Where to find a nice guy?

LegacyUser

Ok so, I came out of a serious relationship 9 months ago and i feel like i'm just about ready to move on.

Thing is, I don't really know how to go about meeting anyone or even flirting...I'm approached in bars a lot and i always just get really uncomfortable and feel like there's something sleazy about that whole scene...

My last boyfriend had been my best friend for about 2 years before anything happened.

Oh and I work anti-social hours and probably wouldn't ever go down the internet road - am i fookered?

RedXIV

As said in every thread on the subject that pops up here in PI, your next serious relationship could pop up from ANYWHERE. I've met girls that i've gone out with in the weirdest places, and most people will tell you, you'll meet OHs in the most random of places.

Just don't be afraid to pursue it if you see something that interests you, be it in pub/club or the library or the supermarket. guys are everywhere, trust me, he'll be where you least expect him.

Best of luck

Red

Wurly

Best place to find someone is where you share a common interest. Bars, as things go today, are bullsh1t.

Try a night course, sports, social group etc etc.

Anywhere where you feel that you thrive and are excited about achieving more for you.

Great to meet someone at these sort of things but better if primarily you do it for yourself first.

Your happiness should be paramount, regardless of whether there is a man on the scene or not.

Work on being happy and doing things you enjoy. The rest will work itself out.xx

Sprouts

You're not going to meet someone in a supermarket, thats too American for it to work here, it will be in a pub, you just need a good B/S filter in your brain, its difficult for both boys and girls so relax, there are good people out there, you will discover one when you aren't looking. Best of luck.

RedXIV

Sprouts wrote: »

You're not going to meet someone in a supermarket, thats too American for it to work here

I went on several dates with a girl i met in a supermarket. Don't dismiss it yet

Sprouts

RedXIV wrote: »

I went on several dates with a girl i met in a supermarket. Don't dismiss it yet

I just find it strange, its not really that Irish, I blame sex in the city, if your out shopping and buying potatoes or something mundane you dont expect a supermodel to go broadside with a shopping trolley and say 'hey big boy nice spuds whats your number''. This is Ireland, everything happens in a pub.

aviendha

Tri wrote: »

Bars, as things go today, are bullsh1t.

ah that's a bit harsh on bars - to back up Sprouts' post, once you have a good b/s filter on, you can have great fun in bars (which, incidentally, is where I met my OH, and most of the people I know have met theirs).

Give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't assume that every guy who comes up to chat to you in a bar is a sleaze - remember there are nice guys out there who are looking for "a nice girl" too.....

Wurly

aviendha wrote: »

ah that's a bit harsh on bars - to back up Sprouts' post, once you have a good b/s filter on, you can have great fun in bars (which, incidentally, is where I met my OH, and most of the people I know have met theirs).

Give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't assume that every guy who comes up to chat to you in a bar is a sleaze - remember there are nice guys out there who are looking for "a nice girl" too.....

Bars used to be great but I just feel its going down the swanny these days.

I didn't mean that every guy who chats to you is a sleaze.:D But rather that there is drink involved. Good or bad thing? Well, thats debatable.

But for example, if you met someone at keyboard class -:rolleyes: :pac:. Well firstly, you have a common interest, secondly, you are seeing the real them without their liquid dutch courage.

Each to their own though. I just seemed to attract guys who were very Shane McGowan esque in bars. But hey, don't let my bitterness sway you.:D;)

The Mighty Ken

OKitstime wrote: »

I'm approached in bars a lot and i always just get really uncomfortable and feel like there's something sleazy about that whole scene...

A lot of decent single blokes I know have stopped chatting up girls in bars as they're tired of being made feel like rapists when all they're trying to do is strike up a genuine conversation. If you think there's something 'sleazy about that whole scene' then you're probably doomed to be alone as it's the main social scene in Ireland. Besides, good guys go to the pub too. You just need to be able to differentiate the sleazebags from the decent blokes - tarring everyone with the same sleazy brush is misandry and will see you single for quite some time. Good luck.

biko

OKitstime wrote: »

Ok so, I came out of a serious relationship 9 months ago and i feel like i'm just about ready to move on.

Thing is, I don't really know how to go about meeting anyone or even flirting...I'm approached in bars a lot and i always just get really uncomfortable and feel like there's something sleazy about that whole scene...

My last boyfriend had been my best friend for about 2 years before anything happened.

Oh and I work anti-social hours and probably wouldn't ever go down the internet road - am i fookered?

Internet dating is a great way to meet people. I've met friends and girlfriends this way. Don't paint yourself into a corner, it could work.

Marksie

If you feel uncomfortable about being chatted to in bars then you are not perhaps ready to start dating and interrelating.If the "internet thing" isnt your idea either then that cuts it down even more.
If you work unsoiciable hours then thats another factor reducing the time.
In the end if you can't strike up a conversation with strangers cant structure your dates through the internet, work anti-social hours so you cannot go to shared interest events or even organise dates properly, then yes you will be sinlge and maybe should buy a cat.

So haveing read you PM and bropken down all the negative reasons you have put forward for NOT getting to know members of the opposite sex... what are YOU going to do about it.
For sure as hell, we wont be able to do it for you.

sunny2004

Your search is over here I am

Seriously..
have you thought about dating someone from the services ?
Police, or a medic?

its easy, shoplift and then head-butt the wall and you will meet both !

courageoussteve

Give zoosk on facebook a go! (it's great fun and there's no CV required). also have a snoop around on your friends facebook pages and see if there's any boys you like the look of! I suppose one final option would be an introduction agency. (now that sounds wierd)! but I can gaurrentee you there are loads of guys in your shoes just dying to meet you. Oh and smile alot, it's a dead cert winner!

MrJones

OKitstime wrote: »

Ok so, I came out of a serious relationship 9 months ago and i feel like i'm just about ready to move on.

Thing is, I don't really know how to go about meeting anyone or even flirting...I'm approached in bars a lot and i always just get really uncomfortable and feel like there's something sleazy about that whole scene...

My last boyfriend had been my best friend for about 2 years before anything happened.

Oh and I work anti-social hours and probably wouldn't ever go down the internet road - am i fookered?

So what are you doing in bars if not to socialise and talk with other people :-)
I think having read this thread and other related one yesterday that its clear that the majority of girls who get chatted up by guys in bars/pubs have writte n him off straight away.
Different things work for different people, but as said already on this thread, if u have an open-mind to meeting people all the time then u will meet someone...despite unsociable wrk hours etc,..

af_thefragile

Gigs are a good place to meet people.
If they're at the gig then they probably are into music and like the band too so you've already got something in common to speak bout/work on.
And the close proximity with the people while you're up front helps too. When you're all waiting for the band to come on and have nothing to do, you could always spark a conversation with the person squished up besides you. Speak bout how uncomfortable it is, how the supporting band sucked, or how good they were, speak about your liking for the band you've come to see.

Its not very tough... You've just gotta put yourself in the right places...

SarahSassy

There are nice guys everwhere - work, clubs, friends of friends etc. What are you interested in? There are dating clubs combined with all types of interests now e.g. wine dating....

kowloon

RedXIV wrote: »

I went on several dates with a girl i met in a supermarket. Don't dismiss it yet

Being given free samples doesn't count as a date .

OP, How about you chatting up men in pubs? Then its only as sleasy as your intent.

lifelonglufc

Well helloooooooo there haha

Being in a similar situation myself tyring to find a nice girl, what I've learned here really is to just not focus too much on finding that person and instead just let it happen, because it will eventually!

But there are plently of us nice ones around

MIN2511

Seems to be loads of singletons out here... We should organise a singles night out
Op as you know now you are not alone, tbh it's what u enjoy most.
If you dont fancy bars then maybe gigs, pubs, don't rule internet dating

sullivk

I've got the same problem myself OP. Trying to meet nice guys is so hard!
It's getting to the stage where my sisters are trying to set me up with their older male friends *shudder*

MJOR

I met my hubby to be on the net....... I was a bit disheartened by pubs where everyone seems to have to have fifty pints in them.....

We are both normal people neither of us were hiding anything gruesome...


My brother out it well when we told him how we met....

Internet? you can meet anywhere, a pub,club or supermarket.... :cool:

SnowMonkey

Ove met a few women in bars before but nothing with much play in it a few comon grounds but nothing i could work well with...

Its diffcult being single and trying to meet some one but you have to stick with it, i think it takes time like im the sorta person with in 5 minits of talking to a girl weather its worth talking toher because some time's its just impossible to talk to some girls not because i have nothing to sya but because wher enot on the same wave length....

Its like shoping in the january sales there loads of crap but nothing you really ever need , it just takes time i think, but comon grounds help soooooooo much.....

why wont you try internet dateing ?

ps id like to say where are all the nice girls >?????? that are single....

Clare Bear

Can I ask why you're completely ruling out Internet Dating? You never know until you try. There's plenty of guys on there, who just like you, are bored with the pub scene etc and are giving it a go. I don't understand why you're so dead against it, I think you could be surprised if you checked a couple of sites out.