Insanely Jealous Girlfriend - Scary!!

LegacyUser

Hey Guys,

I really need some advice because I'm at the end of my rope with my girlfriend. I'm so angry at her and need some
objective opinions on how to handle this.

We have been together for a year, in fact it was our anniversary just last week. We are madly in love and are planning
on moving in together soon, although if this problem doesn't get resolved that may never happen. We are both 27.

She is an insanely jealous girl to the point where I almost laugh sometimes it gets so ridiculous. This morning was the
last straw for me. I have a lot of female friends and my gf has no problems or jealousy issues towards them at all, even the good looking
girls. It's celebrities that she has a problem with. I'll give you a few examples. The other night she came over to my apartment and
me and my flatmate were watching Layer Cake. She was in good form and we were chatting away while watching the movie. There
is a scene in it where Sienna Miller gets jiggy with Daniel Craig in a Hotel room. When this scene came on, my gf stopped talking, became
really cold and left the room. I went after her but she said she felt sick and wanted to go home so I let her go. I didn't pander to her like I
usually would because I am sick of this crazy carry on.

One of the lads was away last week and he brought me back a calendar of hot women, just a silly novelty calendar. My gf saw it on my desk
and went ballistic. She asked me where I got it and said she was taking it with her which she did. She left in tears. In my gaf we buy the
Sunday papers every week but if she calls over and there is a hot girl on the front of one of the magazines, she'll always take it so I can't look at it.
She'll also become all cold and weird but if I ask what's wrong she'll say 'Nothing, I'm fine'.

The thing is she's not threatened by real women that I work with that are hot or my female friends, just hot models, actresses etc and it baffles me!!
These women are unattainable for f*cks sake, the women in my life are not!I would never cheat on her and constantly tell her how gorgeous she is but
she still acts psycho. She has never been cheated on either so I don't know where this stems from.

This morning she freaked out at me and stormed out of my gaf. I usually drive her to work. It was because I said I was staying in tomorrow night. I said
I was gonna get some cans and watch Jonathon Ross. Sienna Miller is the guest tomorrow apparently, I didn't even know that, but she freaked that the
only reason I'm staying in is to 'perve' all over her like a 'sleaze'.

Help me seriously cause I actually think she might be crazy, what is going on here?

Thanks and sorry for length but I'm fuming and out of ideas, it's embarrassing.

Beruthiel

Endofmyrope wrote: »

She is an insanely jealous girl to the point where I almost laugh sometimes it gets so ridiculous. This morning was the last straw for me.

Tell her that.
Tell her you love her madly but these crazy outbursts of hers are slowly ruining your relationship.
Tell her she comes across as a total psycho and that you need her to take a long hard look at this behaviour before it's too late.
This comes down to her lack of self esteem, she obviously feels threatened by these great looking women.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote: »

Tell her that.
Tell her you love her madly but these crazy outbursts of hers are slowly ruining your relationship.
Tell her she comes across as a total psycho and that you need her to take a long hard look at this behaviour before it's too late.
This comes down to her lack of self esteem, she obviously feels threatened by these great looking women.

I agree totally..... She should chill out big time... there is more to this than meets the eye. Talk to her tell her you love her but her behaviour is driving you away....

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote: »

Tell her that.
Tell her you love her madly but these crazy outbursts of hers are slowly ruining your relationship.
Tell her she comes across as a total psycho and that you need her to take a long hard look at this behaviour before it's too late.
This comes down to her lack of self esteem, she obviously feels threatened by these great looking women.

I have tried to reassure her loads of times but she doesn't listen. When I tell her that it's ridiculous to be threathened by women on TV or in magazines she gets upset. She seems to think that if I fancy them then I couldn't possibly fancy her or that she's not as good as they are. Ironically, it's making her increasingly unattractive to me.

Is this normal behaviour? Do you know any other woman who act like this cause my mayes gf's don't seem to act this way over Angelina Joile or a picture of some unknown model!

I'm so sick of this.

How Strange

I agree with Beruthiel. Tell her more or less what you posted here. That you love her etc but her jealousy is out of control. It may offend her, she may stomp off in a huff but don't back down.

Honestly, if the two of you break up over this then it shows that your relationship isn't as strong as you thought but if you let this continue your gf will only get more and more erratic and irrational. Speaking as a woman, this isn't normal behaviour.

LegacyUser

Hi, if my BF didnt fancy the likes of sienna miller id be worried!!
Its a very odd situation OP and it doesnt make sense even if you wanted to how on earth does she think you could cheat on her with a celebrity!?
I think its more likely that she has some self conscious body issues and that these come out when she sees you looking at hot women as it makes her feel less attractive and insecure. Does she have any hang ups about sex? Does she ever make derogatory remarks about herself?
Maybe she is comparing herself to these women and feels she comes up a lot less? This is an issue in her head Op and is def not your fault. Its very illogical. Most rational people know that clebs are made up and air brushed to the hilt at a photo shoot.
Have you explained to her that this in danger of ruining your relationship?

Wibbs

I'd preface this by saying, are you sure you don't push her buttons over how she looks in other ways? If you genuinely don't then...

Major headwreck and I don't envy you, having been there myself in the past on two occasions. The details were different, but the cause was the same.

Not normal behaviour at all. This is at the extreme end of the "does my bum look big in this" mindset. Good oul insecurity rearing it's head. As you point out, in the case of someone being jealous of others in the real world it's bad enough(depending on degree), but to this level of irrationality? Not so good. Then again it is just a slightly loopier extension of that.

IMHO and if it was me, I would tell her this is not on. Don't pander to her(as you've spotted yourself) that just increases the BS level. You'll also have to accept that unless the change comes from her and she wants that change, there's very little you can do. She'll never be satisfied with any explanation you give as it's her template for the world is askew. Even threatening to leave her over this will likely result in tears, tantrums, etc not change, as she feels you may not find her attractive anyway and would have left sooner or later.

In my case I had to call it a day, as I found it increasingly unhealthy for me and I would be pretty easy going(not a boast, more laziness on my part:D).

If you do find a solution that reduces the issue to low level background stuff or someone else does, then my hats off to you.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

This is at the extreme end of the "does my bum look big in this" mindset. Good oul insecurity rearing it's head. She'll never be satisfied with any explanation you give as it's her template for the world is askew. .

agree. She is not looking at the world the same way as you so logic just wont get through to her. I knew a girl like this - insecure to the hilt. 'does this outfit look ok', 'do i look to 'put together', 'I feel so fat in this'. it drove my friends and I demented.

I think your GF is suffering from the same insecurity and just different symptoms. You will often hear women giving out about how celebs are 'too thin', 'airbrushed', 'really ugly in real life'. Usually these women are those that are unhappy with themselves and will be guzzling diet coke and reading the diet sections of magazines to try look like the same celebs they bitch about. Putting down pretty girls or celebs helps insecure girls feel better.


The difficult thing about all this is that self confidence and security comes from within, only your GF can achieve that. If she felt secure in her own skin she would have no issues with you looking at 'hotter' women. I mean its not like your gazing at porn shes hiding the sunday papers and stopping you watching jonathan ross its very very irrational!

try to sit her down and talk to her. what exactly does she get upset about? Does she acknowledge that she acts like thsi? (if she doesnt its a bit of a vicious circle!). How does it make her feel? If she cant or wont speak to you about this maybe its time for her to see a counseller of some sort? Are you close to any of her friends or relatives? I wonder if they have noticed this type of behaviour in her.

Beruthiel

Endofmyrope wrote: »

I have tried to reassure her loads of times but she doesn't listen. When I tell her that it's ridiculous to be threathened by women on TV or in magazines she gets upset. She seems to think that if I fancy them then I couldn't possibly fancy her or that she's not as good as they are.

As Wibbs said, this is down to her being insecure in herself.
If she were to sit back and think logically about it, then she would understand that this makes not the slightest difference to your day to day lives.
After all, what are the chances of you getting the leg over Sienna Miller? About the same chance as me getting mine over Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or Antonio Banderas (though I do live in hope.)
I'm also betting that there is some famous person out there that she has cast her eye over more than once.

You have tried to reassure her and that hasn't worked.
It's time to tell her how her behaviour is is affecting your relationship.
After all, unless you start wearing blinkers, there is not much you can do about this.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd preface this by saying, are you sure you don't push her buttons over how she looks in other ways? If you genuinely don't then...

Major headwreck and I don't envy you, having been there myself in the past on two occasions. The details were different, but the cause was the same.

Not normal behaviour at all. This is at the extreme end of the "does my bum look big in this" mindset. Good oul insecurity rearing it's head. As you point out, in the case of someone being jealous of others in the real world it's bad enough(depending on degree), but to this level of irrationality? Not so good. Then again it is just a slightly loopier extension of that.

IMHO and if it was me, I would tell her this is not on. Don't pander to her(as you've spotted yourself) that just increases the BS level. You'll also have to accept that unless the change comes from her and she wants that change, there's very little you can do. She'll never be satisfied with any explanation you give as it's her template for the world is askew. Even threatening to leave her over this will likely result in tears, tantrums, etc not change, as she feels you may not find her attractive anyway and would have left sooner or later.

In my case I had to call it a day, as I found it increasingly unhealthy for me and I would be pretty easy going(not a boast, more laziness on my part:D).

If you do find a solution that reduces the issue to low level background stuff or someone else does, then my hats off to you.

Think your hat will remain firmly on your hat for a while Wibbs cause I have no answers!!
To storm out of my house this morning refusing a lift to work because of Sienna Miller being on Johathon Ross is the final straw for me. I went after her and said 'ok, I won't watch it then I promise!' but then I had to stop myself because that is just ludicrous. If my flatmates knew what I was going through with her they'd be shocked. Does she expect me to sit in the kitchen tomorrow while my mates have a few cans and watch a TV show cause I'm not allowed??? No chance.

hockeygirl

Have to agree with the other posters. This all stems from her own insecurities.

I'll admit I was fairly overweight at one stage and my confidence hit an all time low. I used to hate if we were watching a film and some hot actress was half naked.... but that was all me... pure jealousy for what she had that I didnt... buit I would never resort to stopping him to watch and I kept my insecurities to myself.

I think she is trying making you feel guilty for the way she feels about herself... by making it look like you prefer other women(celebs) to her.

When you go to her and tell her that she looks better etc it makes her feel good about herself....

I think you need to say to her that all this unnecessary jealous is making her look unattractive to you. You cant control whats on telly... whats in the newspaper.

Maybe the next time your watching something an a hit actor comes on you shoul;d switch it off...make a point of switching it off.... and if she complaines tell her you dont want her staring at good looking men... maybe then she'll realise how stupid the whole thing is

Kirnsy

hockeygirl wrote: »

Have to agree with the other posters. This all stems from her own insecurities.

I think you need to say to her that all this unnecessary jealous is making her look unattractive to you. You cant control whats on telly... whats in the newspaper.

Maybe the next time your watching something an a hit actor comes on you shoul;d switch it off...make a point of switching it off.... and if she complaines tell her you dont want her staring at good looking men... maybe then she'll realise how stupid the whole thing is

exactly...thats the kernel..."how stupid the whole thing is"....as you said yourself it would be one thing to be jealous of attainable hot women who work with you etc but if she is upset at actors like sienna miller... then you are going to be having difficulty with cinema dates and nights in front of the TV!

DenMan

Hi OP

Your gf does really sound like she has issues. Is she a bit insecure or uncomfortable? If it does annoy her then cut it down a bit. Rent comedy movies, something that will make her more comfortable. My old gf was the same. She is Maltese, but I would say it is true with women all over the world, including Ireland. Image is a big thing, especially for girls. Find out what she likes, who her favorite celebrity is and compliment her on her appearance. Trust me grils like being complimented. Maybe get her a little gift.

You could always buy a calender for girls with guys on it, and say you got it for her. Only kidding...:)

Wibbs

DenMan wrote: »

Is she a bit insecure or uncomfortable? If it does annoy her then cut it down a bit.

Great in theory and in the past I would have gone along with that, but I found that will do sweet Fanny Adams for the problem. He'll end up pandering to her and essentially treating her like an over sensitive child. If she''s an adult she should expect and indeed should be treated like one. That is respected and cared for but equally called on and held responsible for actions that affect others. This does not mean being nasty or abusive to her, but standing your ground over a simple TV show is not exactly overly pushy on the OP's side.

It is just possible that while she has body issues, it's equally possible that this is also a control thing. It's so out there in daftness in the normal run of things that this is very possible. I could understand if you were flirting your arse off with women in front of her. In which case she would be well within her rights to take umbrage. This is not the case.

If you do pander to her, then get ready for doing so for the rest of this relationship, however long that lasts.

McGinty

I went after her and said 'ok, I won't watch it then I promise!' but then I had to stop myself because that is just ludicrous.

Hi Op

I know you want to please your girlfriend but doing the above is a bad idea, you are feeding in to her insecurities. Most women don't feel threatened by celebs, and others here have pointed out that she has insecurity issues, but you are not helping her by pandering to them, you are left in a difficult situation where you have to tell her that she has no right to stop you looking at magazines, papers or programmes of hot women and that she has to deal with the issues herself and not put them on you. It isn't easy but it has to be done otherwise you will slowly grow to dislike your girlfriend and the jealousy will erode the love, sit her down and tell her this. If she acts upon it all well and good, if not you may have to make some hard choices. She has to believe and accept that you love her and deal with her insecurity issues herself.

seahorse

Endofmyrope wrote: »

Ironically, it's making her increasingly unattractive to me.

This line jumped out to me OP; I think you should repeat it back to her.

Since she obviously has very big hang-ups around anything she perceives to lessen her attractiveness, tell her that her behaviour is damaging her allure; it might just do the trick. Good luck.

(Oh and failing that, leave her - she sounds like a menteller!)

Toots

I'd pretty much tell her exactly what you said in your first post. This is NOT normal behaviour. TBH, she's just way out of line, despite any insecurities she may have, she's being totally unreasonable. Personally I have no problems with my OH oogling female celebs, just like he has no problems with me drooling at the sight of Johnny Depp, because both are totally un-attainable! If he was going goo-goo eyed at other female friends, I'd be pissed. You're right to stop pandering to her. The next time she's over and you're watching something on TV and she goes in a strop and wants to leave, just say fine off you go. Don't call or text her, let her come to you. You can't let her rule your life!!

Also, the fact that she actually comes and takes your magazines, and the hot girl character would really annoy me! Tell her that since she clearly doesn't trust you that there's no point continuing the relationship, seeing as trust is the foundation of any good relationship.

BraziliaNZ

she's completely mental and doesn't deserve a boyfriend like you if she doesn't sort herself out first. Do her insecurities show up in any other ways?

LegacyUser

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

she's completely mental and doesn't deserve a boyfriend like you if she doesn't sort herself out first. Do her insecurities show up in any other ways?

Not really no, she's avery good looking girl and has no reason to be threathened by any other woman, celebrity or otherwise. Another thing that I find very unattractive in her is that she's so into her looks. Apperanace is everything to her and it's the basis she judges everyone on. She insults my friends (not in front of them) for how they dress. For example we were all out a few weeks ago and she turned to me laughing and said 'oh my God, I'm embarassed to be seen with the lads tonight, look at Damiens shirt!' None of you know how to dress'....this kinda thing.

akamossy

I was reading this post and i couldn't help but feel utter disbelief. Yes it may stem from her insecurities about herself but why feel insecure about women who have benefited from the fact they can afford to make themselves look better than everyone else. These women have celebrity trainers, chefs, plastic surgeons and enormous amounts of money on their side not to even mention airbrushing in magazines.

Being jealous of famous women just because your bf looks at them is ridiculous, my bf fancies women in the public eye and i may pretend sometimes to be odd but its always playful and i really dont care because these women are not within reach. Now a woman who is within reach i would understand the jealousy. But this i can't.

It sounds like it has gotten a little out of hand and you really need to sit her down and talk to her about it before it destroys your relationship because she is acting like a child and doesn't seem to realise it.

Dragan

Jesus dude, that would drive me bananas.

Here is the good news though.....it's clearly not a trust issue if she has no problems with your female friends, she just seems to have issues with herself.

Explain to her that you find her behaviour to be very tough to deal with and let her know that she has no reason to feel this way at all.

It may take some time but some positive enforcement from yourself could go a long way to helping her with these issues.

girliegirl

Ok, I have a question... you dont have any ex-girlfriends who vaguely look like Sienna Miller do you? Not that it excuses it but...

One of the lads im friends with was going out with a girl last year and went through the same thing. She was jealous of Kylie, and all small famous girls... we couldnt figure it out but then one night she told me that she didnt think he really fancied her cuz she wasnt his "type", i said dont be crazy what are you talking about, and it turns out his ex was small, so she always thought he only like small people.

It may be totally unrelated to your situation, and it is still really stupid, but it might give some background into her jealousy?

MJOR

You know it is a little bit silly of her to feel threatened unless of course you are George Clooney using a pseudoname?

niceirishfella

Give her the flick.

Splendour

Endofmyrope wrote: »

Another thing that I find very unattractive in her is that she's so into her looks. Apperanace is everything to her and it's the basis she judges everyone on.

You've hit the nail on the head then. If she judges other people mainly on their appearance, then she will most likely assume other people (including you) do too.

Just an aside here though, if when reading the papers there were 'hot' men constantly looking out at you, do you think it would make you feel less masculine and unattractive? Maybe you could swap what paper you buy and let her know you've done this as some kinda compromise.? Let her see you care.
As for good looking female stars, well it's a bit unavoidable and sounds a bit unecessary on her behalf, but she obviously has insecurities, and maybe needs some help in that area. Does she ever comment on good looking male stars? For me life just wouldn't be the same without seeing the odd Johnny Depp pic

LegacyUser

girliegirl wrote: »

Ok, I have a question... you dont have any ex-girlfriends who vaguely look like Sienna Miller do you? Not that it excuses it but...

One of the lads im friends with was going out with a girl last year and went through the same thing. She was jealous of Kylie, and all small famous girls... we couldnt figure it out but then one night she told me that she didnt think he really fancied her cuz she wasnt his "type", i said dont be crazy what are you talking about, and it turns out his ex was small, so she always thought he only like small people.

It may be totally unrelated to your situation, and it is still really stupid, but it might give some background into her jealousy?

That's interesting but my ex looks as similar to Sienna Miller as I do to George Clooney (not at all btw!). The other thing is, I'm not even that into Sienna Miller, she's a beautiful girl but I always go for dark haired girls like Angelina or Catherine Zeta Jones. This is melting my head and I think we need to break up.

i don't even wanna see her later in case she's upset that I'm watching Jonathon Ross! F*cking nuts!!

Toots

Endofmyrope wrote: »

This is melting my head and I think we need to break up.

i don't even wanna see her later in case she's upset that I'm watching Jonathon Ross! F*cking nuts!!

OK, so you don't want to see your GF later on because you're worried she'll get upset that you're watching a TV show. I agree with you here, I think you do need to break up. She sounds like a very immature and superficial girl. If I were you I'd get out now, it sounds like she'll just get worse.

davyjose

Toots85 wrote: »

OK, so you don't want to see your GF later on because you're worried she'll get upset that you're watching a TV show. I agree with you here, I think you do need to break up. She sounds like a very immature and superficial girl. If I were you I'd get out now, it sounds like she'll just get worse.

+1

Says it all really. When it gets to the stage you're frightened to see her in case she destroys your night because a good looking person was on tv, then it's time to do some strong thinking about where you're going.

LegacyUser

Hi,
Okay it is quite strange behavior, I feel for you!
Listen, whatever it is, it is more likely than not, her own insecurities over something. But everyone on here is saying it's about her own body image, whereas it may not actually be. Just putting this out there as another possibility.
Just caught my attention, when you were saying she was describing you as 'perve', and 'sleaze'. Because her behavior seems to be so extreme and only specifying towards celebrities, and not your female friends, and judging from her choice of words when describing how she sees you in relation to women in magazines or on the telly etc, she may have some issue about you as a man objectifying these women. (Obviously you're not, but it's her insecurities speaking, please bare with me!) I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well! Like you're seeing these women only as an object, which lessens her view of you completely, and in turn creates doubts in her mind about the reasons that you're with her etc. (Obviously if that's the case that would be something she would need to work on).

Her reaction seems to be more of a repulsion towards you, so it just feels like it could be more of a problem like what I've just described, as opposed to jealousy over body image. This could stem from some sort of previous experience, like a man not treating her well in a previous relationship or abuse etc, where she was objectified, so any sort of indication (even if they're created in her head) of you objectifying women makes you (in her eyes) comparable to whatever previous experience that she has had of that herself.

Obviously only speculating and could be completely off the mark, but am speaking from my own experience (very, very much dulled down from her reaction though!).

Good luck with it.

Silverfish

I think you could be bang on the money there.

iloverocknroll

i think your gf may have some serious self esteem and confidence issues that need confronting... the reason i think she doesnt get jealous over your female friends is because she does trust you and knows you wouldnt do anything wit them... where as celebs are concerned by certain men these are idolised and really lusted after and are somtimes openly lusted after wit mate.... it may seem like harmless banter but if your gf is lacking in confidence it would really get to her... she also may feel that she has to live up to these celebs even though your not wantin her to.... you have to sit her down and talk and not get angry wit her but try and see things from her point of view ask her why she acts the way she does.....

hockeygirl

Hey OP any update... have you spoken to the gf??

p

It sounds like all the talking you've done about this has been during a fight, when temperatures are high.

I'd suggest talking to her about it very calmly at a time when you're both relaxed. Everyone has their issues, and it's understandable for a girl not to want to 100% uncomfortable if her boyfriend is seeing some hot girl on TV in front of them. You're supposed to be the object of your affection, not those girls. Her reaction may be extreme, but it's understandable. Remember she cares for you, and she wants you to only have eyes for her. It's a nice idea, but isn't quite workable unless you live on an island.

Talk to her calmly, ask how she feels. Ask how she feels about male film stars and if that affects her feelings for you. It's all about communication. If you're with someone, sometimes you'll have to coax things out of them slowly, but surely. This isn't a big enough issue to break up with someone over, but it's a big enough issue that you must discuss it calmly, openly in a non judgemental fashion. If you do that, it will stand considerably well to your ongoing relationship.

akamossy

While yes she may have some self-esteem issues, its not really an excuse to fly off the handle at her boyfriend over these things. I'm not the most confident person in the world but i don't care if my boyfriend fancies famous women... hey why not?? they are definately hotter than me but the thing is i know hes with me and if he didn't want me he wouldn't be so why waste my time getting annoyed over insignificant things. Him fancying a famous woman has no bearing on our personal relationship.

Do sit down and talk with her, but she also has to be willing to compromise with you. I don't think that either of you should be seen as the victim in the conversation, just calmly talk about her behaviour and ways to change this. If unsolved it most definately could break up the relationship.

Martron

Look i will be honest i have not had a chance to read the other posts yet but the second i saw this thread it strted alarm bells ringing.

an EX of mine was exactly like that. it got to the stage where i could not even watch tv without her asking the question is she prettier than me. Anyway she was extremely jealous ..... i was going out with her for 2 years before i had enough. she said she would change but its in her genes i suppose and she could not!!!

anyway sienna miller seems to be your thorn in her side. mine was at the time was natalia imbruglia. i had the mother of all arguments when i met her in dublin she was doing some sort of album song thing. long story short i had a picture taken with her. she flipped the lid.( it would not have woked out with me and natalia she was tiny)

she wont change. unless you can live with it( which you should not have to) its your loss in the long run . there is normal girls out there that dont get jealous. and i would seriously have second thoughts about your relationship.

just be wary and dont let it go on as long as i did without sorting it

skywalker

Endofmyrope wrote: »

we were all out a few weeks ago and she turned to me laughing and said 'oh my God, I'm embarassed to be seen with the lads tonight, look at Damiens shirt!' None of you know how to dress'....this kinda thing.

Man Id break up with a girl over a comment like that alone, thats a disgusting way to behave.

LegacyUser

hockeygirl wrote: »

Hey OP any update... have you spoken to the gf??

Hey,

Well, my girlfriend was so annoyed with me (even though I didn't do anything) that I had to beg her to come
over on Friday so we could talk. I sat her down and explained to her that I love her and want to be with her
but that she is driving me away with this baseless jealousy. I told her that I do find hot woman attractive same
way she finds hot men attractive. There's n point pretending that I don't. I also told her that I'm a grown man and I'll
watch whatever the h*ll I want to watch on TV. She got upset and said it's different for men. She said woman 'admire'
hot men but men 'perve' over hot woman. Basically, we couldn't see eye to eye so I don't really see a future for us.
If she freaks at me one more time cause an attractive girl comes on TV, It's over. No more chances for her. No other man
would put with her so why should I. There are plenty of sane girls out there.

akamossy

Good for you OP! Theres no justification in what she said.. i perve over good looking men but seriously there are loads of women out there who will not treat you like this.

Rayven199

Your girlfriend is obviously extremely lacking in confidence,to make a comment like that about your friends to make herself feel better (better than them) is the type of thing someone with low self esteem would do. She is into appearances because to her appearance is EVERYTHING,I would bet that the reason she freaks out about celebrities (as opposed to "real girls") is because celebrities are the definition of perfection (or so she would think,and she probably thinks that this is what every guy wants to have and that you are only settling for her because you cant have Sienna miller) she probably has a great figure and is good looking and takes care of herself but she obviously has hang ups about her appearance and tends to focus on the negative side of everything .

No amount of praise or re-assurance will make her change,she has to do something about it herself,she obviously has a massive complex that will not easily be resolved. I think she needs to talk to someone about it because there is a root to every problem which needs to be sorted out,otherwise she will be miserable for the rest of her life and will make any partner miserable also.
If you want to stay with her then talking to someone is about the only solution I can see to the problem. It is not a problem that you can fix.
Sorry for the long winded comment and Best of luck with everything!

Star Lord

Beruthiel wrote: »

Tell her that.
Tell her you love her madly but these crazy outbursts of hers are slowly ruining your relationship.
Tell her she comes across as a total psycho and that you need her to take a long hard look at this behaviour before it's too late.
This comes down to her lack of self esteem, she obviously feels threatened by these great looking women.

^^^ This.

What I'd say to you OP is this:
No doubt the guys make comments about the girls on the telly etc... all guys do.
Do you make similar comments to/about her? (in private to her of course)
Do you compliment her the same way you'd make comments about such women?

Good luck and I hope you can both sort something out, as you're obviously a patient and tolerant fella.

Martron

Endofmyrope wrote: »

Hey,

Well, my girlfriend was so annoyed with me (even though I didn't do anything) that I had to beg her to come
over on Friday so we could talk. I sat her down and explained to her that I love her and want to be with her
but that she is driving me away with this baseless jealousy. I told her that I do find hot woman attractive same
way she finds hot men attractive. There's n point pretending that I don't. I also told her that I'm a grown man and I'll
watch whatever the h*ll I want to watch on TV. She got upset and said it's different for men. She said woman 'admire'
hot men but men 'perve' over hot woman. Basically, we couldn't see eye to eye so I don't really see a future for us.
If she freaks at me one more time cause an attractive girl comes on TV, It's over. No more chances for her. No other man
would put with her so why should I. There are plenty of sane girls out there.

this is freaky i think you are dating my ex

hockeygirl

wow... firstly well done on managing to get her to come over and trying to have an adult conversation.

Pity she didnt live up to it though. She has some serious self esteem issues that going by your post I have a feeling she wont get over during your time together.

You mustve been pretty peeved at her 'perve' comment. I would be.... if I was a guy that it is . Your girlfriend seems to have a pretty low opion of guys if she thinks that..... I amazed she can actually bring herself to have a boyfriend in the first place.

She mustve had a bad experience at some stage in her life to have this sort of jealousy. It could be from anything... and ex boyf.. maybe her brothers or dad make comments about woman... a life time listening to that would be bad for any young woman

Fair play to you though for giving her another chance. You seem like a really decent guy... I have no doubt you'd get snapped up in a min if you were on the market and going by your post and your previous posts about her behavour it looks like you'll be heading that way shortly.

If you do decide to break up in the end make sure you're very clear about your reasons for doing so. The lessons that hurt the most are the ones that stick to you and help to change you for the better.

Good luck and keep us posted...


PS: I have a few single cute friends who are perfectly normal in everyway... matchmaker extraordinare!!!