101 Online dateing

LegacyUser

Hey Recently ive decied that id like to meet go on dates and meet some women. Due to circumstances i think dateing online may be easer...

So if any one has any experence about whats good and whats bad in dates creating a profile etc... would be great..

My idea it being like a cv and covering letter sell your self ? or how should it be done ?

thanks for any advice...

SarahSassy

The best thing to do is to read plenty of other profiles, take what you like from them and re-word and add to your own..

Best advice is to be honest, dont pretend to look like George Clooney if you dont and keep it light-hearted.

Good luck

SS

PS dont forget to spell check it

RedXIV

Show your sense of humour and, this is the hard part, sell yourself without sounding arrogant. that means if you are an amazing guitarist, you say, you enjoy playing guitar

Also, don't judge by photos, most of the time, they don't give a good idea what people look like.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, (and anyone else who might have an interest in this) I recently started online dating and its the best decision I've made in a long time! Bar one relationship and a few small flings etc, I have been single forever almost, but I;ve delved into the world of online dating and I have not looked back!

I tried a few of the paid services but did not find them any good. The only one I recommend is: Facebook!

Get onto facebook and search for a few of the dating applications: Hot or Not, Are you Interested, Flirtable, Meet New People, but my favourite is Zoosk.

Get a GOOD photo of yourself. Even dress up nice and get someone to take a few photos until you get on looking your best. Put a few photos up if possible.

I think online dating is great cause it is really open, honest and direct. Everyone knows what's really going on, no bullsh1t. I'm crap at chatting up women in clubs, but it turns out that I'm pretty good at the online thing! Read some stuff by Ross Jeffries or David Deangelo if you need help. Oh and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss - highly recommended:
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738

When contacting them, make it personal, friendly but keep it brief, no essay's. Be interested in them and share stuff about yourself. Its a numbers game, you have to spend time with it, it took me a good few weeks before I started getting any conversations going. Get MSN and get chatting to them on that - or email at least. Be direct and ask questions about themselves, their lives, their interests. Ask questions and then get them to ask questions about you. Really share and get to know each other.

One thing though - do not wait too long before meeting up. Sometimes you build a picture in your head of a person and they are not the same when you meet them.

Just be yourself and make sure they are going to like you for who you are. Lying and building yourself up is never going to work in the long run.

Best of luck OP. Really give this a go, it may take time but it is worth it. From my own perspective, I have come from rarely getting with girls at all just a few months ago, to right now I am 'dating' two different girls, and am arranging dates with two more for the next few weeks, and still in the chatting stage with several others. This coming from almost never being on a date in my life, is a MASSIVE turnaround for me. I also had sex for the first time in a VERY long time which has helped my confidence no end.

Any more questions fire ahead I'm happy to help.

Focus on what you do want. Don't rant about the things you that turn you off.

Talliesin

I haven't used them, but I can comment from gripes by friends who do about what they find a turn-off.

Don't have no photograph if the site you are using allows for them.

Don't have a very short profile that says nothing.

Don't leave free-text areas blank.

Don't send "interested" notices to people who are clearly not a match to what they are looking for from what they say about themselves. The Spammy approach will just annoy people, which will then blow your chances of something coming out of a less formal situation (such as if the site in question has a forum area).

Loopy

Go for it OP. My brother has met an amazing girl through online dating.

Be honest in your profile and humorous..

Good luck..

MJOR

I met my current boyfriend (soon to be husband):cool:thru it. It's excellent. I must admit we were both very honest and straight up.

I think we were very lucky. I had gone on a few dates some good some disatrous...

Be open and honest about everything. A good sense of humour will draw someone to you.

Don't take it too seriously have fun and you never know....

LegacyUser

thansk for the help so far..

.
I am farley striaght up with people so thats not hard makeing my self sound interesting. now thats hard part i dont no what to say in my profile.. its soooooooo hard.. Im really crap with opening up convos on the net, because i dont no how to inishate them to i throw n complament or do i just say hi how are you ? these are the things i do find toughist, my self.. But its a challange which is good ...


dateingguy

how the hell do you get them to ask questions about you?

other then that im shore ive got some other questions i can ask....in the not so near future

but thanks so far..

BubbleWrap85

Hi! I've tried online dating and whilst I haven't found a boyfriend or anything out of it, I've chatted to a few cool people! Obviously you'll meet your weirdos but nothing [so far] out of the ordinary!

Tips for filling in your profile [some of which have been mentioned already]
SMILE in your photo! [And defo include at least 2 photos, I tend to think that someone with just 1 is a fake!]
Fill in the boxes as required with information - any genuine girl isn't going to reply to an empty profile [I wouldn't anyway!]
Don't message a girl with a message like "Wow you're hot" and nothing else. I don't reply to those messages because to me they say "Automated! He sends them to everyone!"
Definitley show your sense of humour.
Don't admit your faults or things that you don't like about yourself. I think that's my problem. I'm too honest that way. That's information that they can find out after a few dates!

Good luck.

SarahSassy

onlinedateing wrote: »

thansk for the help so far..

.
I am farley striaght up with people so thats not hard makeing my self sound interesting. now thats hard part i dont no what to say in my profile.. its soooooooo hard.. Im really crap with opening up convos on the net, because i dont no how to inishate them to i throw n complament or do i just say hi how are you ? these are the things i do find toughist, my self.. But its a challange which is good ...


dateingguy

how the hell do you get them to ask questions about you?

other then that im shore ive got some other questions i can ask....in the not so near future

but thanks so far..

Note to you - check your spelling, punctuation and text speak before you post / mail anyone. In the early stages of mailing someone online it would put me off to get emails I find hard to read no matter how nice the guy is.

mbren

Hey OP,

I have been doing online dating for a good while now. All i'd say when your writing a profile is, write a good bit about yourself, your interests and hobbies etc and try and make it humourous. Remember, there are loads of people on these websites so try and make your profile one to stand out...that way, you will get responses ;-) Best of luck with it anyway, hope it goes well

Flamed Diving

Avoid parship.co.uk. I tried them and it was absolute rubbish, they kept suggesting profiles that hadn't logged on in six months. I just started headed out again and making more effort and I have been doing alright for myself on the scoring front, although I meet loads of eejits that way which was the whole point of trying the dating site. anyway, best of luck with it!

BubbleWrap85

Can I just say, I'm on okcupid [which is quite fun but I don't get many messages, probably filters the messers!] and plentyoffish [of which I'm currently talking to quiet a nice guy and intend meeting him soon]. I'm not using online dating because I can't score in real life. I can go out most w/ends and score, it's just I'm scoring the wrong fellas! So I figured this way, it gives an opportunity to see what the other persons personality is like! I'm quite outgoing & probably don't need to be on a dating site, but I like talking to people & getting to know them

Regards filling in your profile, try to have at least one photo up or if you message someone attach a photo as I usually don't reply to anyone without a photo. As said already, fill in as much info re: likes/dislikes/interests etc as this is the chance for people who have common interests to get in touch with you. Best of luck

Flamed Diving

While we are on the topic, did anyone ever start chatting to a person on a dating site, found them to be really nice and funny, etc. But then when you revealed each others pictures to one another, you found you didn't find them physically attractive? I used to feel fierce guilty then because I found them attractive due to their messages, but suddenly I see their pic and I lose interest. It made me feel like I was shallow, but at the same time, unless you find someone physically attractive then there is not much you can do, is there? Anyway, just a random thought from my experiences.

BubbleWrap85

I have felt the same! I'm sure they've felt the same about me too lol Even by swapping pictures and the likes, I thought things were going really well with this guy and then we met and he lost all interest! So don't get any hopes up until you actually meet as people can often look a bit different in photos! Also some people don't communicate very well through text & so phone calls can sometimes be a better option if you've been chatting for a while, to see what they're like!

LegacyUser

I met a fantastic woman on okcupid.com (free by the way). She's really smart, interesting incredibly pretty, is of a very sane disposition, yet amazingly... is very much into me.

In terms what to write, just compose your first draft completely honestly. Then go back and edit, re-edit to make it more humorous, original etc. Be tactful, you might be being honest if you put "fatties need not apply", but it's a surefire way of turning pretty much everybody off. Make sure all your grammar, spelling/punctuation is correct. Have a look at other people's profile, and see what catches your attention, then adapt it for your gender.

If on okcupid, no need to pay too much attention to the match %. Myself and my gf were only a 60% match. We went through why this was, and it appeared (according to the match questions) that we had entirely different ideas of what to expect in terms of a sex-life from a relationship. Well, let's say that turned out to be anything but the case.

Don't feel bad if you don't get a response from someone, it's a rather common. For your own mental health don't ever obsess about anyone, for your own success try never to come across as needy. Remember it's about getting a date, so don't be pulled into a drawn out correspondance that's going nowhere (where either you or her build up a fantasy hope). In saying that don't go asking for a date immediately either, let a couple of mails be exchanged first, and gauge interest etc.

Lastly, it's all a bit of fun. Enjoy yourself, and don't take it too seriously good luck

ApeXaviour

Flamed Diving wrote: »

While we are on the topic, did anyone ever start chatting to a person on a dating site, found them to be really nice and funny, etc. But then when you revealed each others pictures to one another, you found you didn't find them physically attractive? I used to feel fierce guilty then because I found them attractive due to their messages, but suddenly I see their pic and I lose interest. It made me feel like I was shallow, but at the same time, unless you find someone physically attractive then there is not much you can do, is there? Anyway, just a random thought from my experiences.

That's not a nice situation to end up in. Better not let it happen in the first place. i.e. if they didn't have a picture, I wouldn't start chatting to them.

Some of the funniest women I've ever met irl are usually quite large. I don't think I'm shallow because I want to spend time in their company, but not date them, it's an unhealthy state to be in, and hence they've low biological fitness.

If you found this girl intellectually attractive then you're not shallow. I'm sure similarly you wouldn't want to date a stunner who was boring idiot with anger issues, now would you? Shallowness is disregarding the personality entirely.

JuliusCaesar

HI, on plentyoffish (which is free) there's a forum where you can get feedback on your profile and how to improve it.

Make sure to send out LOADS of messages to make contact with people. Send out 25 and you'll be doing well to get 5 back.

Send something in the initial email that will help them reply, maybe a question about where they live or something to expand on what they said in their profile.

Bear in mind that photos are not people! People often turn out to be different when you see them moving, speaking, reacting, dancing!

towel401

I find the users on facebook are the most paranoid and unfriendly crowd on the whole interweb. They are just there for people they already know but they will happily add you to their list so they can appear more popular to their friends but once ya start talking to them they will unfriend you. because they don't like talking to strangers and they're easily scared.

maybe the applications can change that though

TheDriver

PLenty of fish is a great site, I concur! Be honest, met some great girls from it and give it a serious try, don't just run home from the date and see who's next, work on a girl if you think shes nice.

boarddotie

Flamed Diving wrote: »

While we are on the topic, did anyone ever start chatting to a person on a dating site, found them to be really nice and funny, etc. But then when you revealed each others pictures to one another, you found you didn't find them physically attractive? I used to feel fierce guilty then because I found them attractive due to their messages, but suddenly I see their pic and I lose interest. It made me feel like I was shallow, but at the same time, unless you find someone physically attractive then there is not much you can do, is there? Anyway, just a random thought from my experiences.

O yes, happened to me just yesterday. Im always wary of getting in contact with the 'no photo' fellas but I said I would try and be less shallow but eventually I did end up asking for a photo. he sent on his bebo site and suddenly I wasnt interested which was such a dissapointment. But at least we found out early I suppose (still felt guilty though!)

Defo include a photo because, even if you think you are average, there will DEFINITELY be girls who think you are just their type! So you will get more response with a pic then w/o, im sure of that even if you are not 100% comfortable with how you look. Its always nice to put a face to the email and if that is not done straight away, the other person may just end up dissapointed.

And when you are chatting in emails ask questions about the other person, dont just answer what the original question, keep the communication flowing becuase there is nothing worse than the person you are emailing having to keep coming up with the questions.

Defo avoid 'hun, 'pet' and 'love', im emailing someone who uses these at the mo and im really at the end of my tether with that!!

LegacyUser

hey

its me... a bit of an update.

Find it hard to get on with some people. or just nothing there, have had the none picture user
twice one was lovely to talk to sadly she didnt take care of her self at all, so i lost interest.
then had another user who had no pic but I've grown weary of this and asked why she dont have no pics she sent me two, dont know if aything will come off it and dont expect it to

meet this other girl who i feel we have a lot more in comon. weve been sending a few mails threw bebo which is cool and we seem to have a similer mentality which is cool I could talk to her and feel comfortable holding a conversation with her. I meet another girl who was really attractive, really nice, but she just came across as a bit of a head melter.....and i said something in a piss taking way and she never replied... lol

the one thing that gets me is the opening male which im still working on .

and i meet this really cool chick form seatle and swoped msn's aand i might be in canada next year so where going to meet up ...

But being honest its a strange place to be.....but shore its an experence no dates yet...

A lot off ignorance out there to but hey finding some one is like paning for gold i guess