Friend's too thin-i'm worried

LegacyUser

Title really says it all. I'm 17, going into 6th year. Been best friends with Ciara* since first year.

Over the last while, she has lost so much weight(a stone at least) and she was already petit to start with, and it's really starting to worry me. You can see her bones quite clearly(especally on her front-ribs etc) and her legs are the same size almost all the way down.

I'm about to sound really selfish here, but please-go easy.
She's my best friend-I want to help her, but I couldn't handle another person I know having an eating disorder(im not saying my friend does, but it could be a possibilty). My mum had/has one and i've grown up with it, and accepted it but it's left me not able to trust my mum at all, and we have a very strained relationship. I know my mum tried, but at times that bloody disease ruined my child hood, I don't think a child should have to udnerstand things like that so early. Although it was kept very secretive.

Really stuck right know.

Dinter

In all fairness though your mother's condition is bound to be more in your face than your best friends. Your supposed to be led by your mother and not have to take charge of her problems.

On the other hand Ciara's problems will be something for her parents and family to deal with. You're not in a position to ensure she gets the help she deserves if indeed she needs it.

If you are best friends would Ciara not have mentioned this problem to you?

It is possible for women to loose weight without having an eating disorder. How would you rate her self esteem and her own body image normally?

LegacyUser

She's never had a problem with her looks or her esteem, (everyone has something they don't like!) but she's not the self conscious type. She's always seemed happy with herself.

Oh I know it's possible to lose weight without having an eating disorder! But she's beginning to look dangerously thin. It's upsetting to look at.

In relation to her mentioning it, she hasn't mentioned anything about her weight, but from what I've seen (my opinion, not fact) a person with an eating disorder isnt open about it.

I know I sound like a right bitch, I'm not saying I don't want to help her.

Wibbs

This is a very difficult one. First off, she may not have an eating disorder. Your experience with your mum may make you more sensitive to the signs, but equally more sensitive to jumping to a conclusion too.

Let's say she has though. As you say she may not be comfortable saying to even her best mate. She may not even see it as a problem. She may even see it as an improvement.

This is a serious condition and needs to be regarded as one. She would need professional help to get through this. No question. If her weight continues to drop and others see this, then you would imagine her parents and family would see it too. If you are really concerned down the line and have any further evidence then I would mention it. I know I would if it was a mate of mine. I would also be prepared to be told where to go with myself though.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

This is a serious condition and needs to be regarded as one. She would need professional help to get through this. No question.

Trust me, I know.


Do you think I should wait for a bit and see how things pan out?