Crazy for a GF I dont want

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm 30 and broke up with my ex back in Aug last year after 4 years....it was a really sad time and has left me very wary of getting involved again.

Since then I've been getting my life together again and feel really positive about the future and am in some ways very glad it all happened as I made some big changes to get myself happy on my own.

One thing though...I can't stop looking at girls as potential girlfriends...it's the strangest thing. I really don't want to get involved again so soon...what's happening to me?

Has anything similar happened to anyone out there and it is a temporary thing?!!

Thanks!

do you love it?

Crazylegscrane wrote: »

Hi

I'm 30 and broke up with my ex back in Aug last year after 4 years....it was a really sad time and has left me very wary of getting involved again.

Since then I've been getting my life together again and feel really positive about the future and am in some ways very glad it all happened as I made some big changes to get myself happy on my own.

One thing though...I can't stop looking at girls as potential girlfriends...it's the strangest thing. I really don't want to get involved again so soon...what's happening to me?

Has anything similar happened to anyone out there and it is a temporary thing?!!

Thanks!

oh thats an easy one!!! youre just missing the closeness, dont you worry at all!!!
thats normal ive known alot of people to go through the very same thing!
you jhave been in a relationship for so long that it just seems odd not to be in a relationship and you miss having that closeness with a person.

tbh

yeah - it happens, and it's just something you have to go through. Try not to dwell on it too much, it's all part of life's rich tapestry

Skinfull

I'm goin through this exact same thign right now. Broke up in Feb after 12 years, just turned 30 the other day. Loving the single life, have no desire to get involved with anyone and have alot of good stuff going on at the moment...but...you know...
I miss the closeness. The hand holding and the fee hugs! My mind is so set into relationship mode for the past years I am struggling to kick it into "kick out the jams" mode!

I'm hoping this will pass...it has to right?

Kazobel

It's normal OP, it's nothing to do with affection, closeness or anything like that it's the security of being in a relationship that you're missing. Think about it, for the last 4 years you were making long term plans and thought in terms of "We" as opposed to "Me" and now that's just sort of gone so there's an adjustment period where your brain needs to get back to the "Me" thinking.

This is the cause of many a fcuked up rebound relationship because alot of people just can't get use to thinking in the "Me" tense anymore and jump straight back in just to be part of something again. Best advice is ignore it, there will be times when someone you meet feels like "the one" again but it'll be short lived and if you were to leave it and go out and meet someone else the next week chances are you'd have the same feeling again for them too.

Like all new relationships/hooks ups you're getting new found affection/attention and your brain is still in relationship mode at the moment but that affection/attention is also coming from a person who's in "make a good first impression" mode too and what you see at the start isn't nesassarly what you'll end up with at the end (as I'm sure you learned after your last 4 years) so next time you're with someone, before jumping in, take a step outside the situation and forget emotion and just try looking at it logically. Look at what you have and where you are now, remember where you were in August and make sure it's worth risking all that again (especially for someone you only know a few hours/day's). I'm not saying treat everyone like they are a potential risk straight away but at the same token don't give them the status of potential life partner straight away either. Hope that makes sense.

Colonel_McCoy

Crazylegscrane,

I am in the exact same situation, broke up in August too after 7 yrs! ............Feel the exact same as you but lately I am beginning to relax about things, I am going out loving the single life...........enjoying my space and doing whatever I want whenever I want.

At the start when I met somebody out I begin to weight them up as gf potential but slowly now I am beginning to take them as I find them and go with the flow.