Quick One's

rocky25

An Eskimo was riding across the tundra on his snowmobile, when it started
sputtering.

The Eskimo cruised into town, and stopped at a mechanic's shop.

After five or ten minutes, the mechanic returns, and says, "Look's like you just blew a seal."

To which the Eskimo replied, "No, that's just frost on my mustache."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A man died and arrived in hell. He was met by the Devil and was told that in the new kinder gentler hell, each person is offered Three choices of torture.
The Devil explained that these tortures run in 1000 year cycles and you could pick which cycle in which to begin.

So the Devil took the man to the first room where a man was hung up by his feet and was being whipped with chains.
The man said he did not think that was where he wanted to start.

They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his arms and was being whipped by a Cat-O-Nine Tails.
The man also declined this form of torture.

The third room had a man strapped to the wall naked and a very beautiful young blonde woman was performing oral sex upon him.
The man told the Devil this is more like it, and this was the one he wanted.

The Devil said are you sure?, it lasts for 1000 years!
The man assured him that this was the punishment he wanted.

So the Devil walked over to the young woman and said "You can go now, I have found your replacement"

Mahatma coat

a lad dies, ends up in hell

so he arrives at the gate and is greeted by a pretty youn girl with a clipboard, she says, 'hello Dave, we've been expectin ya, your in suite 95677653ddf43C, heres yer key, bsrs over there, dinners from 7 til 11, we can have coke n hookers sent to yer room at any time. enjoy your stay in HELL.'

so dave is a bit confused about all this, he thinks to himself this must be some kind joke, he's really gone to heaven after all and settles in at the bar content with his eternity.

however after a few months it becomes quite clear tha he is in fact in hell from conversations he's havin at the bar, and the fact that the divvil himself is there runnin the bar.

so he decides to have a look around,
the place is pretty nice, large golfcourses, daily horseracin, 24 hour bars, coke n hookers are on tap, need a car theres ferraris outside, in general the mutts nuts of an establishment.

cept for one bit, just off to the left as tou look out the bar window is a pit, with a sign sayin CAUTION DO NOT ENTER, but sein as this Kat was already dead curiosity got the better of him.

so over he wanders, peers in over the Guardrail and


there before his eyes is Miltons seventh circle of hell, there a flaming lakes of sulphur, there are souls writhing in agony, there are demons with pitchforks doing <unmentionable here> things, all in all everything he was ever told hel was, and a lot more pain.

shaken and taken aback he staggers back to the Bar.

He orders and double whisky, and as satan pours the drink he wonders whats the f'n catch, so he ask him.

"Oh Lucifer, Princer of darkness, holder of the Souls of the dammned <takes deep breath> What the Fvck is That pit about???


Satan Responded


"That, oh dont worry about that, you dont have to go in there"

Dave asked

"So who are all those people in there then?"

And the dark lord responded
















"Oh yeah, them. they're Religious fundamentalists, they Demanded it"


:D

The Bollox

Mahatma coat wrote: »

a lad dies, ends up in hell

so he arrives at the gate and is greeted by a pretty youn girl with a clipboard, she says, 'hello Dave, we've been expectin ya, your in suite 95677653ddf43C, heres yer key, bsrs over there, dinners from 7 til 11, we can have coke n hookers sent to yer room at any time. enjoy your stay in HELL.'

so dave is a bit confused about all this, he thinks to himself this must be some kind joke, he's really gone to heaven after all and settles in at the bar content with his eternity.

however after a few months it becomes quite clear tha he is in fact in hell from conversations he's havin at the bar, and the fact that the divvil himself is there runnin the bar.

so he decides to have a look around,
the place is pretty nice, large golfcourses, daily horseracin, 24 hour bars, coke n hookers are on tap, need a car theres ferraris outside, in general the mutts nuts of an establishment.

cept for one bit, just off to the left as tou look out the bar window is a pit, with a sign sayin CAUTION DO NOT ENTER, but sein as this Kat was already dead curiosity got the better of him.

so over he wanders, peers in over the Guardrail and


there before his eyes is Miltons seventh circle of hell, there a flaming lakes of sulphur, there are souls writhing in agony, there are demons with pitchforks doing <unmentionable here> things, all in all everything he was ever told hel was, and a lot more pain.

shaken and taken aback he staggers back to the Bar.

He orders and double whisky, and as satan pours the drink he wonders whats the f'n catch, so he ask him.

"Oh Lucifer, Princer of darkness, holder of the Souls of the dammned <takes deep breath> What the Fvck is That pit about???


Satan Responded


"That, oh dont worry about that, you dont have to go in there"

Dave asked

"So who are all those people in there then?"

And the dark lord responded
















"Oh yeah, them. they're Religious fundamentalists, they Demanded it"


:D

:D:D that I like!

rocky25

Class Mahatma Coat pure class M8ty

kmart6

Great one's Rocky!