Fear of confrontation

JMCD

Hi guys.....just wondering if any body here can help or direct me in the right way.....

Basically I have a young cousin whos 16 and he was always up to mischief and what not on his ma, but I persuaded him to go down and join the local ABC so he would have something to direct his boundless enegy into whilst keeping him of the street and learning some discipline along the way.

Thankfully he loves it and has become really dedicated and has changed a lot in a positive way but the only thing is he has had 2 bouts and both have been disastrous! He in his own words "****s himself" when in a confrontational situation......He just freezes and cant do a single thing! Even he trips over his own feet! The first time we just put it down to nerves as he hardly slept a wink the night before.......and he was sayin "I will get it right" but he hasnt!

The reason this is kinda bothering me is that its starting to get him down a bit but also because he is a handy little boxer......I know that might seem silly seen as all his bouts have been terrible but seen him spar and in and around the gym he has potential......So if anyone has any books you could recommend or websites or anything that could help him get out of this hurdle will be greatly appreciated. Thanks:)

dlofnep

Good thread - I totally freeze in a competition environment. Too much build up, I end up turning into a bag of nerves.

yomchi

Everyone is on the same boat really. It's how you perform under the stress of it is what makes everybody different, the starting point is the same for everyone. At only 16 he has plenty of time to build on it and put things right and he will, if he loves the sport. Mike Tyson in his amateur days would cry before bouts he was so nervous. One of Irelands toughest Taekwon-Do fighters (back in the day off full contact no pads) Liam Dandy often spent the time before a fight in the tiolet throwing up. So this is not uncommon even among greats. Alot will depend on his coach too, and how he's being prepared for fights, most coaches will think that hitting the pads and sparring well is the only pre requisite for a competition fight. There's more to building up the confidence of a teenager in this field. He should be sparring strangers frequently and visiting strange clubs regularly too for spars as well as him sparring tougher opponents and opponents he can beat easily, it's all part of mental development. At 16 I wouldn't worry too much about the deeper psychological training that can be used. It's important he keeps enjoying his sport though.

yomchi

I totally freeze in a competition environment. Too much build up

Remove yourself from the build up! Don't be a part of it.
No matter how many times I compete I always feel great after it, no matter if I win or lose. So i've learned to look forward to that feeling after it, obviously a win is fantastic but fighting well against good opposition is also a good thing. Preparation is everything, if you've cut corners you'll know it on the day and be worried. If you're at the top of your game you'll be relaxed and look forward to the match, if you warm up right you'll also perform right.
Mental and physical build up must be in tandum.

DAGEROUSDAVE

This is a good thread:

http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f14/mental-toughness-425018/#post10832824

Roper

I used to have the opposite- too relaxed and not aggressive enough from the off! Jon's put the mail on the head there as there's a fine balance to be struck between mental and physical preperation.

I don't know the kid obviously, but if I were his coach I'd have a game plan for him, even if it was just his first combo. If he had something to focus on like "I will fire off a simple one two as soon as I can" rather than have him worrying about the variables it might help. Nerves are horrible but part of the experience and the good news is that if he conquers those he'll be set!

NaoiseC

Just a qualifier first, I'm far from an expert but have studied some sports psych. Maybe it's less fear of confrontation and more over arousal - leading to anxiety due to bad experiences in his first 2 bouts. He's now nervous about being nervous (if that makes any sense).

From the little I covered on sports psych, levels of emotional arousal can have a big impact for some people. Optimal levels for most people are generally seen as half way between fully relaxed and fully hyped. If you are naturally hyped, you need far less that others to achieve optimal (and may even need relaxation). Classic example used by my lecturer was the 1991 fa cup final. Everyone on the spurs team were brought to optimal levels of arousal by a pre-match talk by the team's new sports psychologist - except for Gazza who is obviously naturally highly strung. This wasn't taken into account, and he went out like a lunatic and launched into 2 crazy challenges. Was stretchered off, but probably would have been sent off if he didn't injure himself more than the other person.

Again, may not be the best person for advice but maybe your nephew could work on relaxation. A common one sports psych talks about is pre-event rituals that he can visualise and/or do before the event. This can be as simple as doing a walk around the ring taking deep breaths when he gets in, or anything that will make him more comfortable when it comes to the event.

IMHO, most important thing would be to get him to stop worrying about it and recognise that it happens to a lot of people in their first few & will pass. You say he's good in sparring, so remind him the skills are there. Maybe get him to focus on that, try to relax treat & the bout like another sparring session in his head. You'd imagine that as he gets more bouts under his belt it will get easier as he gets more comfortable anyway.

JMCD

Thanks for the replies guys.........Touching on the point of being over hyped I think that really hit the nail on the head esp if he is losing sleep a night or 2 prior to the fight.

Might try and encoruage him to look into some sort of relaxation/meditation and if hes calm in the ring this might be able to allow him express himself a little bit more and a little bit BETTER

And also remind him of how good he would feel after the bout if he can learn to deal with the nerves might also be handy motivational tool.

Cheers guys

Judomad

i noticed that i do be very relaxed before my last few fights and lost 3 in a row, i went from being nervous in my first two fights(a draw and a win) to being relaxed(possibly too relaxed) and lost 3 in a row, then in my most recent fight i had to hurry with prep as the fights ended sooner than expected(walking to the cage putting gloves on haha) but i was anxious, and ended up being more aggressive and won the fight....co-in-ki-dink........i think not :D:p:D:p