Charter - Don't Panic

takola

Welcome to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Forum, Home to all things related to “The Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy”. The most holy, remarkable book in the whole of the known universe.

Because of various conflicting conclusions drawn by the different sciences as to the nature of space time, the only conclusion that can be reached at this time is that space and time are not actually curved but are completely bent and therefore the following rules must be observed within this forum and these its threads.

1. No Personal Abuse
It is well documented that since cures have been found for most forms of injury and illness, people are generally given to abusing one another because A. Some people like to dish out personal abuse and B. For something to do. Although this is acceptable in the more relaxed sectors of the galaxy, it is completely beyond the pale here. Resorting to personal abuse here for any reason whatsoever will result in being forcibly read Vogon Poetry (Banned for a week). Persistence in dishing out personal abuse will result in an all expenses paid trip to the Frogstar where you will enjoy a luxurious one second in the total perspective vortex, The most savage psychic torture the mind can endure. (Yes, that is a permanent ban)

2. No off-topic posts
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the topic of off-topic posting: Space travel has nothing to do with rainbows. Restaurants have nothing to do with galactic taxation. Hyper Mathematics has nothing to do with safety pins. Psychiatry has nothing to do with fairy cake… and so on
To summarise, don’t under any circumstances post entries which have little or nothing to do with the original topic. (See above) To summarise the summary people should stick to the original subject of the thread. To summarise the summary of the summary people are a problem.

3. No Advertising/spamming
Advertising/Spamming will result in you having something so pointlessly hideous done to you that you will wish you had never been conceived. Or if you’re a clearer minded thinker, this forum had never been conceived. All spam/advertising posts will be removed irrespective of how many times you try it and you will end up feeling like you are trying to get a drink out of a Vogon. (Repeat offenders see penalties for personal abuse).

4. Text Speak
The development of language in all civilisations has been a long and arduous process, what with the whole “coming down from the trees” bit. Therefore it would be seen as an affront to language development as a whole to use txt spk as it undermines galactic linguistic practices. In other words, Don’t use it!

5. Trolling
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Should you choose to troll the forum, a report will be signed in triplicate, sent in, queried, sent back, subjected to public enquiry, lost, found, lost again and finally buried in soft peat for 6 months and recycled as firelighters. All while waiting for your ban to be lifted. That being said, this is by no means a guarantee that your ban will be lifted at all.

6. Arguing with a mod in thread
Judicial Jeans.
The forum Moderators and his or her superiors are the only people entitled to wear judicial jeans. The wearer of said Judicial Jeans has certain rights and privileges in accordance with galactic law. It is forbidden to dispute a point or argue a decision made by a Moderator in an open topic as there are alternative methods of discussing said issues with the Moderators. (PM or take it to feedback)

Although it is well known we are required to make the following statement by galactic law. You must at all times know where your towel is.