Sex in a house share

LegacyUser · 30-06-2008 6:24pm #1

Righto, I am a girl that has a boyfriend. I have rented out a roon in my house but have a bit of a dilemma. My guy comes down at the weekends(we only see each other then). Obviously we have a healthy sex life. We aren't noisy swing from the chandeliers types but we have sex everyday Fri Sat Sun.

Anyway the last girl that lived here moved out not so long ago( she was away ,ost weekends) and I now have a housemate that is more often than not going to be there at weekends.

What are your thoughts? I'm just wondering how to handle the situation.

Like we aren't as I said noisy but I'd sorta like to be able to do it when the mood takes...

Maybe I am being a looney but I'd die if I thought she knew. ( I mean obviously she knows we do but am i making sense?)

Wurly · 30-06-2008 6:45pm

Just be discreet. Less chance of her hearing then.

Plus, chances are she will have her own thing to do at the weekends so do it when she's out too.

I don't see the prob here tbh. Nearly everyone who lives in a house share has this situation.

If you are as discreet as you say then it will be fine.

MagicMarker · 30-06-2008 6:52pm

Seriously, if you don't want them to hear, then just don't make any noise. It's not rocket science. Bite your lip instead.

stovelid · 30-06-2008 7:11pm

I always found relationships (mine and others) and house-sharing a pain tbh.

sunny83 · 30-06-2008 7:21pm

I don't understand the problem? Could it not turn you on, to know you have Sex witht that guy and sh's not having. ;-)

Pherekydes · 30-06-2008 7:27pm

No problem here. Just be quiet, if it bothers you. We have a house full of kids and adult kids and it doesn't stop us.

LadyE · 30-06-2008 7:34pm

Just be discreet about it and you'll be fine, for example, if they are in, have sex on the floor or soemthing to eliminate the sounds of the bed..and dont scream

RedXIV · 30-06-2008 7:50pm

Unless she's a very naive person she's going to know you're having sex.

Keep the tv on, stereo, whatever, something that makes noise and then as said above, bite your lip.

Also, like said above, chances are she's going to have plans for the weekend also, your problem might not be as big as you thought.

Best of luck

Victor · 30-06-2008 8:02pm

Shes not there at the weekend, he's not there during the week. Whats the problem?

Once you aren't doing it at the breakfast table, she's unlikely to notice much.

_blank_ · 30-06-2008 8:03pm

What will you do if she's a screamer?

mikey1 · 30-06-2008 8:16pm

be a good girl and invite her in!:D then everybodys happy!! problem solved!! lol
she is gona hear you id bet that for sure, its somethin you will just have to live with or in her case not!! or just play it by ear and see when shes out etc. it could all work out fine!

Miss Fluff · 30-06-2008 8:29pm

It's not rocket science OP. Just be discreet and considerate and keep the noise to a minimum.

kowloon · 30-06-2008 8:35pm

Push headboard away from wall. Common courtesy.
Dispose of contraceptives cleanly and discretely.

dublinmadyoke · 30-06-2008 9:18pm

I share a rented house and I fu*ckig hate when people are having sex and are very loud. I have respect for people and wait till my housemates are gone b4 I have sex!!! nothing more annoying than people being really loud and having no respect for other housemates!

The end

seahorse · 30-06-2008 9:21pm

Be as discreet as humanly possible. Unless you took all the steps advised on this thread I think it'd be very inconsiderate of you, to be honest. I know someone who moved out of a house recently because her housemate made a regular practice of riding away as if she had the house to herself. (In my friends shoes I'd have hammered on the door and told them I wasnt into audio sex shows, but, God love her, she's not as direct as me.:))

Anti · 30-06-2008 10:24pm

It's "your" house, make as much noise as you want.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-06-2008 10:26pm

How small is the house? i shared a house with a guy & this was never an issue whenever either of us had a lady over

LegacyUser · 01-07-2008 8:05am

Thanks guys Its a three bedroom. I always put the TV on and the bed is away from the wall... I'm not a screamer or a goggler and lucky me my BOYF isn'ta grunter either.

I suppose I was just looking for peoples thoughs as none of my friends are in this situation...

It's reassuring that it doesn't seem to be a problem.. I have an ensuite so disposal isn't a problem.

I know anti its my house but i guess common courtesy rules really.

Anyway I kinda said to her last night "oh i hope the TV wasn't too loud" and she was like "nah didn't hear it at all, I am a heavy sleeper" PHEW.

I suppose I just wanted reassurance that I didn't have to abstain.

Thanks everyone....

nomorebadtown · 01-07-2008 8:48am

just compile your sex playlist, put it on a cd and blast it out whenever you get busy. i recommend glaringly obvious tunes such as "You can leave your hat on", played at full volume, at least your housemate can have a laugh/

nevaeh-2die-4 · 01-07-2008 9:04am

morto wrote: »

Righto, I am a girl that has a boyfriend. I have rented out a roon in my house but have a bit of a dilemma. My guy comes down at the weekends(we only see each other then). Obviously we have a healthy sex life. We aren't noisy swing from the chandeliers types but we have sex everyday Fri Sat Sun.

U only see each other on the weekend so he is just with you for sex?

sex 3 times a week is hardly a healthy sex life

Irishcrx · 01-07-2008 9:04am

Don't worry about it , It's part of sharing a house I live with a couple and a mate and it doesn't bother any of us, were adults why would it?...Just do your thing and relax.

barbiegirl · 01-07-2008 9:14am

Done the house share thing. You are both adults, your house mate knows sex happens. Don't be too loud, or having sex on the sofa or anything, but otherwise don't worry, it will ruin the mood completly. Relax, knowing your house mates are having sex is part and parcel of sharing.
As to only seeing the guy on the weekends, I make no comment on your relationship as I read into it that he was away during the week.
Good luck and good sex :rolleyes:

ojewriej · 01-07-2008 9:22am

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

sex 3 times a week is hardly a healthy sex life

How do you mean?

OP - don't be thinking about it to much. People have sex - sometimes you can hear them. What's a big deal?

Every sunday morning, 10 o'clock i hear upstairs neighbours having sex. When my flatmates;s boyfriend is visiting, they go to the room and I hear music being played very loud - so I know everytime when they have sex. This is the way it is when you share.

If you are that councious - as someone said, make sure the headboard is not hiiting the wall, if the bed is metal and squeaky - wd 40 is your friend. And apart from little precaustions like that, there is not much you can do.

Don't let it ruin sex for you.

LegacyUser · 01-07-2008 9:31am

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

U only see each other on the weekend so he is just with you for sex?

sex 3 times a week is hardly a healthy sex life

Well he lives at the other end of the country, so weekends are all we have and to answer your question we are engaged so nope I don't think he is with me for the sex.

Maybe I should have said that.

nevaeh-2die-4 · 01-07-2008 9:37am

morto wrote: »

Well he lives at the other end of the country, so weekends are all we have and to answer your question we are engaged so nope I don't think he is with me for the sex.

Maybe I should have said that.

Cool it just sounded as if it was booty call...

Skinfull · 01-07-2008 10:00am

dublinmadyoke wrote: »

I share a rented house and I fu*ckig hate when people are having sex and are very loud. I have respect for people and wait till my housemates are gone b4 I have sex!!! nothing more annoying than people being really loud and having no respect for other housemates!

The end

Sounds like someone is a mite bitter!

Who cares if you can hear them have sex! Who cares if they can hear you! Big deal! Chillax, no one really cares!

Just make sure its good sex and forget who can hear what!

nevaeh-2die-4 · 01-07-2008 10:03am

Just close your eyes and have a Tom Hank

LegacyUser · 01-07-2008 10:07am

nevaeh-2die-4 wrote: »

Cool it just sounded as if it was booty call...

LOL yeah it did seem as if he was just coming over to ride me senseless that is not the case

I am hoping anyway that I don't make her disturbed.

justsomebloke · 01-07-2008 10:15am

OP you do realise that chances are SHE is going to be having sex in your house as well.

Wibbs · 01-07-2008 10:32am

nevaeh-2die-4, cop on, read the charter and if this is the extent of your "wisdom", take it to After Hours. You've been warned once today. This is the final one. Any more immature silliness and you'll be taking a banning. As it is you're getting an infraction

Sugar Drunk · 01-07-2008 10:56am

RedXIV wrote: »

Unless she's a very naive person she's going to know you're having sex.

Keep the tv on, stereo, whatever, something that makes noise and then as said above, bite your lip.

Also, like said above, chances are she's going to have plans for the weekend also, your problem might not be as big as you thought.
Best of luck

exactly!. unless shes a complete moron she will expect you to be having sex with your BF. If your worried about noise turn the stereo and tv volume up. Its your house no point not having sex just because your worried she will hear! surely shes allowed to bring people back herself? Just go for it and if she hears she hears if she doesnt like it well she may get her own place then or make some noise of her own

LegacyUser · 01-07-2008 11:15am

oh yes i maen her boyfriend can stay over and they can do what they like. No problem from my side.

Sugar Drunk · 01-07-2008 11:36am

ah well then just go for it. Once your considerate like doing it in the bedroom and not at it on the couch when she comes home im sure shes fine with it. The funny thing is being the new house member im sure shes having the same sort of thoughts about bringing her own bf home.

LegacyUser · 01-07-2008 11:55am

like as i said i am not moaning minny so i reckon i should be grand.... you know yourself sugar you'd be a bit embarassed especially as we'd spend a fair bit of time in the bedroom chatting and watching telly too.... more so to give her the run of the house than anything.

When we are downstairs then we are not lapdancing or touching each other or anything like that

STUBBORNGIRL · 01-07-2008 12:22pm

Irishcrx wrote: »

Don't worry about it , It's part of sharing a house I live with a couple and a mate and it doesn't bother any of us, were adults why would it?...Just do your thing and relax.

i live with a couple and a mate aswell and we all have sex in the house but we just keep the noise down - never had a problem - as long as you aren't a screamer (which you have advised you arent) then i dont think you are going to P!ss anyone off! Sex is such a natural thing and everyone knows that when you share you have to accept this sort of thing.

Go and enjoy your sex and stop worrying:)

Sugar Drunk · 01-07-2008 1:32pm

morto wrote: »

like as i said i am not moaning minny so i reckon i should be grand.... you know yourself sugar you'd be a bit embarassed especially as we'd spend a fair bit of time in the bedroom chatting and watching telly too.... more so to give her the run of the house than anything.

god yeah totally understand I have house shared a few times and had those dodgy moments where someone comes home unexpectedly!!
it sounds like your very considerate of the other girls needs so im sure it will all go grand it just takes a few weeks to get used to someone new in the house.

mbren · 26-07-2008 1:54pm

I'd just put your duvet on the floor and have sex on that...that way there will be no noise from the bed!

Dudess · 26-07-2008 4:25pm

morto wrote: »

I'd die if I thought she knew. ( I mean obviously she knows we do but am i making sense?)

I doubt she'd expect anything else - you're in a relationship and you only see each other at weekends. I shared an apartment once which had very thin walls and creaky beds. I would make an effort to be as quiet as possible when having sex but I know I still made noise and would have been heard. However, the girl in the room next to me - whenever her boyfriend was staying (which was also only weekends) there wouldn't be so much as a peep. Not even the slightest hint of a squeak from the mattress - that to me was far more noteworthy.

Victor wrote: »

Shes not there at the weekend, he's not there during the week. Whats the problem?

She is there at the weekend. The last flatmate wasn't.

sunny83 wrote: »

I don't understand the problem? Could it not turn you on, to know you have Sex witht that guy and sh's not having. ;-)

Des wrote: »

What will you do if she's a screamer?

jsb wrote: »

OP you do realise that chances are SHE is going to be having sex in your house as well.

Exactly - I don't understand this assumption that the new girl won't be having sex.

Anti wrote: »

It's "your" house, make as much noise as you want.

I'd disagree with that, Anti - for the simple reason that sex often occurs at times when others are trying to sleep. That's the only thing that would annoy me about loud sex - if it's keeping me awake. Would you apply that if the OP was in the habit of turning on her stereo really loud in the middle of the night?

It's infuriating being woken or being kept from getting to sleep by people shagging when they can easily keep the noise down - not saying they have to be soundless, that's not always easy, but even to make an effort to stop things from getting too noisy. And that's what someone was saying earlier about people being inconsiderate when having sex, nothing to do with being "bitter", but of course naturally there had to be someone who'd make that comment - there always is :rolleyes:.

Anyway OP, it is so much nicer if you can just "let go" and make as much noise as you like but when you're sharing with someone, and particularly if it's late at night/really early in the morning, you just have to hold it in. It's not impossible, but don't worry about a small bit of noise. It's just you and your boyfriend having sex - nothing to be embarrassed about...

Sex in a house share

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