The Stalking Ex From Hell

LegacyUser

O.K so I went out with this girl for a little over a month, she was a very good looking girl (had modelled quite a bit in her late teens) but for some strange reason was extremely low in confidence. She needed constant reassurance and I felt she was very needy and so broke it off after 5 weeks. Then it happened. Drunken phone calls at all hours, her arriving at my gaf at ridiculous hours drunk banging on my door and constantly leaving me long emotional comments on bebo giving the impression subtly to other girls who are on my profile that we are an item and even telling girls that know me that were still an item!

That was bad but then things really turned. She found out I slept with this girl that she semi knew from her modelling days and began threatening her and spreading nasty rumours the girl was really upset and decided she didn't want anything to do with me which really upset me cause I really liked her, she was smart and beautiful, outgoing without the crazy! This kind of thing happened a lot whenever she got wind of any girl I was with and basically no girl within our social circle wanted anything to do with me. But that wasnt the end if she was in a club that I was in and she saw me even chatting to girl she would walk up and shout at her or grab onto me and start going hey hunny and all this if the girl didnt walk away there and then she would get abusive. Sometimes in the smoking areas she would start calling me a dickhead who cheated on her (completely untrue) and of course make a big scene warding off any potential girls. Its gotten so bad that I avoid going to all the places she goes which is annoying when your a student because everyone goes to the same places and they are great, great nights. Not only my love life but also my social life is being affected.

Then the grand finale. She texted my mom and said I did steroids, told her I her her on numerous occasions and am aggressive and violent because of all the steroids I am taking. I go to the gym but am certainly not on steroids nor have I ever hitten her and I am not an aggressive person at all!! Of course my mom was very worried something she doesnt need as her sister is very sick at the moment. I texted her to say I would go the gardai if this continued and she texted back saying she would make up accusations against me. then last night I get rung from some lad claiming he would stab me for what I had done to her obviously she had been feeding him lies. I am not too worried as I can defend myself and your man is probably all talk still though it made me realize just how out of hand this whole thing has gotten

I am just wondering should I go to the gardai? Talk to her friends? Go to her family? I dont know.

Karen_*

Why don't you go to the gradai and ask them if they would call her and have a word with her asking it to stop. That will frighten the life out of her.

Anti

Keep a log of all texts and phonecalls. Screenshot the bebo messages. Incase this gets out of hand you have some evidence. But i would certainly consider calling the guards now, at least they will have a record too.

John Mason

OMG, have all the girls in Ireland turned into complete nutjobs?


OP go to the guards right away and show the message where she said she would make up an allegation.

Make a formal complaint against her, get your mobile number changed make your bebo private and delete her access.

Anti

irishbird wrote: »

OMG, have all the girls in Ireland turned into complete nutjobs?


OP go to the guards right away and show the message where she said she would make up an allegation.

Make a formal complaint against her, get your mobile number changed make your bebo private and delete her access.

You can actually have her blocked from contacting you over the network. You just need a form from the guards. Usually this will have her kicked from her own network for breaching the toc of her contract (yes even on payg)

funk-you

As others have said, go to the garda with a log of everything you have. Worst case scenario is she could go to the garda about you on some made up accusation and turn your life into a living hell. Nip this in the bud now.

-Funk

Gurlzie1

irishbird wrote: »

OMG, have all the girls in Ireland turned into complete nutjobs?


OP go to the guards right away and show the message where she said she would make up an allegation.

Make a formal complaint against her, get your mobile number changed make your bebo private and delete her access.

Fully agree 100% with going to the guards, logging all calls and texts, changing your number and making your Bebo page private. It might seem like extreme measures but your ex sounds like a complete nut job!

The sooner you go to the guards and make a complaint the better. The longer you leave this the more time she has to come up with allegations and spread them around to people. You'll probably find that she'll give up if shes spoken to by the guards

GOOD LUCK

WilmaRidesAgain

Yep go to the guards without a doubt.

millyj

Hi, I have had thsi problem but in reverse. my ex is male and I have had to call the guards on 2 occasions now and I just hope this is the end of it.Me and him broke up before christmas but he cant seem to let it go or accept that we are over.

I do wonder how effectove it is calling the guards. the last time they came out to me ( last thursday 3.30am) all they did was talk to him! i mean as soon as they left he was free to come back and restart the abuse and banging on my door!

Gumbyman

Definitely go to guards. At least if anything happens this will be on record. Good luck! Mind the crazies.

MJOR

Oh My God!!! What a looneybin case! Contact the guards. Report the abuse on bebo. Block her on MSN. Do everything in your power to rid yourself of her.

I dunno what is wrong with the young ones these days!

Sugar Drunk

Poor you she sounds insane!!!

Keep track of all the texts and calls your sevice provider can provide these records. See if you can get her banned from calling you (someone else alluded to this).
On bebo - go private!! remove her as a friend and set the setting that allows you to approve comments before they are posted on your page.

I would def call the guards its the shake up she needs. See if you can get a restraining order!

Hooly22

Good lord, sounds like she's lost the plot.

I agree with everyone else - keep some records and call the cops.

Best of luck

pookie82

Go to the guards NOW before she does - if she goes first with some made up sh*t anything you say could been seen as a defense. Get in there first and hurry. She needs to learn a lesson.

4Xcut

Go to the gardaí now and as soon as is legally possible have charges pressed. Also keep a log of things and bring a civil case against her.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Anti wrote: »

Keep a log of all texts and phonecalls. Screenshot the bebo messages. Incase this gets out of hand you have some evidence. But i would certainly consider calling the guards now, at least they will have a record too.

Yes screenshot immediately, she can delete those messages on bebo. Feel for ya, sounds horrible

Redpunto

You need to make a statement to the guards before she does so get yourself down there with all your evidence, sounds like shell keep going and things could get nasty.

takola

As already said, keep a log of all her calls/texts. If you still have the message she sent saying she'd make up accusations against you then great because that will keep you covered.

I imagine you've deleted the bebo comments? But if you haven't I'd make screen shots of them and take them to the guards as well.

Ian Beale

Go down to your local garda station and bring your mobile phone.Tell them about the threats that your getting on your mobile/bebo etc.Let her make up anything she wants to if the guards go around to her.Even if she deletes that text saying "She'd make up accusations" it can be retrieved from the phone.Oh forgot to say as well bring your phone charger with you and leave the phone with them,I love that trick they use pretending to be "you" and getting caught red handed when the person stalking you replys with abuse.
Also ask about getting a restraining order against her even a temporary one for a few months.

Sugar Drunk wrote: »

Keep track of all the texts and calls your sevice provider can provide these records. See if you can get her banned from calling you (someone else alluded to this).

You can also get her number barred from calling you but you'll have to get the guards to contact your service provider as they won't block the number without hearing the abuse from the guards.

RuthyB

Go to the guards - i had a similar thing happen to me. Keep a diary of every call/text/voicemail for a week or two then head straight to the local garda station. Block her on bebo and make your page private. If you would rather keep your page open then there is an option on bebo that allows you to approve comments before they are posted publicly on your page.

But deffo go to the gardai - - they'll take it more seriously than you think!!

Tommy the Cat

Jaysus she sounds like a bunny boiler. My heart goes out to you lad, had a similar thing happen to me in work but not as bad as yourself. You hear about women going through this all the time, but its a hell of a shock when its the other way round.

starlight07

This girl is clearly poison. Shes on a one woman mission to completly destroy your reputation and I doubt shes going to stop unless you do something about it.

Has she no friends who would tell her to cop on?!

Id say go straight to the guards, get your word in before she makes up a serious allegation about you, from the sounds of it it wouldnt be suprising if she did. As other posters have said keep a record of all the texts and explain the full story to them, hopefully they will take it seriously.

I dont see why you should have to change your number because shes a nutter, see if your network provider can set up a block on her contacting you. Delete her and block your bebo.

ntlbell

irishbird wrote: »

OMG, have all the girls in Ireland turned into complete nutjobs?

No, it's always been this way.

don't reply to any text's from her, go to the guards they can't do much but take her name and if you have it address and the text message, as i said they can't do anything about it but if something shoul dhappen down the road you're covering your backside.

taidghbaby

i'd maybe talk to her friends/family first!!

this girl obviously has social/personal problems and badly needs help!!!

(if you feel charitable that is....if not off to the guards)