Need to know what to do...

LegacyUser

or not to do. Sorry its a bit long

Basically there is this girl who began hanging around our group of friends!!She seemed really nice and pretty and I was the more welcoming one cos i thought she was lovely while the rest of them thought she was a fool.

I walked her home one night 2 weeks ago and we kissed after a night out!it was nice and we said we liked each other!!The next day it was all arkward and **** and I didnt know how she felt!!We txt each other like 40 times a day nice lovey dovey messages but I kinda got the impression that she wasnt ready to date(bad relationships in the past etc)

Then just last weekend myself,my younger bro and sisters went out to a nightclub so I invited her along!We stayed in a mates house that night and my plan was to suss her out so I got my sis to ask her what she felt about me!!She said she really liked me and the only thing holding her back was that she may hurt me somehow!!My sis said go for it anyways!

Later that night in my mates gaff we never got a second alone so i was wrecked and went into the couch to lie down!!I fell asleep and didnt wake up til the next day!

I found out she was with my brother all night.I was so upset and hurt as I put so much effort into her and thats how she repays me!She has being in our house every nite this week with my brother(He didnt know how I felt or that I was with her)

We havent spoken or txted since!!Should I tell my brother everything?Should I go mad at the girl and risk my brother turning against me or should i just do nothing?

Sorry for waffling on

Thanx for any help

Wurly

Need help wrote: »

or not to do. Sorry its a bit long

Basically there is this girl who began hanging around our group of friends!!She seemed really nice and pretty and I was the more welcoming one cos i thought she was lovely while the rest of them thought she was a fool.

I walked her home one night 2 weeks ago and we kissed after a night out!it was nice and we said we liked each other!!The next day it was all arkward and **** and I didnt know how she felt!!We txt each other like 40 times a day nice lovey dovey messages but I kinda got the impression that she wasnt ready to date(bad relationships in the past etc)

Then just last weekend myself,my younger bro and sisters went out to a nightclub so I invited her along!We stayed in a mates house that night and my plan was to suss her out so I got my sis to ask her what she felt about me!!She said she really liked me and the only thing holding her back was that she may hurt me somehow!!My sis said go for it anyways!

Later that night in my mates gaff we never got a second alone so i was wrecked and went into the couch to lie down!!I fell asleep and didnt wake up til the next day!

I found out she was with my brother all night.I was so upset and hurt as I put so much effort into her and thats how she repays me!She has being in our house every nite this week with my brother(He didnt know how I felt or that I was with her)

We havent spoken or txted since!!Should I tell my brother everything?Should I go mad at the girl and risk my brother turning against me or should i just do nothing?

Sorry for waffling on

Thanx for any help

This will be hard but i'd say nothing. Your bro has done nothing wrong cos he didn't know. And the girl, well, yeah. She acted badly towards you. But you weren't together as such so its not like she cheated. Still, I don't like the way she led you on. Therefore, she's not worth it. Save some face mate and don't give her the satisfaction of going mad at her and showing you're bothered. It wont change what happened and it will reaffirm to her that she made the right decision by not choosing you.

She's a bit of a tit tbh being with 2 brothers. But that's her prob, not yours. Pass it off if your bro finds out you were with her before.

If you really think she's bad news, then you may want to warn your brother. But only do this if you intentions are for his benefit only. Not to cushion your rejection.

I'd personally say nothing. Good luck.

RedXIV

Tri wrote: »

If you really think she's bad news, then you may want to warn your brother. But only do this if you intentions are for his benefit only. Not to cushion your rejection.

+1

If you think she's gonna mess him about, i'd tell him. i have a bro only a year younger than me and i'd do the same for him. But if he's head over heels for the girl, be careful how you approach it, he could go on the defensive very fast. So keep cool, keep calm, if she messes up things with your bro, be ready for drinks with him and a night of cursing her to the deepest pits of hell. ye should feel better after that!

Wibbs

OK cynical old fart mode to full power....

Need help wrote: »

Basically there is this girl who began hanging around our group of friends!!She seemed really nice and pretty and I was the more welcoming one cos i thought she was lovely while the rest of them thought she was a fool.

Cool so far.

I walked her home one night 2 weeks ago and we kissed after a night out!it was nice and we said we liked each other!!

Bingo. Result as it were.

The next day it was all arkward and **** and I didnt know how she felt!!

OK the cold light of day dawns and she's not sure for whatever reason. Usually buyers remorse. Throw in male female awkwardness and it's not fun. I remember that one well from back in the dark ages.:)

We txt each other like 40 times a day nice lovey dovey messages

She likes you, but isn't sure how much.

but I kinda got the impression that she wasnt ready to date(bad relationships in the past etc)

In other words, she wasn't ready to date(at that point) due to whatever excuse she's gave you or indeed believes herself. She's directly telling you that too, only in that strange they think we're psychic way that some women do. :)

Then just last weekend myself,my younger bro and sisters went out to a nightclub so I invited her along!

Good plan.

We stayed in a mates house that night and my plan was to suss her out so I got my sis to ask her what she felt about me!!

Bad plan. That routine of "my friend likes your you, how do you feel" may work at 15, but goes rapidly south after that, especially for guys. Basically because it makes the guy look a bit wet because he doesn't have the backbone to suss her out himself.

She said she really liked me and the only thing holding her back was that she may hurt me somehow!!

Which was her not wanting to tell your sister that she liked you, she snogged you, but now is getting buyers remorse. Naturally she won't want to píss your sister off.

My sis said go for it anyways!

While it ended badly, that's advice you should ue next time around, before you get a third party involved in finding out how someone feels.

I found out she was with my brother all night.

Ouch and I mean that seriously. That must have been a right kick in the unmentionables.

I was so upset and hurt as I put so much effort into her and thats how she repays me!

OK as you say you're hurt, but the fact is that she wasn't yours until she was, if you know what I mean? She fancied you enough to snog you, but boyfriend/girlfriend was at the back of her mind. She probably wondered why she wasn't more into you herself, hence the text tennis between you. IMHO that was her tryin to find out how she felt.

She has being in our house every nite this week with my brother(He didnt know how I felt or that I was with her)

Then write her off as just not for you. She clearly was ready for a relationship, but not just with you at the moment. NOw don't take that too badly. Yes it'll hurt for a while. Shít of course it will, especially with the brother connection, but better you find out now than later when you really got into her. Trust me also that in the future, this will not feel as bad as it does now. You may not believe that but it won't. And you'll be happily ensconced with a woman that does want a relationship with you and you alone. You can paypal me the prophet fee then.:)

We havent spoken or txted since!!

Of course she'll be feeling touch of the guilts and will be wrried you'll tell your brother(which I wouldn't) Keep the lack of contact that way for the time being anyway.

Should I tell my brother everything?Should I go mad at the girl and risk my brother turning against me or should i just do nothing?

I wouldn't tell him. He's a big boy so while you may worry, don't think that your feelings about how she treated you are not a big part of this. Of course they are and the thing is she may not treat him badly and you all may laugh about this down the line.

Sorry for waffling on

Naw mate, you're a rank amateur at waffling compared to me.:D

Seriously though, it's a shítty thing to happen, but this stuff does happen and you do get through it and usually of you listen very carefully, you'll learn something worthwhile from it too. Good luck anyway.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

OK cynical old fart mode to full power....Cool so far.

Bingo. Result as it were. OK the cold light of day dawns and she's not sure for whatever reason. Usually buyers remorse. Throw in male female awkwardness and it's not fun. I remember that one well from back in the dark ages.:) She likes you, but isn't sure how much. In other words, she wasn't ready to date(at that point) due to whatever excuse she's gave you or indeed believes herself. She's directly telling you that too, only in that strange they think we're psychic way that some women do. :)

Good plan. Bad plan. That routine of "my friend likes your you, how do you feel" may work at 15, but goes rapidly south after that, especially for guys. Basically because it makes the guy look a bit wet because he doesn't have the backbone to suss her out himself. Which was her not wanting to tell your sister that she liked you, she snogged you, but now is getting buyers remorse. Naturally she won't want to píss your sister off. While it ended badly, that's advice you should ue next time around, before you get a third party involved in finding out how someone feels.

Ouch and I mean that seriously. That must have been a right kick in the unmentionables. OK as you say you're hurt, but the fact is that she wasn't yours until she was, if you know what I mean? She fancied you enough to snog you, but boyfriend/girlfriend was at the back of her mind. She probably wondered why she wasn't more into you herself, hence the text tennis between you. IMHO that was her tryin to find out how she felt. Then write her off as just not for you. She clearly was ready for a relationship, but not just with you at the moment. NOw don't take that too badly. Yes it'll hurt for a while. Shít of course it will, especially with the brother connection, but better you find out now than later when you really got into her. Trust me also that in the future, this will not feel as bad as it does now. You may not believe that but it won't. And you'll be happily ensconced with a woman that does want a relationship with you and you alone. You can paypal me the prophet fee then.:)

Of course she'll be feeling touch of the guilts and will be wrried you'll tell your brother(which I wouldn't) Keep the lack of contact that way for the time being anyway. I wouldn't tell him. He's a big boy so while you may worry, don't think that your feelings about how she treated you are not a big part of this. Of course they are and the thing is she may not treat him badly and you all may laugh about this down the line.
Naw mate, you're a rank amateur at waffling compared to me.:D

Seriously though, it's a shítty thing to happen, but this stuff does happen and you do get through it and usually of you listen very carefully, you'll learn something worthwhile from it too. Good luck anyway.

Thanx for the advice!!Just an update!!I havent contacted her at all and Im starting to come round!!Put it down to experience!!I feel once she stops seeing my brother and she will(he doesnt think that much of her) she will lose a good friend in me and relise it wasnt worth it!

Good Riddance to bad rubbish IMO!Thanx people

RossFixxxed

Great to hear, fair play that takes big cahones! Don't fall out with your brother over this he's there for life and as you say didn't do anything deliberate.

Fish, ponds, rods etc!
R

MagicMarker

wow, that's quite the story!

I gotta be honest, if i were your brother i would want to know, just so i could dump that bitch for what she did. HUZZAH!!

But, if he's not that into her and you see it fizzleing out pretty quick, then probably best not to say anything and forget about her, both romantically and friendship wise.