What To Do!?! Opinions Would Be Appreciated!!

iTerrorist

Hey guys,

Problem: Met this girl at a party last night....I'm 18 and she is 15 and 1/2. Age gap is only 2 years 6 months...She is going into 5th year and I just did the Leaving Cert. Personally I have no problem with the situation, neither does she nor her friends (except one; who might I add is a complete control freak!)

The issue isn't however that I'd be worried what other people think, because if your a friend of mine, then you would understand, but its rather the issue of it being okay, in legal terms. I'm not planning to have sex with her, I'm aware the legal age is 16 for boys and 17 for girls. What I need to know is if there is anything legally wrong being in a relationship with her(Considering that is the direction it is heading). Again there is no intention of sex, from my position anyway but more just the thought of being arrested or charged for being with someone in my own social circle.

Sorry for such a long post. I am just too use to writing on forums that I get carried away :P


-iTerrorist

Agent Smith

remember the half your age + 7 rule....

iTerrorist

I was just thinking about that, but I wasn't sure if it applied to sleeping with them or relationships entirely...and again that is a social convention, I was looking for somthing more along the lines of the legal implications...

None of my mates or social peers seem have a problem with it you see, I have a pretty clean record

km_corrigan

Id leave it for a while mate, be friends with her and wait for a year or so before moving on to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. To be honest a 15yo is probably a bit to young/immature for an 18yo in most aspects. Also her parents will most likely think your a nonce if you progress things at her age now. Wait until she is a bit more mature and of legal age, if ye still have the same feelings then go for it. Remember she is only 15 and is still only finding herself atm.

PeakOutput

if dont have sex as far as i know legally your are fine but your not techincally allowed ask for legal advie here either so dont take it as replacement for proper legal advice

seriouslly tho dude she is 15 fair enough she is going into 5th year(im guessing she skipped 4th yr) which means she just did the junior cert.

you are miles apart in terms of maturity and u can say she seems all mature blah blah blah and thats fine but there is a hell of alot of difference between acting mature and actually dealing with things besides how to get booze as an adult

im not saying its not meant to be im just saying if it is it will be worth waiting for all these legal questions and social acceptance questions to go away and that happens when she gets older at least 17 if not 18

my 2cents

Overheal

Wiki: Age of consent

The age of consent in the Republic of Ireland is 17 for carnal contact, with non-carnal contact being allowed at 15, regardless of sexual orientation and/or gender (although this relies on an interpretation of what "carnal contact" and "non-carnal contact" refers to). Sex with a minor over the age of 15 carries a lower sentence than that for when the minor is below 15, although the punishments were raised in the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2006.

though the definition of Carnal is fairly vague, and could effectively relate to any physical contact of a sexual nature. You shouldnt view this as legal advice though, especially as the source of the information is Wikipedia, and is inherently unreliable as sin.

vincenzo1975

you are way too mature for her, she will idolise you, you are allowed to go to pubs, nightclubs, you are part of the adult world, have done your leaving and most importantly, will be treated like an adult by your peers and above.

All of this is the craving of a 15year old girl. Social maturity and acceptance. What you offer her in terms of relationship is an acceptance of her percieved maturity, which is not there yet. Give her space and make a mature decision. IMO, let her get to 17 at least.

If you are planning college, you are in for a couple of hell riding years, and if you plan to have her tagging along, you will affect not only her leaving cert, but anlso her confidence and development as a young lady. She will never compete with college chicks.

Do the right thing and pass this one up is my opinion. Your intentions sound good, but you know that somewhere down the road there will be drink involved, and you dont wanna go there.

kowloon

vincenzo1975 wrote: »

yo
If you are planning college, you are in for a couple of hell riding years

That's not how I remember it :mad:.

Would leave this one alone OP.
You're free now, she's in school. Even if she was of legal age you're living in the adult world now, she's just a schoolkid.

spinandscribble

i did the whole dating a 'schoolkid', except he was in L.C. and i was in 2nd year college. it bothered me alittle mainly having todeal with other peoples crap, especially when i went to his debs and the reality of the situation hit me. except he was older then the other people in his class, only ten months younger then me and i only had to wait a year before he got into college. now we're still together, happy as larry.
i think you're moving alittle fast, you only just met this girl and wanna be bf/gf. are you serious about waiting two years for sex? why not pace yourself, you don't know her well enough to know how she'll react when you're out on the town during college while shes stuck at home doing homework.

hussey

The very fact that the OP used a fraction in her age, shows that she is too young.

MagicMarker

Yeah, sorry dude, 15 is way too young.

The fact that you don't seem to have an issue with it (other than the sex bit) is slightly concerning tbh.

Stick with someone you're own age, you and me both know you're not going to wait 2 years to have sex with this girl. So even asking the question of legalities here really doesn't make the slightest bit of difference.

All in all, a little bit of cop on is needed.

spinandscribble

hussey wrote: »

The very fact that the OP used a fraction in her age, shows that she is too young.

thats a very good point.

Sephiroth_dude

I dont think her parents would be too happy to learn that there 15yr old daughter is going out with a 18yr old man,I know if I was a parent I would'nt be too happy about it,but then again they may not have a problem with it,as long as you respect her and all that lark,do whatever makes you happy dude,and dont listen to what people think.
best of luck with everything.

iTerrorist

Hi guys me again...

Some of you are missing the point...What I am trying to figure out is the legality of my course of action going to end me up in prison.

I do not mind waiting two years to have sex because it is not important to me, it doesn't define a relationship. Personally I would consider myself slightly immature, not in the sense of social standards or in terms of responsiblity but more along the lines of mentality. My best friend is only going 16 and I have known him all my life nearly. Of course I do have friends my age (most of them are). I also have no real interest in going to clubs/pubs to often either. I spend most my time sleeping, practicing martial arts or hanging locally with my friends.

The night we met, both of us had drank; she drank what seemed a lot as the night went on. (i had gotten speaking to her at the start before anyone had started drinking) and I only drank moderatly. Still I was reluctant to even kiss her and drew the line there, considering maybe when she was sober she may not want to go there.

I stayed with her most the night and made sure she didn't drink too much and that she didn't make a fool of herself (as people do under the influence) Not to say she was falling over drunk shes just a very hyper and excited drinker but in a fun way.

At the moment I do not consider asking her out, I more consider just seeing her, but I do know as anyone else would that seeing someone on a continual basis can lead to a relationship, keyword being "CAN" and I would just like to know now whether or not it would be regarded as illegal to do so as I would not like to become attached to a girl who I could not be involved with.

Another thing about her age, she is 16 in a month or so, which is why I find it a questionable matter, and I have only gone 18. She also didn't skip 4th year, the school she is in doesn't allow it.

Anyways sorry for the life story just I really do not want to end up in a mess and I want to make an informed decision...

Thank You very much for your patience so far !!

Appreciated-

-iTerrorist

MJOR

You can of course see her. My only concern is do you like going to pubs and clubs?

If you don't intend on taking the relationship to a physical level beyond kissing there isn't a problem.

iTerrorist

I'm not a fan of Clubs because for somereason I will never know but I draw violence towards me. And clubs are full of angry guys and gals.
Example would be when I went to a party there recent enough, I new about ten people at it and that was cool, but out of the other 40-50 people;most of which where girls, there where 10 or so other guys who wanted to beat me up, for no apparent reason as it was the first time they saw me. It ended up one guy started on me for talking to his girlfriend a lot that night (who had told me she was single!) And when I told him she said she was single, he called me a liar and threw a punch. Prior to this my mate told me it may be better I leave because he had heard 10 people here want to "kick my head in". None of which new the guy who's girlfriend I had been caught in conversation with. (on a brief side note I hadn't even made a move with her, not even arm around her !! he was just a bit odd)

A similar incident happened at a club except I had taken my friend out for a night out because she was having a rough week. She had a boyfriend and wasn't going to cheat but liked to flirt....When we were leaving she had been talking to two guys and gotten herself into more than she could handle as they were trying to persuade her to go home with them. I ended up with a burst lip and a very sore nose. The other guy ended up with a broken nose and what looked to me like a huge swelling above his eye and most likley sore ribs. The bouncer kicked him and his friend out and escorted me and my friend outside and stood with us outside the club until we were able to get a taxi. He was very nice about it too

But still doing martial arts for as long as I have, I learned that only fight when you can't run and do as little damage as possible to secure your own safety. And I figure it is better for me to stay away from those type of places as it only brings me trouble

Sorry about the ramble Its just when I type I'll really get carried away

Thanks again!!

-iTerrorist

barbiegirl

hey easy on the guy. He's non a nonce or anything like it. There are 2.5 years between them. If he doesn not have sex, and takes it very easy on teh physical side of stuff and maybe pop into the parents as her boyfriend and let them get to know her, it should be ok. My sister met her husband when she was 14 and he was 17, they married when she had finished college and was in a good job, they have 3 kids, are very happy. But they did it by going very easy allowing one another space etc. to mature and being honest. At both your ages it probably won't last, so easy does it, get to know her and her family, build trust and DON't abuse that trust.
Good luck at 18 and 15 1/2 you have your whole live ahead of you enjoy every second of it.

Redpunto

Shes still a child, youre technically an adult. Youre grappling at straws when you added in the half,,,15 and a half!! Let her grow up a bit.... its too much of an age gap when shes that young.

Reckon So

If you are only interested in the legal implications of the age gap then why did you post it in Personal Issues? Go to the Legal Discussion page and ask there. They'll tell you that a person under the age of 17 is incapable (in the eyes of the law) of consenting to a sexual act. No liability attaches to the child, only to you.

G86

I think it depends on the level of maturity to be honest. I started seeing my ex when I was 16 and he was 23, we stayed together for 5 years after that, and got through him being at college, me being at school and even me moving 4 hours away, until we moved in together. It can definitely be done. That said, I've seen some 15 year olds with the maturity of a 10 year old, so only you can suss that one out to be honest. I'm sure if she was in an way childish then you wouldn't have been attacted to her in the first place though.

As for the legalities, your obviously very concerned but once your not sleeping together then I don't see the problem.

Just take it easy and see what happens, don't stress out to much about the age thing and don't let it become an issue if it isn't one. Best of Luck

iTerrorist

I guess you guys are half right and your not. And nit picking at the 1/2 is only because im just gone 18 and its to give a clearer idea of her age...not to "grab at straws" shes only two years and a half younger than me. I have no intention of sleeping with anyone after meeting them two days prior...Sex is not a big part of a relationship to me. It may be for a serious one that has been going longer than a year but I have no clue why people assume that I'm going to jump into bed with her ..... I just want to know because I have heard storys of the same situation and the girls parents tried to take legal action...!! And all I'm trying to do is plan ahead and figure if what I'm doing is going to wind me up in prison and the front page of a newspaper...

Today I bumped into her while she was walking her dog and I was walking back from the shops. We sat on the ground at the side of the road for four hours just chatting and getting to know eachother. And I know I want to give things a chance, she is pretty interesting to talk to and I enjoy her company And there was no intimacy involved either, just for those who seem to assume otherwise...

But that is all we get up to just I figure I must like her because believe it or not I'm not a people person. I've been called a misanthropist many times. But I know that I do like her because after two days I had no bother hanging out with her for four hours...I can usually stand people for no longer than about 5 minutes before I get frustrated and try to vacate their vacinity..

RossFixxxed

It's ropey man. The 1/2 is a terrible sign to be honest. Secondly there's a huge clash in terms of the level you're at. She's propbably just finished her Junior Cert. I mean come on that is just not right.

Find someone on your plane and don't do this. It's just wrong. There's also her parents who may not be well impressed by this AT ALL...

But that is all we get up to just I figure I must like her because believe it or not I'm not a people person. I've been called a misanthropist many times. But I know that I do like her because after two days I had no bother hanging out with her for four hours...I can usually stand people for no longer than about 5 minutes before I get frustrated and try to vacate their vacinity..

This suggests to me you've found someone immature that you can be the grown up one with. I know what you said, but you seem very anti social and attract violence (wtf?). This has flashing neon lights all over it man, back away. There's no ambiguity here at all from your posts. Don't. Get someone your own age. This 'she's nearly 16, or 15.52381487' thing is dreadful. I'm surprised you need to ask.

R