What would you think, what would you do?

LegacyUser

Met a girl online, chatted for a while, went on a date and had a brillaint time, totally hit it ooff had brillaint night, she said it was the best first date she had ever been on! Texted and talked lots that week, went on 2nd date next weekend, again had great fun, slept together, sex was really good. Saw her the next night briefly too. We were both busy so did not see eachother the next week, but talked every few days.... I talked to her once and also spoke to her friend who told me she had been talking all about me, how sexy I was and how I'm a really nice guy - so everything was looking great!

I had arranged a date for thursday - just dinner, and we were going to also be meeting on town on Sat. But on wed she canclled Thursday, cause she wanted to see a friend that night so she could spend all of sat with me - no problem. Sat came round, I was in town she was going to come in and meet me, but she had to stop into that friends leaving party "just got show her face for 30 mins" and then join me. Several houts later, nothing. I texted and called, eventually got hold of her, went to other side of town to pick her up and bring her back to my party - she brought a friend with her. It was a friends party in a nighclub she used to work in. I got them into the club for free, got them cocktails, introduced them to my friends whi were all very friendly and told me they thought she was cool. All was going fine until I went to get more drinks. Came back, they were gone. Called and texted, later got a reply saying "Sorry babe we had to leave my friend had to go" - I did not reply.

I tried calling the next night, did not leave a message, just a missed call. I have heard nothing since.

I'm pissed she would do that. I can't understand why.

There are only 2 small things I can think of that might be a reason:

1) When on a date I like to look after my lady and make her feel special - isn't that what girls like? It how I like to do it anyway. She originally told me she liked how I noticed and remembered the little things - but later almost gave out to me because of the fact that I like to go to nice palces and know people so get in for free etc.

2)Also, on our first date, we were both incredibly drunk having a great time, and she had it in her head for some reason that I was throw out of the club we were in. I am not the type of guy to get thrown out of a club - so despire being very drunk and can;t remember some fo the end of the night - I denied it - (we were joking about it with her friend) she seems to be totally un-impressed about the fact that I was Not thrown out. Weird I know.

Anyway, I did like this girl and was hoping we would see some more of eachother. I'm really confused as I showed her a great time and looked after her really well whenever we were together. Do you think maybe this was my downfall in a strange way?

Comments appreciated
Thanks

AngryBadger

Eh......headmelt?

I dunno man, sounds odd. Personally if I brought someone to a party and spent the night filling them with drink and suddenly they just dissappeared I'd just write them off. Also, if she was planning to spend all of saturday with you, how did you wind up carting her friend around?

Don't wanna be nasty, but it sounds to me like you were being milked man. And maybe she thought you were a soft touch so she'd get away with leaving like that.

Also, what kind of muppet is dissappointed because you weren't thrown out of a nightclub, and complains because you know people, and like to go to "nice" places.

Chalk it up to experience OP, I can't think of any excuse that would make me give someone like this another chance.

Talliesin

MrDater wrote: »

I can't understand why.

Yeah. I can't understand why someone who I'm not deeply familiar with did something either.

It's hard enough to work out why people one knows very well do things. Hell it's hard to work out ones own motives sometimes.

There's little sense trying to read much into what someone does until you know enough about how they normally behave to have a background to judge the behaviour against.

LadyE

I agree with angry badger on all his points.

Id walk away - forget about her.

Miss Fluff

Don't think Mystic Meg would be able to give you reasons why on this one OP so no point in trying to analyse where you went wrong, if at all. Sounds like you behaved well to be honest although bringing her friend as a wing-man on a supposed date doesn't bode well. I wouldn't bother with calls or texts. If she likes you she'll be in touch tbh. Imo, it was EXTREMELY bad manners to leave the club without having the common courtesy of saying thanks and goodbye at least.

MIN2511

tbh dude, the word dating is really complicated...
Whats works for goose doesn't work for gander, i have been in situations recently that has made me wonder about the whole scene. It's very confusing, you never know the person or what/who they want

Chalk it up as experience, don't hold your breadth waiting for her to ring/text you move on...

Wurly

She's taking the p1ss OP.

She sounds like a user.

Plenty of nice girls out there. This girl is not one of them.

Better to have found out now than later. Move on imo.

Stevecw

Shes not worth wrecking your head over. Ok ye might have got on great etc, but it seems shes not on for it anymore. Really rude to walk out on you like that on Sat night. Worse again is the fact that on Tues night you still haven't heard from her.
Move on forget about her. She can't be worth it, if she treats you like that.

RedXIV

Dunno OP, I wouldn't be too impressed with that.

Now depending on how well you did actually get on, i would take two different courses of action. If you REALLY hit it off, i'd wait a bit, maybe this was a mess up on her part that she realises was a mess up. I'd be a lot more unforgiving in future but i wouldn't write her off just yet.

If you just had a bit of fun, it's not worth fighting for.

Now plenty of people may say, how could you possibly get over the way she treated you but we don't know the full story, it's actually possible there may be a chance to get over this, your call mate, you know her better than the rest of us.

Either way, best of luck

Red

geminilady

i wouldnt be impressed with her attitude at all, so you got her drinks for the night and then you didnt hear any word.
I wouldnt call/text her again, see if she calls you, but i think mostly you should forget about her. Plenty of other girls that will appreciate your good qualities out there. Good luck

leesmom

forget her op, no girl worth anything would treat a guy she liked in that way. u sound waay too good for her, any girl would be lucky to have u , she does not deserve a guy treatin her so wonderfully when she decides to be a rude cow

SarahSassy

She is a muppet and dont let it change the way you treat other girls.. Mark this 'wan' down to a bad experience and look forward to all the other nice ladies you are yet to meet

Loopy

I agree with SarahSassy, leave it now OP.

She was un-impressed that you weren't thrown out of the club WTF:rolleyes:

Lots of lovely gals out there that will appreciate you and how you treat them..

How Strange

OP, from a woman's perspective it seems she just wasn't as in to you as you were her. Firstly, bringing a friend on a third date is never a good omen.
Secondly, she kept you waiting on the saturday night, so much so you had to go and collect her. Then you got her and her friend into the club for free and bought them drinks before they ditched you.
Finally, there is issue of her being annoyed at you NOT being thrown out of a club. Honestly, wtf is that about? Is she 14 or something because that's so childish it's incredible. Even the part about her friend telling you over the phone that she thought you were so sexy and hasn't stopped taking about you etc either sounds very contrived or very immature.

Unfortunately OP, it seems she saw a meal ticket for a Saturday night for her and her friend and nothing more. I know if I was on a 3rd date with a guy what I was made into I wouldn't keep him waiting and I most definitely wouldn't bring a friend.

I'd say in future don't set yourself up as the guy who pays for everything as IMO this attracts the freeloaders. If you want to bring her out for dinner on the first date then do but after that let her pay her way too on a night out.

As for this girl, I'd say forget her and look forward to meeting someone much more genuine.

MistyCheese

So, she doesn't like that you go to "nice" places and was annoyed that she had made a mistake and you weren't thrown out of a club?

Sounds like she wanted a quote/unquote "bad boy" and was disappointed that you were not that. More fool her. If that's what she's looking for she will no doubt find it - and no doubt regret it.

stovelid

Disappearing without a word or text should be grounds for dismissal, even before you consider the other stuff, OP.

Forget her and put it down to experience.

Wagon

Looks like she was just using you for a few shags and some booze, and she was also a good actor. Exact same thing happened to me too. Sorry man Avoid her.

MJOR

Jeez she is harder to work out than a suduko puzzle after five bottles of merlot...

I don't know what to say except maybe she is a bit of a loonbag....

Good riddance!

Sugar Drunk

sounds like an immature idiot who likes "bad boys" and thinks its "cool" if a guy is sexy and gets thrown out of clubs. She also has no manners at all. Plenty of girls would be thrilled to be treated that well and would actually appreciate it. You tried, you rang her now leave it to her and see if ahe rings back. if not forget about her its her loss shes just too immature to see that

MistyCheese

sounds like an immature idiot who likes "bad boys"

That's what I said.

STUBBORNGIRL

To be honest Op I think you are so better off away from this girl. She sounds like bad news. I don’t get this world – im looking for a guy just like you (not one that pays for everything but someone who treats women well) then there are women like her wrecking your head and making you think that all women are like that.

I have been messed about by all the guys that I have ever been with and to be honest I now have had about enough of guys! It is those guys that are making it hard for nice guys like you to be appreciated! I honestly can say that if a guy was nice to me now I would think that there was something wrong! I would run a mile so you never know maybe this girl is taking you for a ride – then again maybe she genuinely thinks you are too good to be true and is running from you. It’s a hard one to call! Either way you don’t need people like her messing with your head.

She is so not worth it! Forget about her ( I know easier said than done but just walk away from it all. Bigger fool her for letting you slip away!

If there is one thing I have learned in this hard cruel life, it is, Never settle for second best !! J

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

mbren

That is a classic example of women head-fcuking guys!! Forget about her!

BubbleWrap85

That sucks. To think that you were getting on so well & then she treats you like that. You sound like a lovely fella & any girl would be lucky to have you! I don't get the whole unimpressed that you weren't thrown out thing either! Also, it's one thing bringing her friend if you have friends around as well, but not if she's meant to be meeting you on her own. Really bad form on her part for leaving without even saying thanks & goodnight, and particularly because she hasn't contacted you since.

Argh as Stubborn Girl said, you're just the type of fella I [and lots of girls!] are looking for, and here this wan is treating you like that! I'd say forget about her & she doesn't seem to have even common courtesy to get in touch with you & let you know what the story is [never mind her previous antics!].

Madame Razz

OP just forget about her, honestly, put your energy into moving forwards and forget about what happened.

It sounds like she was completely milking you. I am sorry; women like that give the rest of us a bad name. They dont deserve men like you, but ironically enough they usually end up with guys like you!!

You sound like a very decent guy who knows how to treat a lady.....I wish there were a few more men like you where I live.

Don't dwell on it. You will meet somebody who appreciates your efforts, I promise you!!;)

AARRRGH

I'd bet money there is another lad involved somewhere... either someone back on the scene or someone she met between dates.

Anyway, she's being disrespectful, so forget and move on.