Meeting the ex's...

Captain Ginger

Well, tonight I'm going over to my girlfriends house, but she's having a Poker night and has invited her friends, this isn't a problem in itself, but there are two guys there who either have history with her (one for two years) or who want to get romanticly involved with her.

Now, I could do without meeting them in all honesty but I don't want to be rude so I decided to go along. The Poker game will have some drinking games tied to it, and I'm a little bit worried some trouble might start with two of the lads against me (the two are best friends) over the girl.

I'm wondering if I should say I can't go to the night (make an excuse) with prevention being the best cure and all. But then another part of me doesn't want to be bullied by these guys to the point were I can't meet up with my girlfriend if they're there.

Anyone else been in this situation? Advice as always is welcome.

Thanks.

all the stars

bit of perspective:

If the Ex was so amazing - they'd still be an item, Therefore you - are the man.

Aurora Borealis

Go but don't bother engaging in any mind games with the two lads. Just be friendly. It's their problem if they can't be normal with you and who knows they might be. Your girlfriend is with you and any romance with these two is in the past. Relax.

Chinafoot

Captain Ginger wrote: »

I'm wondering if I should say I can't go to the night (make an excuse) with prevention being the best cure and all. But then another part of me doesn't want to be bullied by these guys to the point were I can't meet up with my girlfriend if they're there.

Are they 15? Are you 15? Why would you be bullied by these people that you haven't even met?

If your girlfriend is comfortable enough with these 2 guys that she is happy to invite them to her house for drinks, why would you have a problem? They're obviously her friends regardless of any history.

Don't go looking for issues where there are none. If you go in there on the defensive or start avoiding social situations because of them, the only one to lose out will be you. Go and meet them and have a good time. Who knows, you could end up making some good friends.

Captain Ginger

Yeah, you guys make good points thanks, it's just my concern is if they get drunk and decide to start on me, which I really don't want.

Colonel_McCoy

Your girlfriend is with you and not with them for a reason..........go in, chest out, head up and handle it.........you will be the Big Dogg!

Chinafoot

Captain Ginger wrote: »

Yeah, you guys make good points thanks, it's just my concern is if they get drunk and decide to start on me, which I really don't want.

I'm going to assume you're all adults here. Why on earth would they "start on" you?

Seriously, if you go with that kind of attitude you're going to be the one causing the hassle, not them.

all the stars

some more perspective :

they get drunk and start a row, you get to be the sober (ish) person who is mature, and ignores their efforts to ruin your & your girlfriends evening.
For bein mature, and considerate: you- are still the man.

Captain Ginger

Chinafoot wrote: »

I'm going to assume you're all adults here. Why on earth would they "start on" you?

Seriously, if you go with that kind of attitude you're going to be the one causing the hassle, not them.

Age groups from 17 - 25, from what I have heard one of them isn't exactly a gent. And it's not so much an attitude as much as it is concern.

RedXIV

Don't be snotty, be polite, be fun and do whatever they want to do.

This sounds like being a pushover but wait, there's method behind the madness.

Being snotty to people she obviously regards as friends is a blatant no no.

being polite to these leaves them nothing to pick you up on.

Being fun and jokey and laughing everything off will present you as a pleasant individual.

Don't spend the night trying to be overprotective, that will piss off EVERYONE, get to know her mates. The better you know them, the more you know about her. use this as an exercise to find out more about your missus.


Most important. Don't get drunk

Chinafoot

Captain Ginger wrote: »

Age groups from 17 - 25, from what I have heard one of them isn't exactly a gent. And it's not so much an attitude as much as it is concern.

Reserve judgement until you meet them. He can't be that bad if she has invited him along.

Again, if you go in expecting trouble you can be guaranteed you'll find it. She'll notice and so will her friends and you'll be the one looking like a fool.

Go and enjoy yourself.