Homesickness

tolosenc

I dunno if this counts as a PI, but I need an outlet and feel this would be a more, um, "delicate" place than AH!

I'm living abroad now, but before I'd even left the ol' sod, I knew my dad and sister would be out for a week at the start of July, so there wasn't too much to be upset about when I left. They have to be at the airport tomorrow about 30 mins before I start work, so I just said goodbye to them about 90 mins ago, and for the first time since I left, I've felt upset and homesick - missing all things Irish. I'm sure it'll pass but it's a horrible feeling, and I won't hear from them until they arrive in Dublin at 8:30am (local) on Monday.

Does anyone - particularly those who lived or currently live outside of Europe - have any suggestions to make the next few days a little easier? I feel like I want to go home, but that's not doable in the immediate, and I fear that it'd be like an alcoholic just having a drink to get over something!

Thanks for reading.

Caoimhín

Hang in there obl, you will be fine in a few days.

I get all weepy when abroad and i hear even a note from an Uilleann pipe.

Its totally normal to feel the way you do, everyone does from time to time. Are you there long? You seem like a nice person and will soon make friends over there which makes things easier.

c - 13

It will pass. You may feel crappy at the moment but give it a day or two and you'll be fine.

It hits everyone at some point. I'm living foreign too (2 months) and got two days in the middle of it where I was pissed off and felt like jacking it all in and going home.

I find the trick is to keep busy.

For me thats the gym and learning to play guitar.

You could try mixing your routine up a bit ? Head to a new restaurant tonight, join a gym, buy something you've been looking to get, go out somewhere new with friends.

The worst thing you can probably do tonight is sit around at home.

tolosenc

Well, it's almost midnight here, so it's a bit late to do anything. Gonna throw on a movie to take my mind offa things.

I've been away longer now than I've ever been before, but was apart from any member of my immediate family for the longest ever before they got out. I guess their visit was a crutch. Just got a text wishing me a good night, and saying it was great to see me, almost tears - this is ****. It's still Saturday here - and I'm busy doing unfun things till 9pm on Monday

Cheers guys.

c - 13

Are you completely on your own over there ?
Friends/Close co-workers or anything there ?

tolosenc

I'm living with a friend, but he works nights mostly, with me on days. Just started a new job on Friday morning as well, so no co-workers.

I have a few cousins that live about 2 hours out of town, I've been meaning to get in contact for a while - I'll guess I'll do that soon enough. In fact tomorrow night - without fail.

c - 13

Good plan. It will all come together over the next week or two once you get settled in the job, it just takes a bit of time.

Feel free to PM for a chat if you get desperately bored I know what its like to be in that boat !

Wurly

obl wrote: »

I'm living with a friend, but he works nights mostly, with me on days. Just started a new job on Friday morning as well, so no co-workers.

I have a few cousins that live about 2 hours out of town, I've been meaning to get in contact for a while - I'll guess I'll do that soon enough. In fact tomorrow night - without fail.

Good. Now yer on the right track. Keep yourself as busy as you can with as much variety as possible. So when you do slow dow and your feelings catch up with you, for the most part, they aren't so severe.

Having 2 sisters living in Australia, I can relate. One of them was in absolute bits leaving the last time. She was happy as Larry though after a few days.

Enjoy the experience of living abroad while you can. Good luck.:)

Miss Fluff

I've lived abroad on a number of occasions and it is always difficult when loved ones come for a visit and then leave:(Surround yourself with people and keep realy busy. This is the perfect chance to go and seek out those cousins, they will probably have lots of friends too so a great opportunity to meet lots of new people, great way of keeping your mind off the homesickness. Also, make sure that all your friends and family back home have a Skype account, great way of keeping in touch OP.

DenMan

Hi OP

I am the same as Miss Fluff, I have lived and worked in a few countries alright. Definitely staying busy is a huge thing to remember. Some people like to reminisce about being at home. It is good to remember the good times at home, but you have to remember where you are you now and take hold of that. You are now living in a new country and are contributing. Like another poster said about playing the guitar. That's a great idea if you are into musical instruments, when I returned to Ireland I decided to learn the keyboard. I am still learning by the way, but enjoying it. Do whatever interests you outside of work. If you like reading then see if you can join a local library. If you like writing, start putting a short story together and when you are ready see if there are any creative writing workshops/groups nearby. You will get tremendous satisfaction in seeing others view your work. If you like theater, see is there an amateur drama group nearby, it will give you the chance to flex your performance muscles and will give you a lot of confidence. Make a list of the things you like doing. It does help to put it down on paper/computer as it allows you to see the things you like doing staring back at you. You also have cousins nearby so you should definitely look them up.

When I was abroad I didn't have any problems integrating and recently went to Malta to work in a country which English is a third language behind Maltese and Italian. Anybody can do it, you can too! I know you miss your family and they miss you. I am sure they would want you to enjoy your time in a new country, meet new people and do things you may not have had the chance to do back home. Do your best. Good luck OP.

geminilady

obl, you may feel like you wanna go back but dont, i think if you did it would make it much harder when you come back.

Distract yourself, perhaps explore your new place, have some time where you totally relax.

Is there any irish clubs or anything around?

Best thing is to distract yourself, and try not to get too down it will pass just give it time.

Take care of yourself : )

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I live abroad too - admittedly not as far away as you - but there's still water between myself and Ireland. Living abroad is a bit of a rollercoaster. You'll have your good days and your bad days. Some days you'll wonder what the hell you made the decision to move away for, but I bet some day you'll wake up and think it was the best decision you ever made. As some previous posters said, keep yourself busy, it'll keep your mind off thinking about home. Best of luck!

Overheal

Just dive in to your new surroundings. make an adventure out of it. worked for me when i came to your depressing rock

Banana_montana

Oh I get homesick too, even if I just go away for a week or so. I never really do because of it. It's an awful feeling... can make ya feel very vulnerable and sensitive, which in turn makes it worse, haha aaah its a big vocious circle... BUT!
The best thing to do is keep going! You will soon settle in and hopefully really enjoy the adventure. Not everyone settles in during the first couple of weeks.:)

DenMan

Hi obl

How are you getting on now in your new surroundings. Have you had a chance to see what things you can get involved in. Hope it works out for you.

MIN2511

Hello...

I moved to Ireland at 16, it wasn't as difficult as i thought... Don't worry you would be fine....

In life we have to embrace new beginnings, go out to places, try and meet new people

I did and now i consider Ireland as home, my nickname is Irish!!!