How often do you really really fall for someone?

LegacyUser

Hey everybody, Im a male in my mid 20s and have had 3 short relationships ever, and a few other 'flings' where I was just meeting girls from time to time. For the first time in at least 4 or 5 years I instantly got absolutely crazy about a girl at the weekend, I was chatting to her for a few hours while drinking, our group of friends bumped into their group of friends in a pub. Neither of any of our group got any numbers to keep contact or anything (I know I know) and were from different counties. So I guess thats the end of that.
But its weird I cant get her out of my head and I really have that 17 year old 'obsessed' feeling again.
I honestly started wondering up until this weekend did I not like women anymore or something.

My question is,(to the older more experienced people), how often has this happened you? I mean its been years since I felt like this and im worried if it will be years again before I meet someone that I really really like and would love to go out with straight away.

RedXIV

anonom wrote: »

My question is,(to the older more experienced people), how often has this happened you?

Well that stung

OP i may be younger but i've had 3 cases in my life where i was obsessed as you said, the first and second seperated by 3 years. Like you, went through my doubts but i'm pretty sure everything is going to say that it'll just keep happening until you find someone you want to stay with

CathyMoran

I have had it happen to me a few times but only once has the obsession not stopped (with my hubby).

Wibbs

OK back off whippersnappers:D I've been in love twice. That's it. I've been in deep "fond" a couple of times, but actual love? Just those two times. Now it can be individuals definition of love itself that may be the issue, but that's more a humanities question. I will say in those two cases I knew something important was going down. It wasn't like infatuation.

Pen1987

Twice in 6 years and one 'false-alarm' where I saw her, thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world but after two months she turned out to be an absolute gob****e. The other two are previous girlfriends who I had that 'love at first sight' feeling thing with, theyre the only ex's I go back to now.

How did you not ask her for her number man?! Your shooting yourself in the foot... was she talking about future plans to be back there? she from the area? She have friends in the area? All cant be lost!

Marksie

really it does not matter how many times anyone else "falls" for someone, its important that you felt this after so long.

You just hit it off, it happens, But typically it seems to have happened with someone unattainable. You really havent fallen in the love sense of the word, juts got extremely attracted to and it stayed with you.

Better to think of its as showing you can have those feelings again and thus a start.
But why FFS did you not get her number??????

dr.bollocko

With the endless drudgery of having a very very normal life, isnt it occasionally forgiveable to fall head over heels for someone who doesn't deserve it if it makes you stop wishing your life away for a while?

Marksie

dr.bollocko wrote: »

With the endless drudgery of having a very very normal life, isnt it occasionally forgiveable to fall head over heels for someone who doesn't deserve it if it makes you stop wishing your life away for a while?

absolutely! (but not if its continually so)
and the endless wondering is it Lust, Love or infatuation, the need to categorise it and label it. Stops people feeling it and just seeing where it goes.

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote: »

really it does not matter how many times anyone else "falls" for someone, its important that you felt this after so long.

You just hit it off, it happens, But typically it seems to have happened with someone unattainable. You really havent fallen in the love sense of the word, juts got extremely attracted to and it stayed with you.

Better to think of its as showing you can have those feelings again and thus a start.
But why FFS did you not get her number??????

I really should have I know even just to talk to more, but I guess the fact that shes living about 160k from me was one thing. Thats always well and good for people already going out but its different for somone youve just met. Not to mention the fact that it was only when they were leaving I started really thinking more and more about how cool she was, not to mention great looking. It might sound weird but its only after she had gone I had realised I was mad about her. I had spent alot of yesterday and the day before thinking about her and comparing other girls to her etc(i.e. oh shes not a patch on the girl that night), it was crazy because it was only one night of chatting.

As you say though Im going to think of it overall as a good thing, its nice to get that feeling of not being able to shake someone out of your head, even though im sure itll wear off in a day or two. Im glad it happened but I just hope it happens again soon because I havnt felt like that in a long long time.

AnonoBoy

Just once.


It'd be nice if it happened again.

STUBBORNGIRL

hey op - If i had a medal for everytime i met a great guy and let him just walk away because i couldnt ask him for his number or to meet up with him again! i suppose i thought that if he were really interested he would have asked me! Now comes the cruncher - Why didnt you get her number?

Anyway what i will say is that all things happen for a reason - what is to say both your paths will not cross again!

As for being in love and how many times - i think you would know if you really really loved someone! Not that i can comment cause I have only ever loved one person and they didnt love me back so had to move on! but he is someone that i will never forget and i remember every second of all our time together!

I do think you use the word love too loosely! there is no way you could love someone you just met - attraction and chemistry and lust yes - which then develop into love through time! but no way Love is a word that should not be thrown around too easily!

There is someone for everyone just dont let opportunities pass you by in future! Grab hold of them!!

LegacyUser

Its 2008.. if you got her name and location, you can probably find her on bebo!! or facebook.

wont be very smooth though

Aurora Borealis

God that's such a pity you didn't exchange numbers at all between the two groups. I'm the same OP I very rarely fall for people either, takes a lot. For a while there I was convincing myself I should be seeing people even if I wasn't head over heels for them but it's not me. When you do meet someone then you realise why it is you don't fall for just anyone. Hope your paths cross again!