassment out of the whole situation

by the by i think you did the right thing too, and she should get tested again in case she picked up anything from him. Some people never learn,

AARRRGH

Your friend is a scumbag who has no respect for herself or others.

People like her are dangerous.

I suggest you end your friendship before she eventually ****s you over.

Marksie

Ummm letting the guy know was the right thing to do. But passing messages through two others?

Its sure to get around and while posters may think that its just deserts, well its not juts the OPs friend who has the reputation now.

It would have been best to get his number and told him directly in that way only three would have known.
Now everyone knows.

MagicMarker

Marksie wrote: »

Ummm letting the guy know was the right thing to do. But passing messages through two others?

Its sure to get around and while posters may think that its just deserts, well its not juts the OPs friend who has the reputation now.

It would have been best to get his number and told him directly in that way only three would have known.
Now everyone knows.

While it isn't ideal, it's certainly better than nothing. Plus, if the guy wasn't worried about the reprocusions of his actions, he'll be damn sure to wear a rubber in future.

A little embarrasment and public knowledge may be best for him and any would be partners in the near future.

Oh, and i concur with Dublindude... If i were you i would explain to said 'friend' how much of a complete fool she is before deleting her number from my phone and deny any knowledge of her existence from then on.

eveie

as i have stated already i know it wasnt ideal to do it this way, but i there wasnt a whole lot more that i could have done only one person that i told knows this girl personally. at the end of the day ive done nothing wrong, if somehow it gets back to her and she gets upset about it i tell her to jump. the reason she had it was because someone somewhere wasnt bothered in telling her, so what comes around goes around.
i am aware that it affets males just as much thats why i wanted to get th emsg to him. he is a fool for not using protection but he still has a right to know.
i wonder if she found herself pregnant would she bother telling him????to some extent it is worse having an s.t.i then an unplanned pregnancy.

eveie

apologies for my spelling lol

Rayven199

Only joking!

Think you did the right thing by letting him know!

eveie

rayven
i know where you live? have my roast chicken ready for me when i come home

Nevyn

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