Temporary housemates trying to fleece me?

CamillaRhodes

This is a pretty light, minor issue as PIs go, but I could really do with some advice from other people.

I'm in Italy at a 2 week summer school. I'm sub-letting a room in a house with two PhD students, and the deal was I'd pay 250 euros for the room for 2 weeks, including bills. I hadn't seen them since I arrived on Saturday night, but this evening they came in with groceries and told me I owed them 45 euros.

Now, I probably wouldn't be too pissed off, apart from the fact that they had invited me (by text) to come shopping with them, and then left before I got home from summer school, and gave me no say in the items being purchased (some of which are quite crazily expensive - they showed me the receipt - e.g. 8 euros on salami!!!). Plus, I really don't think I'm gonna get through 45 euros worth of groceries in 2 weeks - I intend to eat out alot, since I'm in Italy! Plus (again), being honest, I'm kinda unimpressed by how unfriendly they've been, and feel like telling them to f*** off. I'll buy my own groceries.

But, I worry that telling them i'm not paying for their groceries is gonna create a bad atmosphere in the house, I have to live here for another almost-2 weeks, should I just suck it up? Advice would be good, thanks

tinkerbell

They are defo trying to fleece you. By going off buying stuff that you have no say in? Tell them you won't be paying the €45 but you also won't go near the food that they bought. Say you'll buy whatever small bits & bobs you need for yourself and not to assume that you need groceries again.

Pub07

Lol, the cheek of them. Id tell em to go and fook themselves.

Gumbyman

Absolutely. Are they Italian? Is it a cultural thing? Tell them to go to Hell. Or else invite them to the pub, leave before they get there and then demand they split the costs of your Champagne (or Prosecco) session.

cowzerp

just say no thanks and dont touch there groceries! feck them if there not happy..they are taking the piss

Oryx

tinkerbell wrote: »

They are defo trying to fleece you. By going off buying stuff that you have no say in? Tell them you won't be paying the €45 but you also won't go near the food that they bought. Say you'll buy whatever small bits & bobs you need for yourself and not to assume that you need groceries again.

Agree with this. Stay polite about it and hopefully it wont be an issue that will make your stay unpleasant. Assume it was a wrong assumption that you would want food, done in a well meaning way. But dont pay, and dont eat their food!

AngryBadger

Depends on yourself OP.

I'd be unimpressed by anyone buying food on my behalf then handing me a whopping bill for food I had no intention of eating. BUT, it may be that they do this usually and just assumed you'd be happy to partake, although I find that hard to believe.

I have found some nationalities can be, maybe not unfriendly, but very stand-offish, and often quite abrupt, which can seem unfriendly, but is jsut a cultural thing.

If it were me I'd tell them i wasn't paying for the food because I had no intention of eating it. However as you say that will create an atmosphere, and do you want to spend 2 weeks in that atmosphere?

You're there as part of your phD studies, is the stress of a bad atmosphere going to interfere with your studies?

If you feel it is, then maybe just pay the €45, although again I have to say that I'd feel very strongly about not doing that, but your studies are the most important thing while you're there, so maybe chalk it up to experience on this occasion.

MJOR

Oryx wrote: »

Agree with this. Stay polite about it and hopefully it wont be an issue that will make your stay unpleasant. Assume it was a wrong assumption that you would want food, done in a well meaning way. But dont pay, and dont eat their food!

i agree... feck that for a game of soilders €8 on salami??? I'd want the pizza and all for that

CamillaRhodes

Ok, quite a resounding "f*** 'em" from you guys - am glad to hear it's not just me being a grumpy tight-arse! Re my studies, tbh, since I've seen the housemates as little as I have to date, I don't think it's gonna make a huge amount of difference to me whether there's a bad atmosphere with them or not. I guess I'd just kinda hoped it would be a nice, friendly environment here, and it's not, and I didn't want to add to it. But 45 stinkin' euros...?!?!

So, I'm thinking I'll say to the guy "Listen, thanks for offering to share your groceries with me, but I really prefer to buy my own, especially since I won't be eating here so often". Is that nice enough, while getting the point across?

He's upstairs on his laptop, other girl has gone out (he's italian, she's french, btw). Should I go knock on his door, or wait til he brings it up?

AngryBadger

I'd expect an argument no matter how you do it, maybe I'm wrong but be prepared for that.

I'd leave him come to you, go about your business, eat out, don't touch their food, and then when he comes to you sweetly point out that you didn't eat anything, and therefore why should you pay for food you didn't ask them to purchase on your behalf.

cowzerp

no-go to him, otherwise they'll be expecting money from ya, just tell them your not eating in..and your not into that type of food anyway!!

Linoge

Just say that in Ireland this and in Ireland that..... blame everything on cultural differences. You have a tradition in Ireland where if you are in someones house under a sublet that you must buy your own groceries or else it makes the Leprechauns angry.

If they don't buy your excuse, however lame, or try to openly take offense they are defo trying to take advantage of you and you should take solemn in the fact that you didn't let them away with it.

CamillaRhodes

Ah ya know what guys, after all your support, I totally caved. I was all set to tell the guy to feck his groceries, and then I started getting so nervous and uncomfortable, I thought sod it, it's worth 45 euros to buy myself absence from anxiety about this (I'm a bit of a worrier at the moment). I also decided I would totally make myself at home on their groceries, something I'd never normally dream of doing, and have made myself a nice dinner and opened a bottle of wine. They might think I'm cheeky, but I think they're bloody cheeky.

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for the moral support anyway. Sometimes I think just being able to grumble about things and have a bunch of other people say "yeah, you're dead right for being annoyed", that in itself makes you feel better. Cheers, all

LoanShark

Tell The Straight...
Ireland voted No and Told Europe to go away and have another think about Lisbon and You telling them to arise and go and re-count their grocery bill aint gonna be any different..

davyjose

CamillaRhodes wrote: »

Ah ya know what guys, after all your support, I totally caved. I was all set to tell the guy to feck his groceries, and then I started getting so nervous and uncomfortable, I thought sod it, it's worth 45 euros to buy myself absence from anxiety about this (I'm a bit of a worrier at the moment). I also decided I would totally make myself at home on their groceries, something I'd never normally dream of doing, and have made myself a nice dinner and opened a bottle of wine. They might think I'm cheeky, but I think they're bloody cheeky.

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for the moral support anyway. Sometimes I think just being able to grumble about things and have a bunch of other people say "yeah, you're dead right for being annoyed", that in itself makes you feel better. Cheers, all

This is te best approach I reckon. Sometimes you have to know when an argument isn't worth it, and like you said, you can go nuts on the food now.

Civilian_Target

Gumbyman wrote: »

Absolutely. Are they Italian? Is it a cultural thing?

Actually, it is a cultural thing. I live in the south of France, and it works the same way. And yes, good salami costs 8 euros. This is normal, and to be honest, it's at most 10 euros more than it would have cost you anyway. Is your happiness worth 10 euros? You were right to pay!

speaktofrank

I don't see this as a cultural thing I live in the south of France but if my housemates did this to me I would tell them where to go. They wouldn't in the first place though. How the feck did they end up paying 135 euro on food, are they expecting a blizzard?
I assume it was 45 each and not 45 between the 3 of you.

Imposter

That's probably just a weeks shopping!

hungryhippo

45 over 2 weeks is roughly 3Euro per day. Not an unreasonable amount imo.
I take it you brought your own toilet paper?

Linoge

LoanShark wrote: »

Tell The Straight...
Ireland voted No and Told Europe to go away and have another think about Lisbon and You telling them to arise and go and re-count their grocery bill aint gonna be any different..

Fabulous metaphor there:rolleyes:

Yeah, you prob did the right thing OP. Hungry Hippo is right about the toilet roll and other stuff like washing up liquid that you might not even think about! I think the main problem with the OP is that he had no say in what they bought at all.

Anyway, eat up, you're at you Aunties!

And lol @ Imposter. What happens when they come back looking for €45 off you next week??

This reminds me of the times I shared apartments with one or more French people. They were ALWAYS demanding money off me for things I had no say in and didn't use. They take it upon themselves to buy 'stuff' for the house, acting like they're doing you a favour, and it always ends up costing 10 times what it would to do it yourself. Every single time this has happened to me. When I lived in Spain there was a French couple who would ask for 20e of each housemate (and there were 5 of us!) for 'flat essentials'. And this was every 1-2 months. How on earth can you spend 100e on toilet paper and cleaning stuff? They bought things like hot chocolate, which only they drank, and they drank it every single day, so they needed a new tub every week. We were basically subsidising all their food, and they saw nothing wrong with it! Then last year, I moved into a flat here with French people and they demanded 30 euro towards the cost of a tablecloth they'd bought before I moved in, and called me stingy and mean for questioning it! They claimed it was for the flat, so I should chip in They also presented me with 80 euro worth of ESB bills from before I moved in and said I had to pay them. Yes, it might be 'cultural differences' but I have no time for people who use that as an excuse for ripping people off and taking advantage. You can chalk this up to a bad experience, OP, but be very wary of who you might flatshare with in the long term. I learned the hard way that some people have no qualms about ripping you off, like they'd prefer to live with a bad atmosphere than lose 50 cents!

copeyhagen

CamillaRhodes wrote: »

Ah ya know what guys, after all your support, I totally caved. I was all set to tell the guy to feck his groceries, and then I started getting so nervous and uncomfortable, I thought sod it, it's worth 45 euros to buy myself absence from anxiety about this (I'm a bit of a worrier at the moment).

bad move, i would have told them where to go and stil late all teir food when i was drunk. have the ebst of both worlds

MagicMarker

meh, 45 euros isn't a huge amount... Just make sure to eat twice that:) Enjoy your salami;)

WindSock

I would have gone through the list and paid for only what I would use.
Ah, actually, maybe I wouldn't. I don't think I'd be complaining if 45E was going on 2 weeks worth of food.

DenMan

Shopping in Italy and not asking you what you wanted. That could be a problem. Are they just buying too much or is it Italian prices are too pricey? (which they can be in certain places). You may have to just suck this one up I'm afraid. Next time have yourself there when they will go on their next shop. And by they way, this week...Pig out....You are paying for it.