Breastfeeding

Dreamer 7

Mods, I know this may suit parenting also but am looking for advice from anyone with any expierence of this.

I am due my third child in November and the issue of breastfeeding has come up again. I did not breastfeed my other two but am now weighing up the pros and cons. Basically i am terrified my boobs will be ruined if I breastfeed, has anyone any expierence, guys - your wives /gf did it affect your relationship ??

On my first child I put on 4 stone so my whole body went to pot basically, my boobs were the only thing I could recognise afterwards, I can cope with loosing my figure all over again, as long as baby is healthy it doesnt matter but not sure wether i am ready to sacrifice the only body part that has stayed loyal to me

So do they always end up like dogs ears?????:eek:

Nevyn

What on earth to you mean like dog ears ?

If you breast feed be it direct or use a pump you will find that they do swell and get maybe a cup size bigger and when you stop they will go back to how they were before as long as you don't do any crash diets. Yes if you don't take care you can end up with stretch marks but thats life people get strech marks and there are things like bio oil out there.

Women's bodies change shape after they have a kid, esp those who are very fertile,
that doesn't mean you can't loose the weight or re tone up, it's just takes a while and finding the time can
be tricky when you are juggling so much.

Directly breastfeeding causes the womb to contract slightly as baby feeds which causes it to shrink quicker when you are post partum. Breastfeeding also uses up the fat reserved at your body puts on during pregnancy so there are two reasons for doing it to help you body get back into shape never mind boosting the baby's immune system and once you can get the knack latching baby on it's a lot less messy, less hassle and tbh cheaper.

Breast is best not just for baby but also for mothers too, that is if it is possible cos if trying to is causing huge stress it can be more harm then good.

nataliehun

Yes they will turn into "dog ears" and look south for the rest of time! im in early 20s and im distroyed...i only fed for the first 6 /8 weeks and now a year and a half on they are smaller then prepregnancy and horrible,pointing down and covered in stretch marks and i used ever oil/cream on the market at the time! (and still do!)!!! if i had another im not so sure if i would keep breastfeed...but its up to you!!! the only thing is the first couple of days has the best nutrition ever..but you know all that!!

best of luck in what u decide!!!

Nevyn

You do need to have good support bras esp feeding bras they make a huge difference.

FlexiLexi

anybody ive known to have a baby and breastfeed ends up with them slightly lower...sorry!!

Dudess

Would expressing the milk have less of an impact on the appearance of the breasts?

LadyE

Dudess wrote: »

Would expressing the milk have less of an impact on the appearance of the breasts?

I couldnt imagine so!

Dudess

Don't mind me, I haven't a clue. I just thought that the baby sucking would be more damaging than expressing, which one could do gently and would have some control over...?

marti101

Cop on if thats the only thing thats worryiny you you have an easy life.Bf is for the benefit of the baby and nothing to do with the vainness of the mother.My blood boils when i read posts like this

Toots

FlexiLexi wrote: »

anybody ive known to have a baby and breastfeed ends up with them slightly lower...sorry!!

Yes, but in fairness they're going to go downhill with age anyway! I know my sis in law breast fed her two and while she said her's are slightly saggier, it's not, quote 'fried eggs hanging on a nail'. A friend who recently stopped breastfeeding has said the same, although her description wasn't so....vivid. As Theadydal said, a good supportive nursing bra is essential. Also bio oil or similar, and start using it now, as it'll keep your skin flexible as your breasts swell, and help maintain elasticity which will mean less sagging when you stop feeding. There's no point starting to use it after you have given birth, as your breasts will already have increased in size in the later stages of pregnancy. Also don't go on any mad crash diets after you've had the baby, because what'll happen is that you'll be losing weight too fast and your skin won't be able to go back into shape fast enough to keep up, which is another way you can end up with saggy boobs and excess skin on your tummy. Take it slow and steady and you should be ok! Good luck with the baby!!

Dudess

marti101 wrote: »

Cop on if thats the only thing thats worryiny you you have an easy life.Bf is for the benefit of the baby and nothing to do with the vainness of the mother.My blood boils when i read posts like this

Maybe if there wasn't so much pressure put on women to look perfect, otherwise no man will want them/their man will leave them (sentiments regularly expressed on this very website - and by women, not just men) the OP wouldn't have started the thread.

Also, no matter how un-superficial we think we are, it's not easy to say goodbye to our body looking its best. I would imagine it's quite upsetting for some women.

Toots85 wrote: »

Yes, but in fairness they're going to go downhill with age anyway!

I don't know if I'd agree with that Toots. What age? 35? 50? A good bra can do wonders to fight the destruction of time. If you look after your bust you can have a fabulous cleavage into your 40s.

LegacyUser

aged 35 I had my first (and only!) child. Nursed him for 18 months. Breast size increased dramatically when the milk came in, 3 days after birth but back to normal when finished

MJOR

Dudess wrote: »

Don't mind me, I haven't a clue. I just thought that the baby sucking would be more damaging than expressing, which one could do gently and would have some control over...?

that is exactly what i thought...

Hrududu

Cop on if thats the only thing thats worryiny you you have an easy life.Bf is for the benefit of the baby and nothing to do with the vainness of the mother.My blood boils when i read posts like this

Ah I just love when someone brings personal baggage to an issue and uses it to climb up on their high horse.

Different women will have different experiences.

marti101

I dont have any baggage but am an avid breastfeeder so threads like this are innane.Your breasts were put there for feeding baby

the glass woman

Thaedydal i was just curious as to what you meant by women's bodies changing 'especially if they're very fertile'?

LegacyUser

I think if your are lucky enough to be able to bf well go for it. It works wonders for the waist line. I bf both mine and I think my boobs are in good shape. Mind you they are not where they used to be but whose are at nearly 40? Your body changes over the years anyway and you can do very little to chage that. When bf it is a good idea to use vit e or bio oil on your skin as it will help prevent stretch marks. But don't forget to avoid the nipple area where baby will be sucking. You could also try some upper body exercise to keep them firm. Good lick what ever you decide.

pookie82

marti101 wrote: »

I dont have any baggage but am an avid breastfeeder so threads like this are innane.Your breasts were put there for feeding baby

And although you may not like it, women now have a choice as to whether or not they breast feed. Asking if it'll make their breasts age prematurely is a fair enough question to me. You may not care what yours look like but some women will - live with it.

And by the way, it's spelt "inane". Or were you going for "insane"?

Wibbs

OK its a miserable day out so no need to let it get miserable hereabouts

pookie82

Wibbs wrote: »

OK its a miserable day out so no need to let it get miserable hereabouts

Does this mean I was bold????

Wibbs

Not just you. I don't want this derailed with off topic bickering. Any other issue take it to PM or feedback.

Knee-Vee

Breastfeeding does not necessarily mean that your boobs will be 'destroyed'.

I have no kids, but my mam had six, breastfed five and her breasts and figure are not much different to when she married 23 years ago, apart from being a little looser.

So, don't worry about it. Make sure you have a decent nursing bra and use something like bio-oil. And whether or not you decide to bf, the bra is important anyway. Always buy the best ones you can afford.

Redpunto

You wont know how itll affect your body until after you stop feeding so you just need to make the choice as weigh up how important it is to breast feed the baby and risk your body changing. I found the pregnancy part affected my body much more than the breastfeeding. Just do what youre most comfortable with, as long as youre happy then the baby and the other 2 kids will be happy and thats take precedence over being fretty and anxious while breastfeeding.

Dreamer 7

Thanks for all the replies I saw one of those makeover programmes with before and after boobs which made my eyes water ! I'm only 26 so hope I have a few good years left in them!

Still undecided as my other two have grown up happy and healthy without thank god but with my wedding day 8 months later the midwife advised this could be my liposuction

Redpunto

Bit of a warning, even though breastfeeding does use up loads of calories you then have to up your calorie intake to be able to breastfeed so i never lost weight until i stopped breastfeeding and my food intake came down.

Victor

We all get older and from age 20 on putting on weight can be easy. I would suspect breastfeeding reduces body weight much better than not breastfeeding and therefore improves appearance.

The only difference I've seen with mothers who have breastfed (admittedly I wasn't taking precise details and a before and after wasn't always available) was more with the nipple than the breast.

marti101

pookie82 wrote: »

And although you may not like it, women now have a choice as to whether or not they breast feed. Asking if it'll make their breasts age prematurely is a fair enough question to me. You may not care what yours look like but some women will - live with it.

And by the way, it's spelt "inane". Or were you going for "insane"?

Actually i was bf when i wrote that so i was typing with one hand.I know people have a choice and actually my boobs dont look to bad after bf 3 kids

pookie82

marti101 wrote: »

Actually i was bf when i wrote that so i was typing with one hand.I know people have a choice and actually my boobs dont look to bad after bf 3 kids

Good for you. That was your decision and you got lucky in not losing your previous breast shape in the process. But it doesn't make you a bad mother to ask around about such things.

A cousin of mine breastfed for a while (she had to stop for other reasons) and she maintains that it ruined her breasts and that they haven't been the same since. There does tend to be a "droop" effect with a lot of women afterwards. Some I've heard of have even, like one of the posters here, shrunk smaller than their original pre-pregnancy size coupled with extra droop. So that's something to consider if you're concerned OP.

chump

Someone should post before and after pics and let the public decide.

Also is it true you can make your breasts lactate by squeezing them a lot even if you aren't pregnant/just gave birth?

Also what does breast milk taste like - is it an acquired taste?

OP, my advice is, live and let live.

Nevyn

chump Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Nevyn

Dudess wrote: »

Don't mind me, I haven't a clue. I just thought that the baby sucking would be more damaging than expressing, which one could do gently and would have some control over...?

There is a range of stumuli which a breast pump will not supply and the 'let down' is just not the same, breast feeding is in my experience a lot gentler process then expressing even with a hand pump.

the glass woman wrote: »

Thaedydal i was just curious as to what you meant by women's bodies changing 'especially if they're very fertile'?

The hips drop more and the overall body shape rounds more.

Dreamer 7 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies I saw one of those makeover programmes with before and after boobs which made my eyes water ! I'm only 26 so hope I have a few good years left in them!

See that bit in bold that is the issue, they are always going to show the worst case scenario on shows like that. Personally I despise the new mommy make overs which are happening in the usa and starting to spread here.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2007/10/04/plastic_moms/?aim=yahoo-salon&source=rss

Plastic mommies

A New York Times piece today delved into yet another slash-and-suck attempt to exploit women's vulnerabilities. Apparently plastic surgeons are now packaging a bunch of procedures that seek to remedy those tubby tummies and droopy boobs characteristic of some postpartum bodies. Marketed as "mommy jobs" or "mommy makeovers," the bundle of procedures involves some combination of liposuction, tummy tucks, breast lifts and perhaps implants. Although offering plenty of free advertising to participating plastic surgeons, the Times' Natasha Singer rightly focuses on the larger issues implied by the phenomenon: how narrowing definitions of beauty are "recasting the transformations of motherhood as stigma."

It's also, according to some participating cosmetic surgeons, a damn shrewd way to make an extra buck off extra procedures. Singer quotes the Web site of a father-and-son team that criticizes the "mommy makeover" packages as "clever marketing" in which "a woman seeking a tummy tuck, although not particularly concerned about the appearance of her breasts, may be influenced to have breast surgery just because it is part of 'the package.'"

Of course, those making a pretty penny off carving up women's bodies frame the mommy makeover as a happy alternative for unhappy women. "Twenty years ago, a woman did not think she could do something about it and she covered up with discreet clothing," David A. Stoker said. "But now women don't have to go on feeling self-conscious or resentful about their appearance."

As someone whose postpartum curves would make a prime scalpel target for this sort of barbarity, let me just say I resent such comments about self-consciousness and resentment. I'd rather have another C-section or two (to fully comprehend the gruesome meaning of this, one need only imagine a pony keg filling with blood from a tube in my guts, not that you asked!). For me, the advent of the mommy makeover is dismaying because motherhood has offered many of us an escape hatch from self-consciousness. Suddenly your body, after decades of experiencing its value as societal eye candy, transcends culture. It becomes food, furniture; it makes a life. That women are now paying to cut those vestiges from their bodies -- to erase that history -- seems not only self-loathing but misanthropic as well.

-- Carol Lloyd

It's so prevelant that there is a book called my beautiful mommy to explain to children why mommy is sore after surgery and can't lift them and hug them.
http://blogs.webmd.com/cosmetic-surgery/uploaded_images/plastic-surgery-mommy-beautiful-wide-horizontal-723814.jpg

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4232009.stm

The survey found 86% of new mothers said they felt more attractive before pregnancy and 82% said they were unhappy with their shape after pregnancy.

Seventy-seven per cent said they had been "shocked" by the changes to their body.

On average, first-time mothers weighed 11st 2lbs (70.7kg). The average pre-pregnancy weight was 10st 2lbs (64.4kg) - but women wanted to weigh around 9st 5lbs (59.4kg).

'Yummy mummies'

Women said childbirth radically changed their bodies, altering the stomachs, arms, legs, breasts and bottoms - and not for the better.

Two thirds of women said they thought about their shape every day, whatever their current size.

Sixty per cent said they believed they would be happier if they could improve their bodies.

Those who were considering cosmetic surgery said they would be most likely to opt for liposuction, tummy tucks or breast enlargements.

However, 94% of the men questioned by the magazine said they found their partners just as attractive as they had before.

IS the fact that a woman's body changes after she has given birth that surprising really ?
Has what a woman looks like been completely replaced in all our minds by model types ?

Yes it's your body, your boobs you have to choose what you want to do with them, but life is change and our bodys change and having children is a big change on a woman's body, but I am damned if I am going to get bent out of shape about the stretch marks or altered figure, I am a mother that can be seen on my body and it's part of my life's journey.

Dreamer 7 wrote: »

Still undecided as my other two have grown up happy and healthy without thank god but with my wedding day 8 months later the midwife advised this could be my liposuction

So you are only interested in breastfeeding so you can loose weight ?
Seriously the mind boggles.

Agonist

I'd say that having gained and lost 4 stone as well as having been pregnant twice, your breasts have drooped a bit already, and breastfeeding won't have much impact.

People here are saying you have the choice to breastfeed or not. Indeed you do. The choice you are making can be summed up as follows.

Bottle feeding:
The advantages of possibly having perkier breasts?

or

Breastfeeding:
"The advantages of having a smarter, happier baby who is less likely to develop allergies and likely to avoid many infections.
Also keep in mind that for you there is a reduced risk of breast, ovarian and cervical cancers and a wonderful, enduring bond with your baby. No equipment to buy or clean and getting back in shape faster."

I hope that helps in your decision making.

Facts taken from http://www.lalecheleagueireland.com

LegacyUser

Thaedydal wrote: »

I am a mother that can be seen on my body and it's part of my life's journey.

The beauty ideal nowadays is of a young girl who has never been pregnant or given birth. But having kids is part of our womanly function.
Most women who have had kids looker older than women of the same age who don't have kids. Sleep deprivation will do this.
Don't worry about what *might* happen - everyone is different.

Nevyn

Most people guess my age as younger despite having kids, could be due to occasionally wearing pigtails when out playing with my brats but still...

Dreamer 7

I don't think i can take the risk! The were the only part of my body not to be streched beyond imagination from preganacies so god i don't know. it has helped hearing advice from both sides though, i know it great for baby but the selfish little voice in me says what about me??
Having a permanenet muffin top is one thing but eggs on a nail too! Don't think I'd cope!!

Wibbs

I know that for a woman her looks are so important to how she sees herself. Your partner will still love you, if not more as the mother of his child, so that's not that much a factor. Especially in this society, as others have said it's a small subset that is considered beautiful. Now that's a powerful influence and I know you'll have people down your neck shouting about "what about your baby!" etc. And I do agree with them, but I can also see why this would put pressure on you from both sides, especially at an already emotional time.

My advice as a non breasticled bloke? Age will change us all. Sooner or later your boobs or my belly will go south. If I hastened that by giving the best start to my child I would say sod it. Every part of it would be worth it.

Consider every stretch mark and muffin roll as a reminder of how good a woman, partner and mother you are.

Nevyn

The muffin top is something you can work on, you will need to retrain and retone the muscles which be come streched and then lax, it can be done.

barbiegirl

Dreamer 7 don't be pressurized into going one way or the other, go with what feels right for you. Everyone has an opinion and you will be subjected to it, but ignore it all and decide what works for you and your family.
To be honest my boobs are very important to my self image, that self image will change when I have kids, but will it change enough for me not to care of my boobs go south, I don't know yet. Plus I don't think it automatically damages the boobs, I think genetics and looking after them play a role.
Remember happy mum equals happy baby. Mum who hates how she looks, or is unhappy does not lead to a happy baby.