10 month old fighting his sleep

the glass woman

Hi everyone, firstly i'm typing this on my mobile so apologies in advance as i can't break the text into paragraphs..but I'll try keep it short. Basically I've a ten month old son who we trained at six months to fall asleep by himself in his cot, and everything was working out really well..until now. Now that he can stand up in his cot, he refuses to lie down once we tuck him in, give him his bottle and soother etc. Even though he's exhausted, the minute i leave the room, he jumps up, throws everything out of his cot, and then cries for them. I'm up and down the stairs for up to two hours each time, and its breaking my heart at this stage, as it happens at least three times a day. I wouldn't mind if he wasn't tired enough to go for a nap, but he's absolutely exhausted. If anyone's been through the same thing and has any tips for me, i'd be so grateful, as short of strapping him to the mattress, i'm all out of ideas! (joking of course) Thanks so much

luckat

Establish a routine and stick to it. You've already got the routine going, with the child sleeping in the same place at the same time and the same stuff going on, so this is a good start.

Place the child in bed quietly, gently and without fanfare. Just say "Good night" and leave the room immediately.

Don't go back in *unless absolutely necessary*. If it is absolutely necessary, do so *without saying a word* and in as little time as possible, and with a minimum of light.

(If you go back in for a crying and tantruming baby, it'll reward him for doing this. He'll keep on for longer - and do it more often - and he'll become completely exhausted.)

LolaDub

If you want to keep an eye on him probably the mini tv baby monitor might not be a bad idea.

DinoBot

the glass woman wrote: »

Hi everyone, firstly i'm typing this on my mobile so apologies in advance as i can't break the text into paragraphs..but I'll try keep it short. Basically I've a ten month old son who we trained at six months to fall asleep by himself in his cot, and everything was working out really well..until now. Now that he can stand up in his cot, he refuses to lie down once we tuck him in, give him his bottle and soother etc. Even though he's exhausted, the minute i leave the room, he jumps up, throws everything out of his cot, and then cries for them. I'm up and down the stairs for up to two hours each time, and its breaking my heart at this stage, as it happens at least three times a day. I wouldn't mind if he wasn't tired enough to go for a nap, but he's absolutely exhausted. If anyone's been through the same thing and has any tips for me, i'd be so grateful, as short of strapping him to the mattress, i'm all out of ideas! (joking of course) Thanks so much

Thats the age when trouble starts alright

Every child is different, I found though that if my kids got over tired they always slept bad at night. For a 10 month old Id reckon he should be getting a good nap during the day.
How is his sleep during the day ?

Some kids are just bad sleepers. But as previous poster said its very important to have a routine setup and stick to it. Also, perhaps a bath to wind down.

the glass woman

Well the thing is since i put the routine into place 4 months ago he's become a great little sleeper...he sleeps a full night, and goes for two daytime naps, they can be anything from 60 to 90 mins each, sometimes even longer, but thats because he's so active during his awake time. My problem is he won't lie down in his cot to allow himself go asleep, even when he's exhausted..He's always on the go, climbing up, throwing his bottle, soother and teddy out to watch them fall, and then crying for them back. If he'd just stay lying down then there wouldn't be a problem but just when you think he's about to drift off he gets a second wind. This can go on for over an hour each nap/bed time which is crazy. I've tried leaving him cry for a little longer each time but the thing is i know he needs his ted and soother etc to settle down, so I've to go in to pick them up for him. If i don't then he gets himself so genuinely upset that i have to console him.

luckat

Oh, incidentally, there are certain lullaby CDs that have an amazing effect in making babies sleepy - take a look on Amazon. The most successful tend to have sea sounds included.

delly

I'm in a similar situation at the moment although I have learned to adapt. My daughter is 13 months old and since about 8 or 9 months she has been able to stand up in the cot. The result would be a very tired baby in your arms but as soon as she was placed in the cot she'd flip onto her tummy and scurry about wide awake.

The way I have learned to get her to sleep is to give her bedtime boppy in my arms and then follow the routine of teeth brushed, grobag on, bonjela applied and a cold doody given. I then turn down the lights and her eyes are closed within a minute or two. Now at this point she's not actually asleep and I have to wait about 10 to 15 minutes for her to get into a good sleep before I put her down in the cot. If I do it too early she'll be wide awake by the time she hits the sheet.

Ok its a pain in the arse to have to hold her to get to sleep, but its a lot better than having her rolling around in the cot. Obviously at some stage I'll have to sort it proper, but for now its the way its done.

Also, how quick she goes to sleep depends on how many naps she has a day. In the morning, if she's up late, then her nap might not happen until 12 or so and if it lasts more than 90 minutes then its unlikely she'll get a second nap. This being the case I can usually put her down around the 8:30 mark. If however she does have two naps, then bedtime won't come around until about 10 o'clock or so.

Julietta

My son was exactly the same, I was absolutely worn out going up and down to him, so I made a decision to let him rant all he wanted but also made sure he could get his soother back himself as he needs it to sleep, I clipped it to the sleeve of his grobag and it really did the trick, he learned to pop it back into his own mouth and off he went - I wasn't overjoyed with this at first, I didn't like the idea of him having any kind of a cord near him in his cot, but the string on his soother clip is barely long enough to stretch from his sleeve to his mouth and after a few nights of me sitting outside his room, he started to pop his own soother in and went to sleep, thankfully it's still working a treat for us. Not everyone would go for this idea but I found it really great.

Maglight

the glass woman wrote: »

This can go on for over an hour each nap/bed time which is crazy. I've tried leaving him cry for a little longer each time but the thing is i know he needs his ted and soother etc to settle down, so I've to go in to pick them up for him. If i don't then he gets himself so genuinely upset that i have to console him.

You have to leave him to cry, but not for so long that he gets really distressed. If he starts to get distressed then go in and gently stroke his head until his crying starts to abate and then quietly leave the room again before he settles fully. Don't talk to him, just gently stroke and soothe him until he has calmed down a bit. That's very important, because he has to learn to calm and settle himself. If he's reliant on you, or a soother, or a teddy, then you'll always be slave to that routine. Try to build up the time you leave him by a couple of minutes each time, but don't let him get hysterical at any stage. It sounds harsh, but 3 days ought to sort it. Good luck

Danno

Hi I Have a 1 year old daughter who was always good to go to bed but lately when shes put to bed she kicks up, crying to an extent that she gets sick, tried walking out and leaving her but then she cries so bad she gets sick, and goes to sleep on an empty stomack. The minuite I walk out of the room shes standing up in the cot crying. Dont know whether its just a phase shes going through or shes just getting too clever and dont want to be left on her own.

lostinnappies

However sleepy he may be he is looking for attention. Best thing to do is when you put him down sit the other side of the room, far enough away that you may as well be outside the room (or even stand at the doorway) but close enough so that he can see you. Put him to bed as normal and wait. Allow him to trow them out and allow him to cry. He wont harm himself by crying. The reason he keeps doing it is because he gets a reaction and you keep putting them in... mine did the same. Once you stand there and he realises youre not playing this game anymore and you are not responding to his crys he will give up lie down and sleep. It will take some time but it will be the only thing that will get him out of this pattern of "this is how i get mummy to come in to me".

You are doing a fantastic job by getting him to sleep independently at 6 months. There will be relaps's but as long as you continue to do this they wont last too long.

lostinnappies

you may find that he doesnt actually need them to fall asleep ... the soother sometimes if it is constantly falling out all the time just as he is drifting off to sleep will actually wake him up and upset him more. Think about removing the soother altogether. Give him a snuggle blankey instead something that wont be too hard to find and will always be there... less likely to throw it out.

the glass woman wrote: »

Well the thing is since i put the routine into place 4 months ago he's become a great little sleeper...he sleeps a full night, and goes for two daytime naps, they can be anything from 60 to 90 mins each, sometimes even longer, but thats because he's so active during his awake time. My problem is he won't lie down in his cot to allow himself go asleep, even when he's exhausted..He's always on the go, climbing up, throwing his bottle, soother and teddy out to watch them fall, and then crying for them back. If he'd just stay lying down then there wouldn't be a problem but just when you think he's about to drift off he gets a second wind. This can go on for over an hour each nap/bed time which is crazy. I've tried leaving him cry for a little longer each time but the thing is i know he needs his ted and soother etc to settle down, so I've to go in to pick them up for him. If i don't then he gets himself so genuinely upset that i have to console him.

the glass woman

Thanks a million. I posted this a couple of months ago, (we celebrated his first birthday a the weekend!) thankfully those problems are behind us, for the moment anyway. Shortly after i wrote that we went away on hols for two weeks and when we got back he settled for his naps no problem. Then we'd 3 weeks of hell again but i actually did what you advised Lost in Nappies, and now, two new teeth later, he's content to nap again!

the glass woman

Oh btw Lost in Nappies i got your pm and request etc but i'm still using my mobile for this til i get my net sorted at home and i can't accept on this thing, just wanted to let you know incase you thought i was being rude!

lostinnappies

the glass woman wrote: »

Oh btw Lost in Nappies i got your pm and request etc but i'm still using my mobile for this til i get my net sorted at home and i can't accept on this thing, just wanted to let you know incase you thought i was being rude!

ha ha, not to worry. i know how it is with kids and (almost as bad) internet providers.