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This girl has me totally confused

  • 16-06-2008 3:26am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I met a girl at a party about two months ago and I thought we really hit it off. I noticed she tended to make eye contact with me a lot and even when I wasn't looking directly at her and we stayed up till 4am talking, alone. She really left an impression on me so I decided to see where things could go. I sent her a text next day asking if she wanted to go on a date sometime but she said she had a bf so that was that! Two weeks later she sent me an instant message, telling me that her bf had cheated on her, and that "we should just see how things go", we being myself and her presumably - I was majorly confused now but didn't do anything about it.

    We have been messaging intermittently on MSN and I met her at another party last week where we were talking away. She went off for a while with one of my best friends to get "drinks", who insists nothing happened at all and I have every reason to trust him, but I left early that night in a major sulk thinking they were getting up to shenanigans. I have been talking to her once or twice online but am so wound up over it that I don't know what to do. I'm not sure whether she's genuinely interested in me, or is just a flirt machine or whether I'm just seeing something that isn't there.

    Any insight would be appreciated, thanks!


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Unless you had someone else confirm she and her bf aren't still fully committed i'd steer clear. If she was making eyes at you BEFORE her bf cheated on her, this doesn't inspire alot of confidence.

    Don't get me wrong, i realise in a relationship, people window shop but her deciding a mere week after meeting you and her bf cheating on her sounds like you're either the rebound guy or the affair guy.

    Also, trust your friend. you've known her a week, him for alot longer. NEVER comprimise a previously perfect friendship for a woman you know nothing about. you'll regret it in the long run


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭colly10


    Just try put it out of your head, take it that nothings going to happen between you to avoid getting your hopes up and having your head wrecked, if anything happens then it's a bonus


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 432 ✭✭RealEstateKing


    she's in one of those stormy relationships where each partner flirts with/cheats with other people to mess with the head of the other.

    Her boyfriend has done his bit of cheating, now she wants to get back at him, and you're a guy she knows she can use for that, so she gave you a call.

    Stay away. People like that end up dragging everybody into their own dysfunction.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    Depends on what you're looking for OP.

    If you just fancy a tumble in the hay then there's no harm in playing along and seeing what happens. She's single now (I assume) you're both adults, and if that's all you want then you're not going to get hurt.

    However, it sounds like you want more than just a tumble in the hay, but it doesn't sound like she feels the same.

    Obviously we're not getting her side here, but it sounds like she knows you're interested (from her "see how things go" comment), and yet she's not really making any effort to move things forward. That's not to say she isn['t interested, but she may need some space after the ex episode, and as RedXIV has said, I wouldn't be about to put a lot of trust in a woman who was flriting with me BEFORE she broke up with her boyfriend.

    I'd happily give her a portion, but that's all :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Colonel_McCoy


    And dont be the rebound guy!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 939 ✭✭✭Aurora Borealis


    she's in one of those stormy relationships where each partner flirts with/cheats with other people to mess with the head of the other.

    Her boyfriend has done his bit of cheating, now she wants to get back at him, and you're a guy she knows she can use for that, so she gave you a call.

    Stay away. People like that end up dragging everybody into their own dysfunction.
    And dont be the rebound guy!


    Unfortunately the lads could be onto something here.
    My advice, give this one a breather for a while and if there's still something there a few weeks down the road then ask her out face to face.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,181 ✭✭✭DenMan


    Hi OP

    It does sound that sure stuck in a bit of a mess alright. If they guy she was going out with has cheated on her you may be the rebound guy. I wouldn't wait around for that to happen. If she made eye contact with you before her bf cheated on her, that's never a good sign. Maybe she had her suspicians at the time and was testing the water, who knows? My advice, don't get involved and move on. Your choice.


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