Truth About the Ex all came out....

LegacyUser

Help me, I desperately need some perspective on this, I feel so hurt but I dont know if I have the right to be...

Over the weekend my BF and I stayed in with a few drinks, we sat up talking, I am now so confused, I just dont know if I want to continue on or if I can. He told me he loves me, the sex between us is great "sizzling" in his words. When we first met me he told me that physically "you are the best woman I've ever had"...OIf course I was chuffed with this.

Anyway, then he asked me if I would like to see a picture of his ex, I have always been sensitive about her as she was his first love and she broke it off with him, I know he really loved her and it was his first proper GF whereas I had had 2 serious relationships before him.

Anyway I said I would like to see the pic, as it turns out he could not find any. I was curious as any girl would be to see her physical appearance. But anyway this seemed to open the floodgates and he started talking about her, I let him as I was curious to hear about it.

As he was talking I got the feeling he was reminiscing and it became clear to me that with his inhibitions down (drink) he was more free with his thoughts than he should have been...
he told me she was "the start of his sexual adventure" but on the other hand I was "more adventurous and raunchy in bed" but reading between the lines I get the impression he was more physically attractive to him.

He also asked me was he better than one of my ex'es in bed I said yes better, he was delighed with this. I asked him was his ex good (I had got the impression before she was a bit prudish)and his answer was "she was good in the bed".....this is totally different from the impression he gave me for the last 10 months. I feel sick.

Along the way he gave me plenty of compliments about other stuff but the overall impression I was left with was I was second best. I am utterly gutted. I couldnt sleep with him after hearing all this, I can barely look at him.

The real punch in the stomach was when I told him later I didnt want to hear about his ex and him in bed he apologised and then rambled on again and said I was "as good" as ex's name !!!!!! Hastily adding "if not better"

I didnt say much at the time but I am so hurt. I have not been able to eat since all this was said -Saturday night. And I can barely look at him.

I am so confused, he was just being honest, if very very tactless, Am I in the wrong to feel this way, I feel as if I have got a glimpse into reality and am now feeling I was living in a bubble before.

The "I love you" speech he gave was very very heartfelt and it was after that he went onto talking about the ex, maybe he just wanted to get it all off his chest, I just dont know what to feel.

Was he out of order for revealing so much or am I being over sensitive...

craichoe

SickToMyStomach wrote: »

Help me, I desperately need some perspective on this, I feel so hurt but I dont know if I have the right to be...

Over the weekend my BF and I stayed in with a few drinks, we sat up talking, I am now so confused, I just dont know if I want to continue on or if I can. He told me he loves me, the sex between us is great "sizzling" in his words. When we first met me he told me that physically "you are the best woman I've ever had"...OIf course I was chuffed with this.

Anyway, then he asked me if I would like to see a picture of his ex, I have always been sensitive about her as she was his first love and she broke it off with him, I know he really loved her and it was his first proper GF whereas I had had 2 serious relationships before him.

Anyway I said I would like to see the pic, as it turns out he could not find any. I was curious as any girl would be to see her physical appearance. But anyway this seemed to open the floodgates and he started talking about her, I let him as I was curious to hear about it.

As he was talking I got the feeling he was reminiscing and it became clear to me that with his inhibitions down (drink) he was more free with his thoughts than he should have been...
he told me she was "the start of his sexual adventure" but on the other hand I was "more adventurous and raunchy in bed" but reading between the lines I get the impression he was more physically attractive to him.

He also asked me was he better than one of my ex'es in bed I said yes better, he was delighed with this. I asked him was his ex good (I had got the impression before she was a bit prudish)and his answer was "she was good in the bed".....this is totally different from the impression he gave me for the last 10 months. I feel sick.

Along the way he gave me plenty of compliments about other stuff but the overall impression I was left with was I was second best. I am utterly gutted. I couldnt sleep with him after hearing all this, I can barely look at him.

The real punch in the stomach was when I told him later I didnt want to hear about his ex and him in bed he apologised and then rambled on again and said I was "as good" as ex's name !!!!!! Hastily adding "if not better"

I didnt say much at the time but I am so hurt. I have not been able to eat since all this was said -Saturday night. And I can barely look at him.

I am so confused, he was just being honest, if very very tactless, Am I in the wrong to feel this way, I feel as if I have got a glimpse into reality and am now feeling I was living in a bubble before.

The "I love you" speech he gave was very very heartfelt and it was after that he went onto talking about the ex, maybe he just wanted to get it all off his chest, I just dont know what to feel.

Was he out of order for revealing so much or am I being over sensitive...

What age are you ... seriously .. grow up and tell him to grow up too.
He had a previous relationship and so did you .. thats in the past

Zombrex

SickToMyStomach wrote: »

Over the weekend my BF and I stayed in with a few drinks, we sat up talking

That sounds like a very f**ked up conversation you too had.

Why was he telling you all this?

Was he trying to make you feel insecure as part of some power game, make you feel insecure so you are happy you have him?

Or was he just rambling about his ex?

I don't know, you were there we weren't. Without knowing his motivation for all this it is hard to tell you what to do.

Petrolium Hat

SickToMyStomach wrote: »

Help me, I desperately need some perspective on this, I feel so hurt but I dont know if I have the right to be...

Over the weekend my BF and I stayed in with a few drinks, we sat up talking, I am now so confused, I just dont know if I want to continue on or if I can. He told me he loves me, the sex between us is great "sizzling" in his words. When we first met me he told me that physically "you are the best woman I've ever had"...OIf course I was chuffed with this.

Anyway, then he asked me if I would like to see a picture of his ex, I have always been sensitive about her as she was his first love and she broke it off with him, I know he really loved her and it was his first proper GF whereas I had had 2 serious relationships before him.

Anyway I said I would like to see the pic, as it turns out he could not find any. I was curious as any girl would be to see her physical appearance. But anyway this seemed to open the floodgates and he started talking about her, I let him as I was curious to hear about it.

As he was talking I got the feeling he was reminiscing and it became clear to me that with his inhibitions down (drink) he was more free with his thoughts than he should have been...
he told me she was "the start of his sexual adventure" but on the other hand I was "more adventurous and raunchy in bed" but reading between the lines I get the impression he was more physically attractive to him.

He also asked me was he better than one of my ex'es in bed I said yes better, he was delighed with this. I asked him was his ex good (I had got the impression before she was a bit prudish)and his answer was "she was good in the bed".....this is totally different from the impression he gave me for the last 10 months. I feel sick.

Along the way he gave me plenty of compliments about other stuff but the overall impression I was left with was I was second best. I am utterly gutted. I couldnt sleep with him after hearing all this, I can barely look at him.

The real punch in the stomach was when I told him later I didnt want to hear about his ex and him in bed he apologised and then rambled on again and said I was "as good" as ex's name !!!!!! Hastily adding "if not better"

I didnt say much at the time but I am so hurt. I have not been able to eat since all this was said -Saturday night. And I can barely look at him.

I am so confused, he was just being honest, if very very tactless, Am I in the wrong to feel this way, I feel as if I have got a glimpse into reality and am now feeling I was living in a bubble before.

The "I love you" speech he gave was very very heartfelt and it was after that he went onto talking about the ex, maybe he just wanted to get it all off his chest, I just dont know what to feel.

Was he out of order for revealing so much or am I being over sensitive...

So the story is you wanted to hear about your BF's ex for ages. He tells you about ex. You get upset and tell him not to tell you anything else.

Seriously grow up and stop being so sensitive. Adults have sex. Adult's (generally) have multiple ex's. They have good/great/inbetweeney and sh1ty sex with said ex's. If you can't get over that then you're going to have to go find a virgin.

Dragan

OP,

the take home lesson here is don't start conversations you can't handle.

You were both drinking....he had sex with someone before you and it was good. I imagine you had sex with someone before him as well.

This whole assumption that because we are seeing someone it means they are the best sex ever......i assume you are both pretty young?

Drummerboy2

Why bother asking someone to tell you the truth about their past knowing that you may not be able to handle the truth. The guy seems to love you and was being honest with you. Everybody has a past. Its the future that counts.

Beruthiel

I'm guessing you must be young.
Adults with any common sence just don't go there. Converations like that are of little worth, no use and are hardly going to help.
What my partner did before I met him is of no interest to me. What I did before meeting him is none of his business.
Think first before having a conversation like that again.

LegacyUser

What was his motivation though...I dont know.

Its just weird he would give this I love you speech and then spend a half an hour rambling about her.

I understand he has a past and so do I but while I am a big girl and can hear about the ex in general, it was just hard to be put so much in the picture about their sex life, I suppose every girl wants to feel she is number 1, now I feel I am just a poor substitute.

He said I am "as good as" ex....................WTF?

I am me, not to be compared (unfavourably) against what I now feel he sees as the original and best.

It seems to me he would still be with her if she had not broke it off with him and he just has me because I am nearly "as good"

Looby_Loo

What would you have prefered- for him to badmouth this girl to make you feel better?
Would you really like to be with a guy who had so little respect for previous girlfriends.
Presumably they were incompatible and so broke up, is that not enough?

Dragan

sicktostomach wrote: »

I am me, not to be compared (unfavourably) against what I now feel he sees as the original and best.

It seems to me he would still be with her if she had not broke it off with him and he just has me because I am nearly "as good"

What you are currently suffering from is called ( by me, because i just made it up ) High Fidelity Syndrome.

If you have ever seen the film or read the book there is a part in it where the line

"No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian... in my head."

pops up and pretty much covers the way the human mind can work when it comes to finding out about a partners sexual past. What you need to realise is that you MAY be attaching a lot of your own base fears to the things your boyfriend said.

When people get drunk they tend to reminise a little bit. I have had my weaker moments when drunk thinking about women who have put me through the grinder. It happens.

When you default state is sober you need to put more weight on what is said and done when sober.

To be honest the only thing haunting you at the moment appear to be your own insecurities. At the end of the day, if his ex was better in the bed that you then so what? YOU are putting the entirity of your relationship down to sex which is a big mistake.

LegacyUser

In a way, I feel better that most seem to feel I should just forget it. I would just like to point out it was him who started the conversation not me, while I was curious to know things I thought he would have more tact than to be so obvious that he preferred her to me.

I understand these types of conversations are inappropriate -I didnt start it I allowed him to talk while feeling quite uncomfortable but I thought at the time I should have been big enough to take it, to be cool, but as it turns out Im not.

Anyway, I do take that point the past should stay in the past and all that. But unfortunately now the cat is out of the bag and I dont know if I can forget about it so easily...

Will this second best feeling go away? I dont know.....?

Marksie

So you had drink taken and then started a talk which, if you are going to start you have to be prepared for the answers.

Now, at which point did you say, no this is too much, or no i dont want tosee pictures of her.?

In reading your post, it obvious that he was aware that it was a sensitive issue, the compliments etc along the way.

In the end you have come away with the impression of this in your head.

Plus she is his ex... is your relationship based entrely on whether you are great in bed?

Honestly, look at this, you didnt change the subject, you were inetersted and you got an honest answer... you cant handle it. Get a grip.... where did you learn your bed skills? past lovers or a book. Or were you looking for an ego massage..oh you is the best. You got the truth.

This happened to a very famous girl once, her name was Pandora

Amazotheamazing

Don't tell them that Dragan, if women work out just how true to life High Fidelty (the book) is, we're all doomed.

OP, the guy was drunk, I wouldn't read too much into it.

Zulu

OP: why not take this as an oppertunity to improve youe sex life and work towards being the best in bed? as opposed to worrying about what she might or might not have been like.

MJOR

My other half and I have a policy whereby we don't discuss exs.

I like you was curious and from the get go he explained that she was his past and I was his future.... It might be worth it to adopt this with your relationship...

Its natural to wonder but in this instance I would suggest not talking about her as you seem a tad insecure re her

Silverfish

SickToStomach wrote: »

In a way, I feel better that most seem to feel I should just forget it. I would just like to point out it was him who started the conversation not me, while I was curious to know things I thought he would have more tact than to be so obvious that he preferred her to me.

I understand these types of conversations are inappropriate -I didnt start it I allowed him to talk while feeling quite uncomfortable but I thought at the time I should have been big enough to take it, to be cool, but as it turns out Im not.

Anyway, I do take that point the past should stay in the past and all that. But unfortunately now the cat is out of the bag and I dont know if I can forget about it so easily...

Will this second best feeling go away? I dont know.....?

Hi, I completely see where you're coming from, and its a horrible feeling.

I'm going to suggest you speak to him (calmly!) about this when you're both completely sober.

I've said things about exes with a few drinks on me, I've heard the words coming out of my mouth and thought "What the hell? No he wasn't, he was a louse!!" so we all get a bit vague on the actual thoughts with a few drinks on us.

Don't let this eat you up, talk to him about it. Its horrible to have the 'Second best to an ex' feeling, I've had it hanging over me once or twice and it will completely wreck the relationship unless you sort it out.

Also, never ask to see pictures / details of an ex.

Overheal

You've been in a good, 10 month relationship. And, you Love eachother.

What I read here, is your boyfriend chose to open up a bit that night by choosing to share what (yes) he considered to be an important part of his life story. You should be further chuffed (I love that word) m'lady that he feels you are secure enough to hear this. But unfortunately, you really aren't it seems.

You'll have to come to terms with some things. For one, he had sex before he met you. And, that was his first sexual partner. AND, (brace yourself) probably had romantic feelings for her, and probably loved her. You will have to accept that. those are the facts; she was an important part of his life.

But, now YOU are the important part of his life now, and it seems to me from reading your post that its probable he just wants to come clean with some details: the unflattering truths that nobody should be burdened with at the start of any relationship (some would say at any stage), but are nonetheless the truths.

You can't let this eat you up m'lady. It will just lead to jealousy, and insecurity; and then you'll start pushing him away, and that will be the end of this relationship in a very bad way.

Take some time and think about this. If you honestly don't feel you can, well, one way or another it will lead to the end of your relationship quickly. And, in the future, take Beruthiels advice.

LegacyUser

But, being the best is what I do, thats me, better technique, do things that other girls wont do, great kisser thats the feedback Ive always got from men is that I am dynamite in the sack, thats what I have going for me. I could accept he preferred her looks to mine.

But now, it seems I am "as good" as her, thats just a sickener, what have I got now that trumps her.......nothing.

I feel utterly worthless, I know ye are all saying having the conversation was a mistake but I cant "un-know" what I know now can I ?

If I am not special in some way to him, what is the point?

Dragan

You are completely validating yourself based on sex.

Thats a mistake.

MJOR

Well I would hope if he loves you that it doesn't boil down to being great in the sack girl.... There is no hope if that is what is keeping you together.

Why do you sell yourself so short in terms of why someone would stay with you?

Do you not think your smile your sense of humour your general fabness should be more important than whether you swing from the light fixtures>???

I dunno but I would be really disappointed if my OH measured his love for me by what I would/wouldn't do sexually

Sleepy

SickToStomach - if you're attitude to sex is that you're as good as you can be, frankly, you must be useless in bed.

The best lovers are those that realise they're always learning, always improving, learning their partners etc.

Get over your ego.

Karen_*

Op its never wise to have an in depth conversation about exes and what they were like in bed. As you've now learned. And particularly not with drink on you. Forget about it and avoid that sort of conversation in future.

I don't think jealousy and insecurity are limited to the very young so don't see why you're getting the 'grow up' and 'what age are you' response.

srdb20

Listen girl, that conversation was a mistake and especially with drink taken, but look at it like this, its a lesson learnt, so chin up and try working on your relationship instead or worrying about the past, my 0.02

all the stars

SickToStomach wrote: »

But, being the best is what I do, thats me, better technique, do things that other girls wont do, great kisser thats the feedback Ive always got from men is that I am dynamite in the sack, thats what I have going for me. I could accept he preferred her looks to mine.

well, who are you competing with? has he 3 other girlfriends you need to eliminate? no i doubt it...

SickToStomach wrote: »

But now, it seems I am "as good" as her, thats just a sickener, what have I got now that trumps her.......nothing.

This has to be the silliest statement ever. Your competeing with someone who isn't in the picture... Why the heck do you need to "trump" her... also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter?

SickToStomach wrote: »

If I am not special in some way to him, what is the point?

Your being very childish.
So what he talked about his ex.. big deal if she was so amazing they'd still be toghether.

Karen_*

SickToStomach wrote: »

But, being the best is what I do, thats me, better technique, do things that other girls wont do, great kisser thats the feedback Ive always got from men is that I am dynamite in the sack, thats what I have going for me. I could accept he preferred her looks to mine.

But now, it seems I am "as good" as her, thats just a sickener, what have I got now that trumps her.......nothing.

I feel utterly worthless, I know ye are all saying having the conversation was a mistake but I cant "un-know" what I know now can I ?

If I am not special in some way to him, what is the point?

Is sex all there is to your relationship? Are there not loads of ways you can be special? Men will of course be delighted if you do more than other girls will do. Is that why you do them? I guarantee you're not the best in bed in the world. And you're not the best cook or athlete either. But there isn't anyone in the world like you and there never will be. Enjoy that instead of feeling like life is a competition.

LegacyUser

"also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter??"

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

jellie

SickToStomach wrote: »

But, being the best is what I do, thats me, better technique, do things that other girls wont do, great kisser thats the feedback Ive always got from men is that I am dynamite in the sack, thats what I have going for me. I could accept he preferred her looks to mine.

But now, it seems I am "as good" as her, thats just a sickener, what have I got now that trumps her.......nothing.

I feel utterly worthless, I know ye are all saying having the conversation was a mistake but I cant "un-know" what I know now can I ?

If I am not special in some way to him, what is the point?

you seem to be defining your whole personality by what youre like in bed. theres more to life & more to relationships.

RealistSpy

Ah don't discuss exs it usually makes one partner sad or just plain angry.

Pat Mustard

Here is a bloke's take on it:

1. The bloke you are going out with seems pretty naive. He should have known not to voluntarily bring up the subject of an ex-girlfriend. Nothing good could ever come of that.

2. You have nothing to worry about regarding this.

RedXIV

SickToStomach wrote: »

"also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter??"

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

Gonna let you in on a secret lass, 9 out of 10 guys will say the best sex is the last one they've had, why? because we don't landmark it they way you think we do. I've had sex and 20 mins later been thinking, when i can i get it again. While you may be good in bed (showing up is all you really need to do that) he's gonna get the same satisfaction he would from anyone else. except he's coming to you.

If you were to break up because of the reason's you've stated above, you have alot to learn about relationships.

Dragan

SickToStomach wrote: »

"also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter??"

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

He said she was a good ****. He didn't say he loved her, or her missed her, or he wanted her.

He said she was a good ****. It's safe to assume that most people think their partners are good in bed, what with sex being an enjoyable and important aspect of most relationships.

I'm normally a bit politer in PI and would have more patience but i can see you repeating this ad infinium so i'll just pop this in here now to save time.

Get. Over. It.

Sounds harsh right? Well maybe it is. If your gonna sit there and moan about the fact that someone in your ex's sexual history might be better than you then it sounds like you are overly in need of appreciation and validation from your partner and the only way you know how to get it is with sex.

Respect yourself more as i imagine you, like everyone else, have interesting and attractive aspects outside of the bedroom.

LegacyUser

Not long after I got together with my current boyfriend we had a similar chat- in which he referred to an earlier girlfriend as "the one that got away", the best in bed of all his exes and "the benchmark I compare all others to"!!!

I said nothing at the time: we hadn't been together long (or had sex yet!) so it didn't affect me particularly badly; I knew he had some major previous relationships and obviously presumed he'd been quite into at least some of the girls; and most importantly- I had asked about her and let him keep talking, and we were drunk and in a nostalgic mood. Obviously I wasn't going to ask at the time how I measured up to her as we hadn't been together for at all long enough for me to presume I was the love of his life.

It did start to bother me once we became more serious, not helped by the fact that he was still in occasional contact with her and would usually come away from their encounters in a bit of a mood- which implied there were still feelings/resentment there.

In a much later drunken conversation though I accidentally mentioned it- only to discover that he was horrified that I remembered the original conversation, that I had taken drunken nostalgia seriously, and that I thought for a second it still applied.

Moral of the story- I felt extremely stupid for letting something like that prey on my mind for so long and for letting a drunken comment undermine they way I knew he felt about me from everything he did and said. I let that one negative thing (that was nothing even to do with me) cancel out the reality of the best relationship either of us had ever had.

I understand how insecure something like that can make you feel. But you have to realise that it was a stupid conversation to encourage- obviously you were likely to hear something you didn't like! Don't let it fester- either get over it or talk to him again- while not drunk or sounding like a crazy lady btw- and let him reassure you that he is with you because he wants to be.

You can choose whether to believe what he says or not- its your call. But people say inappropriate things they don't necessarily mean when drunk and if you're prepared to walk away from a good relationship over something like that then you're probably not mature enough to be in one.

Lollipops23

It's always hard to hear about exs,particularly if they were the "1st love" dealy.
You were bound to end up having a conversation like this at some stage-curiousity is natural,even if logic tells us that we're gonna end up with hurt feelings.
You say your BF was "reminiscing" about her-tbh i think the fact that he could look back so fondly on their time together is a good sign. When we get really really f*cked over and hurt by someone,you can only remember the negative, eg every time their name comes up you think "that bitch/bastard". When we finally move on and get over them, you'll suddenly have just "fond" memories. This doesn't mean he wants to get back with her/misses her.
You're just gonna have to get over the fact that they had sex. Plenty of times. And he's not gonna just out-right lie about it to you. Learning to get over partners former flames id part of being in a grown-up r/ship.

LegacyUser

Ok, I hear ye everybody.....thats what I wanted to know really, if I was being out of order and its seems I am, so I will just have to learn from that.

I havent said anything to him, so I better not say anything and just lick my wounds in private and tell myself to cop on.

Thanks although the advice was hard to hear I am prepared to learn from this and grow, sex is important to us both. I suppose maybe I put too much on that, but it does still hurt to know what I thought was true, what he always said to me now does not seem so.

Anyway, I will have to start a new mantra in my head that it doesnt matter ....

Thanks again everybody for your advice.

Marksie

SickToStomach wrote: »

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

OK, brick wall and headbanging come to mind with this.
To hell with politness, you are being incredibly immature and childish, but oveindulgent in self pity.

FFS sex isn't a scorecard with the outcome being determined by the highest number. You my dear have alot to learn

to parahphrase Dragan: Get. Over. It. or Get. Out.
But whihc ever you do don't wallow in it

MJOR

SickToStomach wrote: »

"also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter??"

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

Every ome is someone elses leftovers.... I prefer being with someone that has been in a relationship before as they are more "trained"

LegacyUser

"OK, brick wall and headbanging come to mind with this."

Hey, there is a time delay on my posts going up so my answers are to posts much earlier in the thread, I have the gist of the advice alright and am grateful for it.

Its just that my posts are coming up long after all of yours you see.

Anyway thanks again everyone, one last thing, I am inclined to let it lie now but some posters have said talk about it.....yay or nay, as I said I am inclined to try to just forget it now.

Thanks again

srdb20

MJOR wrote: »

...I prefer being with someone that has been in a relationship before as they are more "trained"

Agree 100%:pac:

seahorse

SickToStomach wrote: »

But, being the best is what I do, thats me, better technique, do things that other girls wont do, great kisser thats the feedback Ive always got from men is that I am dynamite in the sack, thats what I have going for me. I could accept he preferred her looks to mine.

But now, it seems I am "as good" as her, thats just a sickener, what have I got now that trumps her.......nothing.

I feel utterly worthless, I know ye are all saying having the conversation was a mistake but I cant "un-know" what I know now can I ?

If I am not special in some way to him, what is the point?

I'm not trying to be mean here, but honestly, if you feel "utterly worthless" because you reckon he regards you to be "as good" in bed as his ex, who he maintained was great in bed anyway, I think a spot of counselling wouldn’t go amiss.

You need to come to understand there are more important aspects to who you are than how you use your tongue, hands, hips and vagina. I must also point out that you sound delusionally arrogant on the point of your sexual prowess: I’m sorry but you obviously need to accept that every woman on this earth is also in possession of these body parts and most women know damn well how to use them.

all the stars

SickToStomach wrote: »

"also, have to point out - you have him...? or does that matter??"

I only have him cos she broke it off with him, thats the whole point.....he wouldnt be with me now if she hadn't and he obviously still harks after her, I am the wooden spoon, the booby prize, now that I know that I just dont see a future any more

why the heck does that matter? you are with him... what happened before you came along is not your concern.... odviously not a believer in fate bringing people toghether are you?
Your very insecure, you need to sort that out or he will be gone like a shot. You have a past, he has a past. deal with it. This really isn't an appropriate reason to break up with someone... you didn't tell him not to talk to you about her, you encouraged him. The fact you didn't like what he said is the fallout ... lesson learned me thinks...
It shouldn't be an issue,

LegacyUser

SickToStomach wrote: »

"OK, brick wall and headbanging come to mind with this."

Hey, there is a time delay on my posts going up so my answers are to posts much earlier in the thread, I have the gist of the advice alright and am grateful for it.

Its just that my posts are coming up long after all of yours you see.

Anyway thanks again everyone, one last thing, I am inclined to let it lie now but some posters have said talk about it.....yay or nay, as I said I am inclined to try to just forget it now.

Thanks again

thanks