What to do?

LegacyUser

Hello, i am in need of some advice i suppose. i lost me job about 3 weeks ago and have been searching since. it was a good professional job that has paid for a new house and car etc etc. perfect life i suppose. i have a girlfriend of 3 years and that is going great.

anyway i cant help but look around and see people my age and think that they have it better . they all travelled the world whereas i stayed at home and worked. i feel like i am missing out on life. i dont know where to start. i back away from any good oppurtunity . before i hid behind my work but now i dont have that even. i find myself thinkin about crap that i should have done. i really resent myself for the decisions i have made over the last few years and the paths i have taken. i would love to start from scratch. but i have a massive mortgage. a girlfriend the whole lot. cant just leave that behind..... But the problem is that i dont even know what to do!!!

my head is melted thinking about what i could have done but now i have free time and a redundancy money i dont know what to do . i now fob of any oppurtunites with the fact i have to find work.

i dont feel i can talk to anyone as i dont know what to say because i dont know what i want!!! its getting me down. the fact that i have all day to think of this does not help.

i realise that this sounds like rambling or that some people think that i am lucky ith what i have got but i hope at least one person can help.

Thanks!

Karen_*

Now that you have time off why don't you go away for a month. Perhaps ask your girlfirend to take time off and come with you. Go to South Africa or somewhere you've always wanted to go. The vast majority of people haven't travelled the world or even gone to Australia or the likes.

Did you feel this way when you were working?

RedXIV

Hey OP, if it's any consolation, at least your being responsible and thinking about getting a job in the near future.

But if finances could allow it, i would recommend taking even a week out to go somewhere you've always wanted to go. just do it once, book something with a few days notice, for a nice break and just enjoy yourself. If you can do it once, it becomes alot easier.

I know where you're coming from, i'm always trying to make sure i'll have enough cash in case i need it (which i don't, damn my luxuarious lifestyle ) but the guy beside me here in work has actually started his monday by planning a holiday for next week. and i admire him for being able to do it.

If financially it can be done, do it. you've nothing to lose

Best of luck

Red

How Strange

I Dont Know wrote: »

i cant help but look around and see people my age and think that they have it better . they all travelled the world whereas i stayed at home and worked. i feel like i am missing out on life. i dont know where to start. i back away from any good oppurtunity . before i hid behind my work but now i dont have that even. i find myself thinkin about crap that i should have done. i really resent myself for the decisions i have made over the last few years and the paths i have taken.

IMO, this is a recipe for a life of misery. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Live your own life your way. I don't know what you mean by backing away from opportunities but presume you mean the opportunity to travel etc.

I haven't travelled around the world for a year or lived abroad and some times I regret it but then I look at the things I have achieved and I'm proud of them. I'm in a reasonably good job, my salary isn't as great as it could/should be but I'm content with what I've got. However every now and then I think I should have this or that and achieved more or done this college course instead of that one and I realise that if I had done those things then my life would've taken a completely different path and I wouldn't have my job, friends, bf etc.

So essentially you can choose to believe the grass is always greener somewhere else or you can appreciate what you have right now and go about changing the things you're not happy with.

i would love to start from scratch. but i have a massive mortgage. a girlfriend the whole lot. cant just leave that behind..... But the problem is that i dont even know what to do!!! my head is melted thinking about what i could have done but now i have free time and a redundancy money i dont know what to do . i now fob of any oppurtunites with the fact i have to find work.

Well, this is your chance to start over again. You've no job so sit down and assess your options. Maybe go see a life coach and discuss it with him/her. This is your ideal opportunity to do something brave. You have redundancy money so finances aren't restricting you. It's always possible to start over but it does require courage and the ability to see that in the long run it will be worth it even if it doesn't seem the case in the short term.

I'd recommend going to see a life coach who will be able to carry out personality tests etc and discuss what it is you really want from life and where your priorities are.

barbiegirl

You don't say how old you and your girlfriend are. How about renting the house for 6 months to a year and travelling now. I know loads of people who've done that. Talk to your girlfriend, now you have an opportunity, if you really want to travel do, if you don't and are just comparing yourself to other people, stop, look at all the good things in your life and move forward.

akamossy

If you want to travel then do it now while you have the time and the money. Yes getting a job is important but could it not wait? I'm sure your gf might even want to come with you on your travels. If you feel like you've missed out it is never too late.

LegacyUser

Karen_* wrote: »

Did you feel this way when you were working?

See this is another problem of mine. i used work to hide. i not happy when i am in work becasue my job is very restrictive long hours and such and i feel like i am missing out on life while i am working but now that i am not i am using the excuse of finding a job and the fact i have no job so i cant spend money. i know what will happen and i can see it now i will be back in work after sorting nothing out and back in square one but this time it will be worse as i had a real oppurtunity to make a change.

i am envious of the people that have the courage to make a change in their lives . my main problem is i am not sure of the direction i want to go. i seriously cant sleep any more thinking about this.