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X Rated Riddles

  • 11-07-2008 8:28am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    Q: What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
    A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

    Q: What's a mixed feeling?
    A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

    Q: What's the height of conceit?
    A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

    Q: What's the definition of Macho?
    A: Jogging home from your vasectomy.

    Q: What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
    A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

    Q: How do New Zealanders practise safe sex?
    A: They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

    Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
    A: Because it's worth it!

    Q: What is a Yankee?
    A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

    Q: What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
    A: They both like a tight seal.

    Q: What does a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
    A: Their balls are just for decoration.

    Q: What's the difference between 'Ooooohhhh' and 'Aaaaahhhh'?
    A: About 3 inches.

    Q: Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
    A: For traction in the mud.

    Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
    A: The grip.

    Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
    A: It's not hard.

    Q: How do you circumcise a Hillbilly?
    A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

    Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
    A: About 45 pounds.

    Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
    A: 45 minutes.

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    A: Because breasts don't have eyes.

    Q: If the Dove is the bird of Peace, what is the bird of true love?
    A: The Swallow.

    Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
    A: 6 inches is medium. 8 inches is rare.

    Q: Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
    A: Because they don't have balls to scratch.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 656 ✭✭✭chickenhawk


    LOL. I haven't heard most of them before which is unusual these days. Cheers!


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,110 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    Very funny :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    Excellent!!:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,523 ✭✭✭kwestfan08


    LOL:D. Very good


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,248 ✭✭✭Plug


    Brilliant:D Love them.


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