What to do!

LegacyUser

Ok just looking for a wee bit of advice - firstly may I point out how crippling shy and un-outgoing I am around people I don't know very well! I've been in around three relationships in my life lasting between 3 and 9 months or thereabouts! But I've always gotten to know the guy first before a relationship happened! However for the past three years I've had what could at best be described as a "crush" on a guy that I know from a shop I frequent!

Always have nice chats - nothing deep or anything mainly pertaining to whatever I'm buying but still he is very nice and friendly and I've grown to like him alot! The only problem is that I'm far far too shy to act on these feeling and ask him plus I'm worried that he has a girlfriend already but still I'd like to know whether he does or not! I don't really know anything about him apart from his first name but that's it!

SO without the ability to bite the bullet and ask him if he has a girlfriend and ask him out how else do I approach the situation without being mortified in the process if rejected...

A friend of mine who knows about the whole thing has suggested that she'd ask him for me but I'm afraid that to the guy (23yrs approx) it would appear juvenile!

I do really like him so any advice would be great!

RedXIV

And asking him out is totally out of the question?

I should point out that any guy would be absolutely flattered to get interest in them so you're on to a win already?

But if you really don't want to ask him, try getting him to talk about something that involves relationships. you say you meet up in a shop? say you're buying a present for friends of yours that got engaged? work your way from there?

Auldloon

Do ye have a shared taste in music/movies etc? If so its pretty easy to say where your thinking of going at the weekend. If you wanna know where he goes on a night out ask him something like "did i see you in (insert name) at the weekend, hopefully he will then answer no i was in (insert name) i always go there....bingo !

MagicMarker

Would you say he is an outgoing type person?

If so, then make it damn clear that you like him, flirt with him, compliment him etc.. Hell, even play with your hair ffs! Even prolonged eye contact and a cheeky smile may make it obvious to him.

Then wait for him to ask you out, but then again, he could be shy as well.

The only full proof way to do this is to ask him straight out, getting your friend to ask is a bit juvenile and immature, but as a last resort it's better than nothing.

LegacyUser

I'm pretty sure he's as shy as I am about these things...he gets quite flustered when we're just talking and a little fidgetty too - it's quite cute! But yes he's just as shy! So I don't think the waiting for him to ask me would work out!

I guess I could do the talking about relationships but when it gets to the point I don't think I could just come out and ask him! I know he doesn't really go out to pubs or such that much so meeting him out is kinda awkward...think I'm settled on my friend asking him just afraid that it might end in alot of embarassment if it went wrong and I do depend on the shop alot :-s

Gross Halfwit

Combine two strategies ... Send in a friend under-cover! Someone who he can't connect you with. Get them to engage the dude in convo about relationships. Real casual like. Send in a male friend would be even better. He can go in & pretend he's shopping for the new girl in his life ...

"Sorry mate, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah ..."
"Maybe you can help me ... I just got with a chick ... "

- OR -

"Sorry mate, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Nope ... "
"Awh well then you're no use to me ... "

And skiddoosh! You have your answer!

Failing that ... Bebo stalk him ...

biko

In conversation ask "So, what does your girlfriend think of this/that?"

skooterblue

UnregWhat wrote: »

I've been in around three relationships in my life lasting between 3 and 9 months or thereabouts! But I've always gotten to know the guy first before a relationship happened!

Remember you are aiming for quality not quantity! Friend ship are great places to start from

I've had what could at best be described as a "crush"

He is not a crush is a piece of potential totty you are eyeing up

Always have nice chats - nothing deep or anything mainly pertaining to whatever I'm buying but still he is very nice and friendly and I've grown to like him alot!

This is a great start with him recognising you and talking to you. If he remembers that means he was thinking about you.

Dont ask him if her has a girl friend ask him everything but that. Asking pleasantries like "what did you do for the weekend?" It is very unlikely a whole month would go by without seeing his girlfriend.

I really dont think getting a friend to ask for you is a good idea no matter how well meant it was.

What I would do think of a social occasion like a concert, college ball or sports event but not a wedding or christening (your family and interferring aunties too much pressure on both of you). Something you were looking forward to but you friend/Sister/cousin dropped out at the last minute.

Some men (if they are genuine people) love the feel good factor of helping a damsel in distress. Remember he is doing a favour for you.

take it from there. Remeber be cool like the Fonze and good luck

MagicMarker

Sorry, but why try and trick him to going out?

If you want to go on a date with the guy, then ask him out on a date. Us men can be idiots at the best of times, if she asks him to help her out last minute, he may think that that's all it is.

Also, just because he remembers her, doesn't mean he's thinking of her at all... I work in retail, i remember clients all the time, some women, some men, some inbetween, doesn't mean i think of them or secretly fancy them.

Situations like these don't need overanalysing or false hope. He may say yes, he may say no, be prepared for both answers and it'd be a lot easier than convincing yourself he'd say yes.