Spider Overlords.

Shryke

How will you hail our new spider overlords?
Assume they are intelligent in a many faceted way, as big as trucks, limber and dexterous as a twelve year old girl, wiley as a cider filled tramp, agile as a goat, no, two goats. What do you do? Conform to their new world where we are nothing but cattle, or fight? They've got thick outer skeletons. What kind of weapons will it take to bring them down? Armor piercing rounds? Would nuclear fallout phase them? Is this the end?
I have already begun my own private war or should I say the war was brought to me. Just as I'm about to go to bed theres an advance scout directly above me on the wall. I leapt straight out of bed and flattened him with a thin piece of paper which I punched. The bastard then fell onto my pillow and I jumped about with the willies. Not entirely comfortable I threw him out the window and head out of the room as I forgot to brush my teeth when some movement catches my eye. This massive ugly sob is wagging about the place trying to scramble under a poster. Two down now and the mornings a long way off. No end to the carnage. All we can do is battle on.
I need theories, military analysis, witty repertoire, some guy to spell check things because I'm getting really tired here guys seriously the ****ing spindly bastards are all over the place.

javaboy

I'm sure it seemed hilarious when you were typing it. :rolleyes:

Kold

Rape them. And then the next female to post on this thread.

Shryke

And if I've raped her before?

Sofaspud

I felt something tickling my face earlier, assumed it was a hair, I took it off and it was a small spider which had abseiled from the ceiling onto my face!

The revolution is coming!

faceman

not the spiders dude, not the spiders!

Archeron

I shall weave a gigantic "welcome web" from young human children's skin to show that I respect our position in this fantastic new arachnid world.
BYOB.

KnifeWRENCH

You must earn the trust of the spiders. Learn their language and breed with with their women.
Then, when they least expect it, you smite them with an almighty spider smiting doohicky. (also known as a rolled up newspaper)

Of course all this is irrelevant, seeing as our eventual Overlords will either be lizards or Chinese people (or both?...)

I think you should be more afraid of when the llamas take over.

Sherifu

I'm sure we'll get into plenty of sticky situations with them.

AckwelFoley

Drugs are bad.

proof is now conclusive..

so is cranial bleeding which i now have after reading that

beautiation

I say we challenge them to a hokey-cokey off for control of the planet.

fillmore jive

dont we shallow something like 8 spiders a year without realizing it? seems they're in the lead....

javaboy

fillmore jive wrote: »

dont we shallow something like 8 spiders a year without realizing it? seems they're in the lead....

No.