Anyone have this problem??

FlutterinBantam

Now I don't have the problem myself, but strikes me that people who are,well, fairly rotund and stout have trouble cleaning their holes properly.

how do you get the badge to Blue Flag standard when it is difficult to reach back and work the paper into the eye as it were.

Looking at some of the punters walking around, male and female, one can't help thinking about the contortions they probably have to achieve to get the brown spider properly clean.

How is it done and outside the privacy of your own home, and do you have to carry around a bit of "spiff" to get rid of later??.

funk-you

Another thread/post about shitting? Jeez dude, get a girlfriend.

EDIT: oh and bidet FTW.

-Funk

FunkZ

Ah I know what ya mean. I fcuking hate going to the jacks at work/public place/college just as one the many fat guys do be leaving.

The smell of Chinese food covered in hippo ****e does be unreal sometimes.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

EXTRA EXTRA!!!!!!!

The Flutt' in non-orifice-based posting SHOCKER!!!!!!

Posters and lurkers alike were today shocked to discover that one of Boards.ie's resident gutter-monkeys missed, nay refused an opportunity to line his post with fecally-tainted puns and whatnot.

In a first for the 'Brown Bomber' as he is affectionately known in certain circles, Scutterin' Wanton earlier posted a reply that was not only unlittered with synonym's for human waste, it was completely and totally free of them.

Shocked byposters were left reeling as the Flutt's post, which is usually festooned with such beauties as 'Nipsy', 'Dangleberries' and 'one-eyed wriggling welshman', sailed past them innocuously. Some even responded with efforts to leave the door open for him to save face by leaving puntastic openings for him such as "to send a package" - Art6, "outsource" - Claire121 and "crap" - TPD; but all was to no avail.

Long-time admirer, O.C.S. alumnus and fellow smut-peddler Degsy was heard muttering to himself before wildly shouting "who are you and what the F*ck have you done with the Flutt, you imposter!!!" before heading to the jacks on the 3rd floor of his office.

Gardai even got in on the act by saying they have nothing to go on.

*sigh*...................I knew it wouldn't last.....:D

3,134 posts. All complete and utter sh1te.

Fair play.

ejmaztec

A tap on the head removes sh1t on the brain.:p

FlutterinBantam

Tad harsh,'specially as the problem wouldn't apply to you:(

Steve_o

I think you're the first person i've ever seen who's life pretty much revolves around sh*t....:p

Dave!

No I don't have that problem

Mainly cos I believe wiping to be an unnecessary modern convention

The Celts didn't wipe

Don't forget your roots folks. Don't forget your roots.

briantwin

Steve_o wrote: »

I think you're the first person i've ever seen who's life pretty much revolves around sh*t....:p

Have you forgotten this man??

Steve_o

briantwin wrote: »

Have you forgotten this man??

Touché....:D

Sherifu

Steve_o wrote: »

I think you're the first person i've ever seen who's life pretty much revolves around sh*t....:p

And of course...

thefinalstage

DaveMcG wrote: »

No I don't have that problem

Mainly cos I believe wiping to be an unnecessary modern convention

The Celts didn't wipe

Don't forget your roots folks. Don't forget your roots.

Genetically we are not that close to the Celts at all....

Maximilian

GODDAMMIT. I have statistics and percentages to adjust on the Moderators forum now thanks to this thread.

Well, I myself am no stranger to a few pints and a kebab butt (:)) I have to say that I am not personally afflicted by this terrible condition.

I am unnaturally proud of my gleaming tea-towel holder to the extent of obsession. I can often be found in the jacks with the tweeds 'round the ankles, squatting over a mirror, tweezers and moustache comb in hand making sure my rusty bullet-hole is cleansed to biblical standards.

Honestly, you could eat your dinner off it.


Also: Define Irony.......

......Thelastangryman has 1916 posts and is posting about our celtic origins (or lack thereof).

nhughes100

Arse-spider, probably my favorite in the Viz profanisarius. Although I haven't read the latest edition.

The Bollox

AH is really going down the toilet these days

*opens taxi door* hurry ffs!

Degsy

Interesting fact.
Muslims dont use toilet paper,they use the left hand.hence it is an insult to offer your left hand in greeting,wave with your left hand or eat with it.

Interesting fact 2.
Its probable that flutterinbantam has alluded to shiit in almost ALL of his 3000+ posts.Consistency and commitment on an epic scale.
I'd take my hat off to him but he'd probably take a dump in it.

thefinalstage

Degsy wrote: »

Interesting fact.
Muslims dont use toilet paper,they use the left hand.hence it is an insult to offer your left hand in greeting,wave with your left hand or eat with it.

Interesting fact 2.
Its probable that flutterinbantam has alluded to shiit in almost ALL of his 3000+ posts.Consistency and commitment on an epic scale.
I'd take my hat off to him but he'd probably take a dump in it.

Could I borrow your hat for a moment?

FlutterinBantam

Interesting fact #3

Check the Flutters posts in ..Radio... Television..Avation.. Travel... no mention of shíte in any one.

Very upset about this.

thefinalstage

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Interesting fact #3

Check the Flutters posts in ..Radio... Television..Avation.. Travel... no mention of shíte in any one.

Very upset about this.

You have now ruined your legendary AH status. Bravo.

FlutterinBantam

Just settin the record straight, there's more to the Flutt than shíte.

Tits_McGee

DaveMcG wrote: »

No I don't have that problem

Mainly cos I believe wiping to be an unnecessary modern convention

The Celts didn't wipe

Don't forget your roots folks. Don't forget your roots.

+ 1,000,000,000

yup. i agree. better have a stinky arse than a bloody cnut.