Disgusted with myself...

LegacyUser

Ok Im looking for some non judgemental advice to the situation I currently find myself in:

Basically I am usually very careful with regards to contraception and the like but in my previous relationship we stopped using condoms and I contracted genital warts from him. We broke up 6 months ago, I havent slept with anyone since him and symptoms only appeared this week. I am currently recieving weekly treatment at my gp for the condition. Thing is I recently started seeing a guy about a month ago, things have got hot and heavy at times but not any further than kissing. Obviously I cant have sexual intercourse until the warts have cleared up,and yes I am aware that even after this I will have to use protection.

I am unsure as to how long treatment will take, the doctor has said about 2-3 weeks but even after that time I wont feel comfortable until at least 2-3 months after the condition has cleared. Im worried I will find it hard to keep fobbing this guy off with regards to sexual activity... eventually he will get bored, think Im not interested or think Im being a tease... HELP!

How do I keep him interested without having to come out and tell him that Im a mutant?!

Also as I am completly freaked out about this whole thing if anyone has any experiences or advice about this condition I would be v grateful, thanks.

Oryx

Has your doctor advised that 2-3 weeks will mean you are clear with no risk of passing it on? And the 2-3 month unease is your own? If so, perhaps you need more reassurance on that score.

Other than coming clean to your fella, (and I can see why you dont want to) could you tell a white lie about some less taboo gynae problem that might prevent sex for a while?

I know you feel freaked, but having something like this doesnt make you a leper. You were just unfortunate, and hey, you're getting it sorted and being careful not to pass it on. If everyone was that careful and considerate stds wouldnt be as prolific as they are.

Beruthiel

Wartsnall wrote: »

How do I keep him interested without having to come out and tell him that Im a mutant?!

Tell him straight.
Sh!t happens, we all know that, if he's a nice guy he'll be happy to wait until you are sorted.

MJOR

Hindsight is always 20/20 so really there is no point in being disgusted. It happens.

I understand why you don't want to go to him and tell him. Why not just say you were on anitbiotics a while back and have some thrush.. Then explain that that is why you wanna keep usings condoms.

Personally I would come clean with the guy because he might catch them and he will need to be careful too.
He wouldn't thank you if he caught them too so by telling him you are provding the him with the info to keep him safe too

MagicMarker

I think you should be honest.. If anything, it will tell you what kind of guy he is. If he runs a mile then maybe he's just not the guy for you?

Prior to my ex and i doing to the deed, she told me that the guy she was with before me had contracted chlamydia and that there was a possibility she may have it. It was just a matter of waiting for a few weeks to get the tests done and results back before continuing on. I had no problem waiting.

LegacyUser

Hello

I can sympathise with you completely because I know how you feel.

I had been in a relaitonship with a guy for many years then it ended. I then started seeing another guy (who Im still with). We started sleeping together about May time last year and in the summer time I thought something down below might not be right. I put it off and by Christmas I was certain I had warts. NEw Year I went to a clinic and was diagnosed has having these little fookers. I had a freezing treatment (which hurt like hell) and prescribed Warticon cream which I had to apply morning and night for 3 days and then no treatment for a further 4 days, then use the cream again for 3 and off it for 4 etc, until the warts had disappeared.

After 5 weeks I returned to the clinic as there were another couple had surfaced and received more freezing and prescribed cream. I followed the instructions meticulously and returned again a further 4 weeks and got a final dose of freezing and more cream.

It is now June and I am just started treating one wart that has appeared. I have not been back for any freezing as the cream works a treat.

My advice to you is that this is a very long process. Things that will help you get through this are a healthy diet, building up your immune system and exercise etc. Try not to worry your way through this as it will add stress to you.

You must understand that you have this probably for life. Its a virus that will lie dormant in your system and the chances are that anyone you have unprotected sex with, you will pass on the virus. Not everyone who has the virus will develop warts which is why many, many people dont even know they have it. (Statistics say that if you have unprotected sex with more than 2 people, the chances are that you will have the virus.)

Regarding your boyfriend, you are going to have to be honest, and if he's worth it and loves you enough it should be fine.

I really hope you are ok with this as I was distraught. I am sickened and very very sad that I have this and its going to affect me for the rest of my life.

Let me know if there's anything else I can tell you about.

Best best wishes.

Piste

Tell him you had a smear test and cant have sex for a few weeks, that should buy you some time at least!

Carrigart Exile

Piste wrote: »

Tell him you had a smear test and cant have sex for a few weeks, that should buy you some time at least!

that was my thought, say 'women's troubles' and most men harumph and get embarrassed or tell him you have thrush, etc

LegacyUser

I am shocked at people's reactions here to simply lie to her boyfriend.

This is not going to go away. Yes, the visible warts might disappear, but you ARE going to infect your boyfriend (and he may or may not develop the warts). This is not just another STI that you can take treatment for and its gone for good.....its here forever. While the warts may not be visible, the virus lives in under the skin and you will infect other people. I am sorry for being so blunt, but thats just the way it is.

People are very niave here, you cant just say "womens problems" and wait until warts are gone, its no wonder there are so many people being infected.

Please read these links and educate yourselves..........

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/genitalwarts.htm

http://www.fpa.org.uk/attachments/published/146/PDF%20Genital%20warts%20April%202008.pdf

http://www.womenshealthlondon.org.uk/leaflets/hpvwarts/hpvwarts.html

Hope this helps.

LegacyUser

Thanks to the responses so far, to be honest Id be too embarrassed to say I have thrush or discuss lady problems with a guy. Theres only so many times I can play the "period" cards too.

In response to NoRegGirl, you have basically confirmed my fears and research that Ive done on the net. Obviously I need to speak to my doctor more as at the minute I dont even know if they are only external, The first time I went to get treatment I had two and then I went the second time and I had 3 more... this was in the space of about 7 days.I didnt find the treatment painful- it was more comforting than anything to know that it was getting rid of them, or so I thought. I had a full screen on the day I had the first treatment but now Im waiting on the results, including the smear to see if there are any in my cervix, Im absolutly terrified, what If they have been there ages, Im at risk of cervical cancer. I cant believe how incredibly stupid Ive been.

For the moment I know its important to build up my immune system and avoid stress but its impossible with this hanging over my head. Ive told my ex (we remainded good friends) and hes got the added stress of having to tell his current partner who hes already slept with. Its all just a big mess. Stupidly I presumed it was something that could be simply treated and forgotten about, clearly its not.

Also since posting my OP Ive learnt theres a vaccination you can get, I wish I had of known about it before. People reading this should seriously research it and get the vaccination.

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd-vac/hpv/vac-faqs.htm

As for the guy Im seeing I really dont know what to do, I really cant face having to tell him, the only person Ive told is my ex and obv posting it anon on here, not even my closest friends who I know would never judge me and would be completly there for me. I cant even bring myself to talk about it with them.

LegacyUser

In response to missthepoint

As I have mentioned I am now aware that it is not something that simply goes away yet I am still in the predicament as how to keep him interested without having the dreaded conversation until I am completly comfortable doing so... and by the way Im feeling now that could take months.

Magpie!

There are over 100 strains of HPV

The strains which cause genital warts are not the same strains which cause cervical cancer.

A lot of what you will find on the net is pure scaremongering. If you haven't already DC NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES do an image search on gws. The pics you will find are worst case scenario and VERY distressing.

When I was at your stage i found www.hpvsupport.com a great help. The FAQ section in particular was the clearest info i found anywhere.

I am not purporting to give medical advice but i am am going to say that in my case I found the warticon too slow. I zapped the ****ers with Wartner. You're not supposed to, but it worked for me.

uberwolf

firstly, I don't think your subject line is fair. You've nothing to be disgusted with yourself about.

Your ex could possibly have told you earlier!

I wouldn't be of the telling the new fella persuasion. No matter how lovely he is, the I have an STD is not a conversation I'd be rushing to have.

Use a condom with him once the physical manifestation has gone. If you're together a while and you're considering the non barrier contraception route then it's time to have a chat, and maybe he should have a test as well at that stage?

seahorse

uberwolf wrote: »

I wouldn't be of the telling the new fella persuasion. No matter how lovely he is, the I have an STD is not a conversation I'd be rushing to have.

Use a condom with him once the physical manifestation has gone. If you're together a while and you're considering the non barrier contraception route then it's time to have a chat, and maybe he should have a test as well at that stage?

Eh, excuse me uberwolf, but this type of STI is very easily passed on while using condoms. Would you like to think an infected partner of yours was getting the same advice on the internet?

OP, I'm sorry to hear about this. It must be just awful for you to have to deal with. If I were you I'd say something along the lines of 'I just need to take my time for reasons of my own, ok?' Then when the time comes for you to discuss it he cant accuse you of having lied to or mislead him in any way.

LegacyUser

seahorse wrote: »

Eh, excuse me uberwolf, but this type of STI is very easily passed on while using condoms. Would you like to think an infected partner of yours was getting the same advice on the internet?

OP, I'm sorry to hear about this. It must be just awful for you to have to deal with. If I were you I'd say something along the lines of 'I just need to take my time for reasons of my own, ok?' Then when the time comes for you to discuss it he cant accuse you of having lied to or mislead him in any way.

Ye I caught warts while using condoms and I was told at the clinic I'd probably always be at risk of passing them on, I haven't been in the situation yet where I've had to tell someone but basically if you're going to have sex with someone you shouldn't be too embarrassed to talk about it with them, I do know how you feel thoguh the thoughts of having to tell someone is fairly scary but I reckon it'll make me think more about the people I do sleep with!!