British sense of humour

swalsh

Real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works
is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so
I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting
in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food?? ??

Homer

Roffles

Don't have a dog but do have a wicked sense of humour..




/off to tesco with me to buy some dog food and stand in q hoping/

Transform

LMAO

Two drunks stagger out of a pub and see a dog licking its own balls. One turns to the other and says

"Jasus i would love to do be able to do that"

The other drunk then replies

" i think you should offer him a doggie biscuit first"