When is the right time to tell someone you love them?

LegacyUser

I have been going out with a woman now for a month and a half, and I really feel strongly for her.

When I was younger I always found the words "I love you" easy to roll off, but with this woman I really do love her, but I'm afraid to say it in case I scare her away.

She recently got out of a long relationship so I probably came at a bad time... I know I should wait, but a part of me really wants to tell her.

Your advice?

Damzilla

I don't think there is any hard and fast rule when it comes to telling someone how you feel about them. When the time is right you will know. Has she given you any indication that she feels the same for you?

lolli

If you love her tell her!! Honesty is the best policy, i know you have to be kinda wary of scaring her away but I think its always best to be honest.

Good luck, hope it works out for you!!

DenMan

Hi OP

There is no point in rushing head on into it. If she came out of another relationship recently then it wouldn't be fair on either of you to tell her you love her. Just be there for her. She is probably going through a bad time and would need some friendship and somebody who is a close friend to be near her. If you jump right in, you might regret it and this could damage the relationship you already have with her. Your call.

SheRa

I think that it depends on how long she is out of her last relationship as well. How recent was her last relationship breakup?

lolli

DenMan wrote: »

Hi OP

There is no point in rushing head on into it. If she came out of another relationship recently then it wouldn't be fair on either of you to tell her you love her. Just be there for her. She is probably going through a bad time and would need some friendship and somebody who is a close friend to be near her. If you jump right in, you might regret it and this could damage the relationship you already have with her. Your call.

Hmm actually he does talk a lot of sense, I guess it depends on the type of person she is. If it was me i would like to know but then again I know a lot of girls who would run the other way very quickly too

NoQuarter

honesty most certaintly is not the best policy!

have some tact about you man, wait fora while thats perhaps socially acceptable, taboo is that a month is a bit too short, give it a while, theres nothing to gain from saying it this early, a lot to lose though....

lolli

king-stew wrote: »

honesty most certaintly is not the best policy!

...

Yeah ok, i changed my mind when I thought about it :P

estar

unless she says it first!

you can show her love without saying it

Gross Halfwit

Exactly .. show her don't tell her. If you love her then just love her.

The only reason why people say I Love You is to hear it said back as an affirmation of their feelings & a sign of acceptance ... in my opinion, that is.

Be there for her, care for her & be all the things to her that she wants & needs ... She'll say it first. Actions speak louder than words ...

srdb20

Be careful here man, may scare her off, she may be on the rebound... how long of a relationship was she in and when did it finish up?

How Strange

Personally (and I stress it's a personal sentiment) if someone told me they loved me after a month I'd run a mile because I'd doubt their sincerity. You may be infatuated and loved up and got that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach but IMO that's not love.

But then again I'm a sceptic and would be very doubtful that someone could truly love anyone in such a short space of time and I know it would take me around 6 months to decide if I was in love with someone.

I'd say just go with the flow, let things evolve naturally and see where you are in a couple of months. It's not a race to see who's the first one to say I love you. If it all works out well, and I hope it does, you'll have all the time you need to say I love you ad nauseum.

LegacyUser

I'd say hold off a while not because i doubt your sentiment or her feelings towards you but you may scare her off

LegacyUser

Okay, well to clear some things up.

She was going out with this last guy for 3 years, but it's been about 6 months since they split up. What bothers me is she was telling me how quickly she got over him. She sometimes comes across as if she's just in it for the idea of having a boyfriend, I honestly don't know.

The thing is, on Monday I leave the country for a month and I won't see her for a while, and I wanted to tell her before I left, but I guess you guys are right, I should just show it and keep my big mouth shut.

Beruthiel

toosoon wrote: »

The thing is, on Monday I leave the country for a month and I won't see her for a while, and I wanted to tell her before I left.

I'd echo the not tell her just yet. It is a bit too soon.
I am always saying actions speak louder than words, so just showing her you care is better than saying it a 100 times.

Give her a gift just before you leave. Check the type of jewelry she normally wears and buy her something like that.
It will remind her of you while you are away.

meditraitor

toosoon? wrote: »

I have been going out with a woman now for a month and a half, and I really feel strongly for her.

When I was younger I always found the words "I love you" easy to roll off, but with this woman I really do love her, but I'm afraid to say it in case I scare her away.

She recently got out of a long relationship so I probably came at a bad time... I know I should wait, but a part of me really wants to tell her.

Your advice?

Tell her.

Life is too short.;)

onedmc

toosoon? wrote: »

I have been going out with a woman now for a month and a half, and I really feel strongly for her.

When I was younger I always found the words "I love you" easy to roll off, but with this woman I really do love her, but I'm afraid to say it in case I scare her away.

She recently got out of a long relationship so I probably came at a bad time... I know I should wait, but a part of me really wants to tell her.

Your advice?

Just after she tells you she loves you

RedXIV

I like to think i have the worst story ever with this phrase

Fancied a girl for nigh on 2 years, finally made the connection, Red waited a grand total of *drum roll* 3 days! oh how she ran.

Anyways, (I have a point, I swear) I'd STRONGLY agree with the idea of showing you love her before you say you do. apparently women find the the little actions of thoughtfulness that guys can come up hugely endearing and i would think of doing something to show you love her, spoil her a little bit before you go, and agree with Beruthiel on giving her something visiable to remind her of you.

Best of luck

Red