Sick

needhelpguy

Is anyone ever just sick of life? It's all bull**** really. Everything you are brought up to believe as a child is a lie. Life really goes downhill consistantly after you become a young adult. After you leave college you're pretty much trapped in the claws of the working world. You lack social structure and for me, direction, meaning.

The fact that I only seem to be attracted to other boys doesnt help. The fact I am completely a pushover with no confidence is a downer aswell. Being trapped in a job I hate because I don't know what else to do sucks aswell. Having no friends you actually enjoy being around is also a mood killer. I am going nowhere fast. Time is ticking. Every second is one I will never get back.

It's all bull****.

6th

Well everything you've mentioned in that post are things you can change. If you choose not to do anything and just complain well then I have news for you ....... welcome to the life you make for yourself!

tbh

needhelpguy wrote: »

Is anyone ever just sick of life? It's all bull**** really. Everything you are brought up to believe as a child is a lie. Life really goes downhill consistantly after you become a young adult. After you leave college you're pretty much trapped in the claws of the working world. You lack social structure and for me, direction, meaning.

The fact that I only seem to be attracted to other boys doesnt help. The fact I am completely a pushover with no confidence is a downer aswell. Being trapped in a job I hate because I don't know what else to do sucks aswell. Having no friends you actually enjoy being around is also a mood killer. I am going nowhere fast. Time is ticking. Every second is one I will never get back.

It's all bull****.

ha. Once you get laid, you'll be grand. I'm not saying that to be flippant, I'm saying that once one thing goes right for you in your life, you'll feel much better about things.

all the stars

needhelpguy wrote: »

It's all bull****.

i've been there sir,
If its not working, take steps to change things and make them work. Im doing it at the moment. Its not easy but i refuse to settle for less than i want outta life.
Start to change things, work towards what you actually want and if you want it - it will work.

Be positive. Realise you are alive, healthy, young enough to do lots of things and your frame of mind will change.

gixerfixer

Welcome to your life bud:)

Nevyn

gixerfixer
Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

RossFixxxed

I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but NONE of us here can help, we can OFFER to help though. You gotta make moves, go to your GP, go to a councelling service, talk to me even, but YOU have to do it.

And you can, you have to stop the 'comfort in being sad' (sorry for a nirvana quote) and decide to change. God knows I understand how difficult this is, but it CAN be done.

Some times you need a kick in the face to wake up.

R

Trinity

6th wrote: »

Well everything you've mentioned in that post are things you can change. If you choose not to do anything and just complain well then I have news for you ....... welcome to the life you make for yourself!

+1

Life is what you make it OP you have to take steps to make it a happy one.

Write a list of what it is you need to do to achieve it and set realistic goals.

Take one thing at a time and cross it off your list when you have done it.

Your local job centre may be able to help you (cant remember the name of it) but they interview you and give you a questionnaire to see what job might suit you.

You can make friends via the net, clubs, hobby.

Captain Ginger

Hey man, I have been where you are now, and let me tell you, I came out of it when I least expected it.

Go with the flow of life, jump at the chances you get, be it meeting guys, going to a bar and just chattin to strangers or deciding one night to try cooking a nice meal. There are good things in life but not all of us get them handed to us, you just got to squeeze it by the bollox.

Best of luck to you friend.

LifeISforLivin

NeedHelpGuy -you sound like you could be depressed, the things you are talking about are real problems but they can be solved.

Sometimes though, when/if you are depressed everything seems impossible and unsolvable, if you get feelings like "there is no real point to anything" and also immense indifference to everything, those are red flags...

Dont ignore them, read up on depression on the internet and see if the descriptions fit you, Ive been depressed before and it was really crippling, I couldnt do anything to help myself no matter how hard I tried, but I kept trying and trying and in the end, things worked out better, not perfect but a whole lot better.

I no longer open my eyes in the morning without wanting to just immediately shut them again and thats a good feeling....

Anyway, read a little about it on the web, thats a start, if you are depressed try to take baby steps rather than overwhelm yourself with too much, as you get better the exhaustion, despair and paralysis will lessen...

But the other posters are right, its a cliche but its true, it begins with you...

Best of luck

Peewee_lane

Ok dude, can I make some suggestions?

Buy a camera ( even a cheapy digital one from Argos) capture those seconds you'll never get back.

Walk into town some evening and chat to a barman in a gay bar, go look up events or join a gay society and get out and about with other lads.

Man, we all hate our jobs, I get annoyed that we have to work till 5.30 and have feck all time after traffic for the ppl we love the most. The thing is, life is what you make it. I made mine, I paint the picture.

Get out and about. Get a blank piece of paper and write out what you gotta do in this life.... oh and a big P.S - watch the Bucket list!!!!!!!

berengar

needhelpguy wrote: »

Is anyone ever just sick of life? It's all bull**** really. Everything you are brought up to believe as a child is a lie. Life really goes downhill consistantly after you become a young adult. After you leave college you're pretty much trapped in the claws of the working world. You lack social structure and for me, direction, meaning.

The fact that I only seem to be attracted to other boys doesnt help. The fact I am completely a pushover with no confidence is a downer aswell. Being trapped in a job I hate because I don't know what else to do sucks aswell. Having no friends you actually enjoy being around is also a mood killer. I am going nowhere fast. Time is ticking. Every second is one I will never get back.

It's all bull****.

Important thing is I think to get hobbies ... it's amazing how better life is with them , since i started with tennis and photography its been great ..

needhelpguy

Thanks for the replies. I do have hobbies, one great one in particular that I am active with 2 to 7 days a week. Maybe I need more....

Also, I will absolutely never admit to being "gay" "bisexual", or whatever. It simply wont happen. I know that may come with some undesirable consequences but I will just have to deal with them. Also I am never going to go to gay societies or gay bars or any of that.

I do not believe I am depressed.

Whoever suggested making a list of what I actually want out of life and ticking them off is right. I will do this. It may help to get my head around things.

LifeISforLivin

needhelpguy wrote: »

Also, I will absolutely never admit to being "gay" "bisexual", or whatever. It simply wont happen. I know that may come with some undesirable consequences but I will just have to deal with them. Also I am never going to go to gay societies or gay bars or any of that..

That is your decision and Im sure you have reasons, a word to the wise however, people will probably already know due to your lack of interest in women. Even if you believe you are "straight acting" and you obviously cant go down the road of duping a woman into being your cover so its not gonna be a secret very long.

Captain Ginger

I don't know if hiding something like the fact you're gay is going to do you any good emotionaly. Do you really want to be ducking and diving and missing out on love over not coming out?

tbh

needhelpguy wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I do have hobbies, one great one in particular that I am active with 2 to 7 days a week. Maybe I need more....

Also, I will absolutely never admit to being "gay" "bisexual", or whatever. It simply wont happen. I know that may come with some undesirable consequences but I will just have to deal with them. Also I am never going to go to gay societies or gay bars or any of that.

I do not believe I am depressed.

Whoever suggested making a list of what I actually want out of life and ticking them off is right. I will do this. It may help to get my head around things.

so are you just not going to have sex, or just have sex with women?

needhelpguy

Captain Ginger wrote: »

I don't know if hiding something like the fact you're gay is going to do you any good emotionaly. Do you really want to be ducking and diving and missing out on love over not coming out?

I understand that there are consequences to the decicion - feelings that I cannot control etc. I will just have to learn ways to deal with these. Why is "love" important?

so are you just not going to have sex, or just have sex with women?

Girls dont seem too keen on me either, I do find some attractive sometimes, but very rarely. So to answer your question, I just won't be having sex. Sure why is sex even important? I've done without up to now.

RossFixxxed

needhelpguy wrote: »

I understand that there are consequences to the decicion - feelings that I cannot control etc. I will just have to learn ways to deal with these. Why is "love" important?



Girls dont seem too keen on me either, I do find some attractive sometimes, but very rarely. So to answer your question, I just won't be having sex. Sure why is sex even important? I've done without up to now.

That's the spirit, why bother breathing while you're at it.

Because these things ARE necessary, not all the time, not in some addictive way, but nothing like love and intimacy to help you and make you feel great.

For the love of god you just keep throwing negative answers back at everyone. I'm not looking to fight, I'll probably get this post deleted but from someone who knows this through experience YOU NEED TO COP ON. Soon.

Otherwise you can continue to wallow in your little narcissistic hole where nothing can ever be fixed. This is depression by the look of it and you need to get the hell out of the chair, get off the Internet and FIX THIS. For your sake. I could care less, but I know what it's like and this message is to encourage you to do something. Love, family, friends, and everything else are so so important.

If you've ever seen Into The Wild (or read the book, or just the story) he fled and finally realised 'Happiness only real when shared'. You need people around you and you need a kick in the arse to get moving.

There's lots of great people on this board you really should listen to them. Or PM me, you can fight all you want.

Ross

LifeISforLivin

Have to say Ross is speaking sense there, Im a bit confused too OP....

You've called yourself "NeedHelpGuy" but you dont seem to have any interest in fixing any of the problems you have, some of which if you dont mind me saying seem to be self created or at least self perpetuating....

As I said I dont know your full circumstances so I am only going on what you have said.....

But the help and advice people have offered you here you have really more or less just rebuffed....you've said things seem pointless and miserable as they are but you dont seem intersted in changing them, ie you dont want to do the work involved in finding "love" and you dont plan to aknowledge your sexuality etc......

So what I am asking is....what is the point of posting if you have no interest in changing anything or considering any of the advice....

If you dont want to do any of the work involved in making things better, it seems like positng here is more looking for people to join the pity party, Im not trying to be harsh, just I do notice a lot of people abandoned the thread, and I will advise you that in general people find nothing more boring than someone who moans about problems but wont do anything to fix them....

Now maybe I am wildly jumping to conclusions, and its not that you wont fix the problems but maybe that you cant due to circumstances you have not shared.....you know I understand thats also possible....might be an idea to colour it in more for us....as I think people are finding it difficult to understand...

On the other hand if its just that you've built the walls of your own prision with attitudes like "Also, I will absolutely never admit to being "gay" "bisexual", or whatever. It simply wont happen" and "I do not believe I am depressed" well then...really there is not much left to say Im afraid....

RealEstateKing

Also, I will absolutely never admit to being "gay" "bisexual", or whatever. It simply wont happen. I know that may come with some undesirable consequences but I will just have to deal with them. Also I am never going to go to gay societies or gay bars or any of that.

I do not believe I am depressed.

Well that's your problem right there. You need to do precisely the opposite: Admit to yourself and others that you are gay or bisexual and start to live as a gay/bisexual man: There is simply no other way you can even come close to being happy.

You are quite right that you are not depressed: Depression is when somebody feels sad for no reason: You are sad because you are a homosexual and are afraid to admit it. Painful thought that might be, your in a good position, because you know what your problem is and can do something about it.

Why is "love" important?

Because you are a human being, and without it you cannot be fully human. It is the primary component of all human happiness, end of story.

MistyCheese

OP, you may not be gay, you may just be looking at other men and wishing you could be more like them, becuase they're happy and you want to be happy to.

If I were you I wouldn't worry about labelling yourself as "gay" or "straight". Just try to make friends of both sexes. In time you will decide what you want. There's certainly no rush.

sunnyside

needhelpguy wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I do have hobbies, one great one in particular that I am active with 2 to 7 days a week. Maybe I need more....

Also I am never going to go to gay societies or gay bars or any of that.

I do not believe I am depressed.

Whoever suggested making a list of what I actually want out of life and ticking them off is right. I will do this. It may help to get my head around things.

As other people have said your problems are within your control. There are plenty of people with health problems, etc which are completely outside of their control.

Could you find a job that's related to the hobby you mentioned?

What's wrong with going to a gay bar? I've heard lots of straight people go to them as well because they like the atmosphere there. It honestly could change your life to meet a few like-minded people.

And who cares if people know your gay? Most people these days are so obsessed with themselves they are unlikely to care one way or another what your doing.