How do I tell my girlfriend that her vagina has an unpleasant smell?

LegacyUser

Firstly, I love my girlfriend very much and would never do anything to hurt her.

But there's one issue in particular relating to sex that's really bothering me: her vagina smells very bad sometimes. It is a strong, fishy, almost sour smell, and it is preventing me from going down on her. I'm not sure that she's aware of this; if she is, she seems to think it's natural. Either way, I've never come out and said it directly, as I don't know how to do it without hurting her feelings.

I've slept with numerous women before and I've always enjoyed giving oral sex, so I know that my girlfriend is unusual in this respect. I think she may have a bacterial infection (I don't think it's down to hygiene; she's very clean) and while I know that no medical advice may be dispensed on this board, it's really emotional advice I'm seeking.

So if there're any women out there, could you please give me some tips?

Thanks,

S.

LadyE

How long are you together?

I think you should just tell her. Yes, she will be very embarressed but your not telling her to embarress her. Just say it, in a nice way of course.

She will thank you in the long run.

jellie

if it was me id rather you told me. yes its embarassing, but the longer you leave it the more embarassing it will be when eventually it comes out. unless you just want to leave it like this forever?

lee_arama

Sweet jesus man, just tell her. What's to be gained by not doing so? You'll be unhappy and in the long run that'll wreck your relationship.

It's probably something like an infection, as you've surmised, and that'll just need a prescription of some sort.

If she can't handle the truth (and we're assuming you'll broach it diplomatically) then you're better off without her...

cowzerp

Tell her there could be something fishy going on!!
and to go to the doc to get it checked...really to 2nd part.

Deadevil129

Tell her, but try to emphasise you're telling her because you're worried she might have an infection of some sort, it'll come out slightly better than "you smell and it's turning me off".

LegacyUser

yeah you could even say you think you have an infection and ask her how she is feeling-chances are you might if she does???

but you could say that,and suggest that you both get some medication for it... then you will be in the same boat and she will be none the wiser.....

AARRRGH

It depends on what type of girlfriend you have (i.e. is she the sensitive dramatic type or reasonable and level headed?)

Has her vagina always smelt bad?

chuci

if it was me id prefer to be told if something like this would be bothering you. your girlfriend is obviously oblivious to the fact that there may just be a fugal infection present and would just need a prescription to clear it up.

LegacyUser

LadyE wrote: »

How long are you together?

I think you should just tell her. Yes, she will be very embarressed but your not telling her to embarress her. Just say it, in a nice way of course.

She will thank you in the long run.

We're together since March. She's very inexperienced around men in general, and I'm her first.

Thanks for the advice.

herya

Tell her you've just noticed it recently so that she'll not go in the "oh I'm different than other girls" panicking mode if she's not very experienced. It may be an easy to cure infection but risky to be left untreated.

DáireM

I think your Girlfriend has the Clap! id say shes riddled..... Hate that

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Teddi

Daire....grow up for christ sake...:rolleyes:


Mate...it can be a sensitive subject..I'll give you that....If you approach her in a friendly....concerned way...mentioning something like "the odour there can be pretty strong sometimes" .....and NOT..."you smell really bad there"....

I know you'd probably do the former first.......just theres a good and bad way of saying it...and echoing what other people have said..she'll thank you in the long run...

If your her first....she might see it as something normal..

I wouldnt worry too much

Teddi....

Blazer

First off..does it always smell? As in bad?
Or only recently? If so tell her.
Some women have a heavier smell so as to speak than other women.

Beruthiel

DáireM wrote: »

I think your Girlfriend has the Clap! id say shes riddled..... Hate that

Banned.
B

spurious

When you say 'sometimes', can you pin it down to a particular time? Just before or after a period for example? Is there a discharge?

Can you be sure 'you' do not also have a problem? I think blonde had a good suggestion as to a way to bring it up.

lolly22

Hey op,

Well if it was me id want to know. You say you love her, so you should tell her in the nicest possible way and at the right time,or it may affect your relationship in the future.

Best of luck;)
Lolly

Jigsaw

That's a tough one OP.

I know with any of my previous girlfriends, if I had told them that they had a funky gee there would've been hell to pay.

Nevertheless, if it is an issue for you then you need to address but in the most diplomatic way you possibly can as it will be very awkward otherwise. Good luck OP.

LegacyUser

Just tell her OP.

I remember watching 'Embarrassing Illness' on Channel 4 and there was this woman who had a very bad smell coming from her vagina, turns out she was washing it too much and she was washing away the good bacteria.

Pythia

It is probably a bacterial infection. If she has been on any kind of antibiotics recently, it could have upset her natural balance. There are many other causes too. Thrush and similar infections are very common so it's nothing to worry about. She might be wondering herself but be too embarrassed to say anything. She may even think it's an STI.

It is awkward but if you have a good relationship, it will go ok.

stek

I seen this same problem on a TV documentary(street doctors or somthing like that) show recently. It turned out the the lady in question was well aware of the problem and spent alot of time cleaning taking baths etc.. Unbeknowenced to her, That was what was causing the problem!!
By cleaning too often she was removing the natural chemicals and bacteria that clean inside...
Anyway maybe you could use this info when telling her. Might help ease the blow. but deffo tell her

RuailleBuaille

You have to tell her OP.
The food we eat can play a part in vaginal odour (and the taste of semen), for example if she eats a lot of spicy food, there will be a stronger taste/ smell from her pink bits.
If I was you, I'd mention that she smells different to the last time, nothing serious but maybe she needs a trip to the doc just in case? Don't make a big deal or she'll never get over it, and you'll never get into it!
Best of luck!

Eric Cartman

might it be a hygene issue ? i reccomend just telling her, but put it nicely and be prepared to appologise like hell if she shouts

Toots

unreg87 wrote: »

Just tell her OP.

I remember watching 'Embarrassing Illness' on Channel 4 and there was this woman who had a very bad smell coming from her vagina, turns out she was washing it too much and she was washing away the good bacteria.

Also if she's using heavily scented soaps down there it can actually do more harm than good. Not trying to be sleazy here, but what sort of underwear does she usually wear? If she wears a lot of synthetic material underwear, it won't allow the area to breathe, meaning that an unpleasant smell can develop. Cotton is the best thing she could wear. She may already be aware of it, as others have said, and could be too embarrassed to do anything about it. If she's in-experienced she might even think she's got an STI or something. Has she ever done ANYTHING with a man? (ie oral or just fooling around)

Is it definitely not just her natural odour? Some women do have stronger odours than others. It might be something quite simple, like thrush which can be cleared up with an over the counter cream. You can buy it in the supermarket so it would avoid an embarrassing trip to the chemist. You could also suggest that you both go to get checked out if you're intending to continue sleeping together, so that you're both safe. (this is a good idea anyway, if you've been with other women, and if she has been with other men even if she's never had full intercourse) The doc would probably be able to tell her if there was anything wrong down there, which would mean that she'd still find out and be able to fix any problems, and you wouldn't have to be the one to tell her.

LegacyUser

Toots85 wrote: »

Also if she's using heavily scented soaps down there it can actually do more harm than good. Not trying to be sleazy here, but what sort of underwear does she usually wear? If she wears a lot of synthetic material underwear, it won't allow the area to breathe, meaning that an unpleasant smell can develop. Cotton is the best thing she could wear. She may already be aware of it, as others have said, and could be too embarrassed to do anything about it. If she's in-experienced she might even think she's got an STI or something. Has she ever done ANYTHING with a man? (ie oral or just fooling around)

Is it definitely not just her natural odour? Some women do have stronger odours than others. It might be something quite simple, like thrush which can be cleared up with an over the counter cream. You can buy it in the supermarket so it would avoid an embarrassing trip to the chemist. You could also suggest that you both go to get checked out if you're intending to continue sleeping together, so that you're both safe. (this is a good idea anyway, if you've been with other women, and if she has been with other men even if she's never had full intercourse) The doc would probably be able to tell her if there was anything wrong down there, which would mean that she'd still find out and be able to fix any problems, and you wouldn't have to be the one to tell her.

Thanks for all the helpful replies folks.

Her vagina has always smelt a little off. It gets worse the more lubricated she gets, and it can be very bad the morning after we've had sex. (I can't believe I'm actually writing this!)

And just to clarify a point. It can't be an STI because she was totally inexperienced before she met me.

Thanks again...

Talliesin

It can't be an STI, but it could be thrush, yeast, or some other infections.

If you really can't raise the matter, maybe talk about thinking it a good idea for her to have smears now that she's sexually active. Smears would catch it (or the ob-gyn while performing the smear may notice the discharge).

DenMan

Yeast? Wow I didn't even think about that? Could an over intake of yeast products cause an infection. OP this could be of use to you.

http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/yeastinfections/a/getridofyeastin.htm

Talliesin

Eh, I meant to type type that as thrush/yeast. They're the same thing (Candidiasis, for fans of big words). Already mentioned above, I was just making sure the OP wasn't ruling out all infections in ruling out STIs.

Toots

ytl wrote: »

Thanks for all the helpful replies folks.

Her vagina has always smelt a little off. It gets worse the more lubricated she gets, and it can be very bad the morning after we've had sex. (I can't believe I'm actually writing this!)

And just to clarify a point. It can't be an STI because she was totally inexperienced before she met me.

Thanks again...

OK, not trying to be gross here, but do ye use condoms? If not the mix of the two bodily fluids can sometimes produce a slightly unfresh smell. This would be exacerbated if she already had quite a strong odour.

Best bet really would be to suggest she gets a smear test. Young women who are sexually active should get tested at least once a year regardless of whether they've got any odd smells or discharge.

Say you heard this, and think she should get one, to make sure she stays healthy and safe. As Talliesin said, if it's thrush the gynie would catch it. Also if there is anything abnormal going on, they'd most likely catch this too. Just to add, if she does have thrush, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, anyone can get it and it can be cleared up quickly and easily with an over the counter cream like Canasten. The only thing is if it is thrush, make sure you use condoms until it's cleared up, as it can be passed to you, and then you may pass it back to her and so on.

LegacyUser

ytl wrote: »

Thanks for all the helpful replies folks.

Her vagina has always smelt a little off. It gets worse the more lubricated she gets, and it can be very bad the morning after we've had sex. (I can't believe I'm actually writing this!)

And just to clarify a point. It can't be an STI because she was totally inexperienced before she met me.

Thanks again...

just because she never slept with someone before doesnt mean she doesnt have an std-you may have passed something onto her but it is dormant in you... like some infections effect men an women differently,if you have slept with someone before her you could easily have passed something on without you being effected...

that said she could just have a stronger odour then other girls,also from having alot of sex that might be making an impact too?

hey, here is some helpful info...funny the poster calls herself stinky!

(1)
Dear Alice,

For like several years I have been afflicted with a really smelly crotch. It's like I sweat a lot down there and it just has a really sweaty vaginal odor. I bathe regularly but nothing really helps; by the end of the day I always smell funky. This wouldn't gross me out if it was just an occasional problem, but it happens every day. What can I do?

Thanks,
Stinky

(2)
Alice,

I have an embarrassing odor problem in the crotch area due to sweating. The odor is the same as underarm body odor. FDS didn't seem to help any. Cornstarch and powders work for about an hour. I wear only cotton panties. It seems that gel deodorants (Mitchum/Soft & Dri) are the only products that will control the odor for more than one hour (not long enough). Is using antiperspirants/deodorants harmful to my body (I do not use it in the clitoral/vaginal region, only on the "mound" of hair)? Also, how can I eliminate this sweating? My friends don't seem to have this problem. I am 32 and the problem seems to worsen each year.



Dear Stinky and Reader #2,

You bring up two related, but possibly distinct issues: vaginal odor and sweating in the genital area. They are related because sweat can be a factor in causing odor, however odor may be present even without excessive perspiration. Let's address the odor issue first. All women have a vaginal scent that is normal for them; this scent may change throughout a woman's menstrual cycle, becoming stronger and milder at times. Having a vaginal scent is normal and not considered a problem in itself. However if a woman notices that her normal scent suddenly changes, becomes much stronger, or seems foul, it may be an indication of an infection or other medical problem. (Also read Changes in vaginal scent and Body aroma.)

Troublesome vaginal odor can be caused by several factors. The most common cause is vaginal bacterial overgrowth known as bacterial vaginosis, which has a "fishy" or "musty" smell. "Fishy" smells can also result from vaginal infections, such as trichomonas vaginalis, and in some women, from semen in the vagina. The vagina could also smell "yeasty" because of vaginal yeast overgrowths. (Also check out Antibiotics and yeast infections, Yeast infection, and Burning after sex without a condom). Synthetic underwear, pantyhose, tights, and Spandex exercise clothes do not allow air to circulate around the vulva (the outer lips of the vagina). A moist, sweaty environment promotes overgrowths of normal skin bacteria that could cause vaginal odor.

A physical exam by a health care provider can determine whether vaginal odor is being caused by something that is treatable with a medication, such as for bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas, or yeast. In these cases, the unpleasant smell usually goes away after the treatment. The physical exam can also detect other health problems that might cause unusual body odors. If you are a Columbia student, you may call x4-2284 or log on to Open Communicator to make an appointment with a health care provider in Primary Care Medical Services. If you are not a Columbia student, you can visit a gynecologist or your regular health care provider.

Some basic steps to prevent run-of-the-mill vaginal odor caused by overgrowths of normal skin bacteria are to:

Wash your vulva with warm water and unscented, gentle soap with mild antibacterial action.
Wear underwear and exercise clothes made from materials that "breathe," such as cotton.
Wear loose pajama bottoms or a night gown -- or nothing at all -- to let your vulva "breathe." (read archived Alice Air out vagina at night?).
Don't douche. If deemed necessary, douching should be done only under the direction of a health care provider. Otherwise, douching is not recommended.
Here comes the link to perspiration: vaginal odor could also be caused by excessive sweating (known as hyperhidrosis) in your vaginal area because a sweaty environment allows bacteria to proliferate. Applying cornstarch can help control moisture and odor, temporarily, as you have already discovered. Alternatively, some women find they can manage any odor and sweat by bathing twice a day. Antiperspirants also help control sweating and odor, however, like you noted, it is important to avoid applying antiperspirants to mucous membranes. The labia (vaginal lips) and vagina are mucous membranes and can easily be irritated by antiperspirant, or any harsh cosmetic. In addition, it may be helpful for you to avoid conditions of excess heat, and stay clear of diets that are too high in sugar, caffeine, and alcohol, because all of these may also contribute to your problem of vaginal sweating.

Considering that you have already tried many of these remedies, you may have the best luck speaking with your health care provider about the underlying causes of the excessive perspiration. S/he may be able to prescribe a product that could provide you with more relief. You can also find more information about excessive sweating through the International Hyperhidrosis Society.

Best of luck staying dry!


http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/womenshealth/207050.html
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/womenshealth/207126.html