tired of the humdrumness of it all...

LegacyUser

Life has become so mundane.

Whatever happened to fun sundays?? whatever happened to good times?? Where did it all go wrong.

I'm 26, and single for just over 2 years; well, there was a brief relationship for fourmonths but i don't count that as I was treated shockingly and in a way that nobody should be.

I have a nice house that i luckily dont owe a lot on, i drive a nice car, i have an excellent job, albeit a very hectic one and im quite well paid. From the outside things look very rosy. Form the outside its all going well and I am so BLOODY good at maintaining my 'jazz hands' appearance.

I know i have a lot to be thankful for; i know its not all that bad. But i am so bored with my lonely mundane existence. And to add fuel to fire in quick succession a number of friends have become in engaged/and/or moved in together and are so settled; so much so that they rarely venture out of cosy coupledom.

One of them had a row with her fiance last week and suddenly i get a call 'ooh lets go out at the weekend'; by friday they had made up and then it was 'actually im stayin in Saturday night'. I was no longer convenient. I was away all of last week and hadnt seen one of my best friends since the weekend before, she said we'd do coffee yesterday; quelle surprise that didnt materialise; some BS about cleaning her car.... it does not take that long to clean a car in fairness.

I'm at the stage where i am just so lonely. My friends are all so busy with their own lives, and dont get me wrong i dont resent them for that and i know they dont do it on purpose but its sundays like this that just remind me how pathetic my life has become.

I am very active and have quite a good social life...SOMEHOW! im involved in lots of groups and things but even they are leaving me cold of late.

Work is going well, but its at the stage where its taking over my life during the week....or maybe im just letting it cos theres feck all else in my life at the moment.

The only men i meet are only interested in sex; or fruitloops; and eitherway im left feeling worthless.

I have always grappled with my self esteem despite seeming so confident on the outside.

I have suffered depression before and can feel myself slipping into it again.

I am tired of being on my own.

I just want to meet somebody nice, somebody to break this mundane existence that i have right now, somebody who wants to be with me for me ;as opposed to it being 4am and theres nobody better around so 'How u doin...'


I've changed my appearance, changed my hair, etc but nothing works; nothing changes anything. Nothing changes this crap.

I dontmind being on my own; but now i am ALWAYS on my own; and i am so tired of it.

There must be more to life than this.

Marksie

mundanity wrote: »

Life has become so mundane.

Whatever happened to fun sundays?? whatever happened to good times?? Where did it all go wrong.

I'm 26, and single for just over 2 years; well, there was a brief relationship for fourmonths but i don't count that as I was treated shockingly and in a way that nobody should be.

I have a nice house that i luckily dont owe a lot on, i drive a nice car, i have an excellent job, albeit a very hectic one and im quite well paid. From the outside things look very rosy. Form the outside its all going well and I am so BLOODY good at maintaining my 'jazz hands' appearance.

I know i have a lot to be thankful for; i know its not all that bad. But i am so bored with my lonely mundane existence. And to add fuel to fire in quick succession a number of friends have become in engaged/and/or moved in together and are so settled; so much so that they rarely venture out of cosy coupledom.

One of them had a row with her fiance last week and suddenly i get a call 'ooh lets go out at the weekend'; by friday they had made up and then it was 'actually im stayin in Saturday night'. I was no longer convenient. I was away all of last week and hadnt seen one of my best friends since the weekend before, she said we'd do coffee yesterday; quelle surprise that didnt materialise; some BS about cleaning her car.... it does not take that long to clean a car in fairness.

I'm at the stage where i am just so lonely. My friends are all so busy with their own lives, and dont get me wrong i dont resent them for that and i know they dont do it on purpose but its sundays like this that just remind me how pathetic my life has become.

I am very active and have quite a good social life...SOMEHOW! im involved in lots of groups and things but even they are leaving me cold of late.

Work is going well, but its at the stage where its taking over my life during the week....or maybe im just letting it cos theres feck all else in my life at the moment.

The only men i meet are only interested in sex; or fruitloops; and eitherway im left feeling worthless.

I have always grappled with my self esteem despite seeming so confident on the outside.

I have suffered depression before and can feel myself slipping into it again.

I am tired of being on my own.

I just want to meet somebody nice, somebody to break this mundane existence that i have right now, somebody who wants to be with me for me ;as opposed to it being 4am and theres nobody better around so 'How u doin...'


I've changed my appearance, changed my hair, etc but nothing works; nothing changes anything. Nothing changes this crap.

I dontmind being on my own; but now i am ALWAYS on my own; and i am so tired of it.

There must be more to life than this.

Well? what are you going to to about it?

You and you alone are resonsible for your own happinness and unhappiness. The sooner you realise that you will realise its not "life" that has gotten mundane, but you.

We can all suggest activities and action that would, for us, be a perfectly acceptable way of doing things.
You have changed, you dont like it, you dont like where you are going.
Work out what you want to go, what path you want to take and take steps to do it.

Its not solved by thinking or wishing it would change but by putting the will into motion and actually doing something.

Sonderval

Hi OP,

I read through your post and picked up a fairly obvious trend

I'm 26, and single for just over 2 years

I just want to meet somebody nice, somebody to break this mundane existence that i have right now, somebody who wants to be with me for me ;as opposed to it being 4am and theres nobody better around so 'How u doin...'

There must be more to life than this.

There is. But if you predicate your enjoyment in life in having a guy on your arm, then you may find yourself perpetually unhappy. In saying that, there is someone for everyone and just because he hasn't materialized at 26 doesn't mean your doomed

There is alot more to life then just becoming a couple. Go forth and experience the human condition, travel around, take up new hobbies, join classes, etc.

LegacyUser

Sonderval wrote: »

Hi OP,

I read through your post and picked up a fairly obvious trend







There is. But if you predicate your enjoyment in life in having a guy on your arm, then you may find yourself perpetually unhappy. In saying that, there is someone for everyone and just because he hasn't materialized at 26 doesn't mean your doomed

There is alot more to life then just becoming a couple. Go forth and experience the human condition, travel around, take up new hobbies, join classes, etc.

I am aware of this. I have joined classes, I have taken up new hobbies, and i do travel a fair bit, mostly with work, but travel nonetheless.

I realise that there is more to life than being in a couple, i work mostly alone, i dont have a problem with my own company.

But I am lonely. Im not saying i want to settle down; i dont necessarily think i do. But it would be nice to meet somebody nice for a change; not an asshole; to have fun with in and out of bed, a bit of spontaneity etc. Because the assholes do nothing for my already low self-esteem and i am tired of them, yet they are all i seem to meet.

Maybe i have made my life what it is today, maybe it is my fault, but surely im allowed to be tired of it??

I've tried all the stereotypical 'get me out of a rut' things, and i've enjoyed them; I enjoy them.

But theres an emptiness to it all. It'd be nice to smile like i mean it for a change..

Nevyn

Well why not drop one of the hobbies and give some of your time to a local charity shop or some other volunteer work.

unreggd

Crap Ireland Syndrome!

Sonderval

I understand what your saying - if its any consolation, I often had similar thoughts regarding relationships (or the lack thereof). But I also realised that longing for a meaningful relationship is akin to sitting in your house, waiting for the lotto to drop your number. Its almost chance.

Maybe i have made my life what it is today, maybe it is my fault, but surely im allowed to be tired of it??

Its not your fault, and I wouldn't be thinking like that. You sound like you have alot going for you in your life - but if you can't find the joy in the things you do then thats something you'll need to look at.

DetectivFoxtrot

I woke up feeling the same this a.m. and I'm married! You think it's about not having a guy but it's not - that's just the most obvious explanation. I'm 3 years older than you but have no kids yet. All of our friends have settled down and have a few kids each - we don't see any of them anymore. As such are lives have turned very boring, but I suppose at least we're bored together. However I do feel your pain as he's working all weekend and I have nothing to do! It's easy for people to say take up hobbies but it' s not that either. I have 2 hobbies, and I will spend time on both today but I'd rather if there was a gathering of friends or something - human interaction FTW!

As MArksie says though it's up to you to get your life back. I suggest ringing up one of your dearest friends and (laughingly) demand you won't take no for an answer and that you are dying to meet for a catch-up. If there's any excuses about kids tell them you'll come see them and bring some lunch or something. Some peoples lives are all about kids for a few years so you'll have to accept that and try a bit harder. If they don't have kids then it shouldn't be too hard to persuade - entice them with a bottle of vino.

Re your job, I think your work/life balance is off a bit and you are probably overdoing things in work to make up for the lack of things going on in your life. Try not do this as it will only make you more depressed if work keeps dominating things - I've been there...

good luck OP