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How do I tell him now?

  • 05-07-2008 2:10am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I have been dating my bf for three years. He is my first serious relationship after coming out. The thing is that I had a lot of issues dealing with the whole gay thing and went through depression and mood cycles - I stil need time off work because of it every so often and see a shrink. Anyway for whatever reason I did not tell him about this when we started going out and to this day I haven't. But I feel it is holding me back in the same way as not telling friends and family about being gay did in the first place. And on the other side I am afriad I will be dumped either for not being honest or because of the depression. I love him dearly and also my circle of freinds were mainly his friends to start with and I fear I will be lost without them if we broke up. I was new on the scene when we met so had met very few friends.

    I feel I am damned if I do and damned if I dont. Should I tell him?


Comments

  • #2
    jells bells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 49 ✭jells bells


    Hi OP, first off well done for taking your own mental health seriously and for seeking help to get you through a tough time. That’s a big step that not everyone would take.

    I say you should tell you BF. As you pointed out, it’s holding you back…must be a giant elephant in the room to hold something like that to yourself.

    I couldn’t ever picture leaving someone I loved because they admitted to having depression (and seeking help for it no less). I could however see leaving a relationship because someone was inexplicably moody…I assume that has an impact on your relationship?

    Sit down and tell him straight out. If he has a negative reaction then he's lacking in emotional support and understanding and you’re better off without him.

    Best of luck.


  • #3
    DenMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,268 ✭✭✭DenMan


    Best to get it out of your system OP, no point in keeping it all bottled up inside. You will feel much better once it is out in the open. Good luck.


  • #4
    Hooly22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 179 ✭✭Hooly22


    Deffinately tell him.
    Best of look.:)


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Your sexuality has nothing to do with it.

    People of both gender and of many sexual orientation get into relationships but don't tell their partner about their baggage & issues.

    What you're experiencing is part and parcel of any relationship. If he's worth sticking with he'll understand.


  • #6
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,516 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    As said above, be honest, every relationship has skeletons in it's past. If this one is hindering your relationship, get it out there, you will feel better no matter what the outcome because you were honest. If he's in it for the long haul, he'll understand ;)


    Best of luck OP

    Red


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