I think I have a drinking problem as well as everything else.

Damzilla

Right. This is the first time I have admitted this out loud but I think (know) that I have a drink problem. It's one of the reasons my relationship broke up.

I've been unhappy for a number of years now and have turned to drink. I mostly drink a bottle of wine a night. Its wine that is my demon. I'm ok if I drink beer or spirits. I don't crave them and can take them or leave them but with wine it's different. I can't open a bottle and not finish it. I got really drunk on wine yesterday and phoned my ex twice. He knew I had been drinking although I denied it. I feel so crap about it today.

He doesnt think I am an alcoholic yet but that I am on the way to becoming one. I have never really tried to cut down before. I know that I have to. I definitely need to stop during the week as I am hungover most days going into work and then I feel even more depressed about my relationship break down.

I'm determined to get though the week without wine. I have to. I considered going to my GP about it but I don't really know what to say.

Anyone been through this before?

biko

If you must drink a bottle of wine per day I'd say that is indeed a problem.
Not keeping wine/alcohol in the house would be a start.

Next thing is to address the underlying issue, perhaps some sort of therapy or professional help?

Damzilla

Thing is. There is plenty of alcohol in the house. Spirits and red wine but they are not tempting me because I don't like red wine and I never drink spirits at home. The problem is white wine!

I know it is because I'm unhappy and have been for a long time. I just don't know what is making me unhappy. When I think back to a time when I was happy, drink wasn't a major factor in my life and I didn't think about it all the time. So I'm hoping that if I can get happy again, I will loose the urge to drink a bottle of wine every night.

I'm driving over to a friend tonight so will not be able to drink then and am planning on coming home and going to bed. One step at a time.

manic56

Damzilla wrote: »

Right. This is the first time I have admitted this out loud but I think (know) that I have a drink problem. It's one of the reasons my relationship broke up.

I've been unhappy for a number of years now and have turned to drink. I mostly drink a bottle of wine a night. Its wine that is my demon. I'm ok if I drink beer or spirits. I don't crave them and can take them or leave them but with wine it's different. I can't open a bottle and not finish it. I got really drunk on wine yesterday and phoned my ex twice. He knew I had been drinking although I denied it. I feel so crap about it today.

He doesnt think I am an alcoholic yet but that I am on the way to becoming one. I have never really tried to cut down before. I know that I have to. I definitely need to stop during the week as I am hungover most days going into work and then I feel even more depressed about my relationship break down.

I'm determined to get though the week without wine. I have to. I considered going to my GP about it but I don't really know what to say.

Anyone been through this before?

If you are drinking a bottle of wine a night then you are on the verge of becoming/have become an alcoholic.You should try to talk to a heath professional straight away.

jellie

I think you probably need to get some proper help. if you go to your GP im sure they would push you in the right direction. You seem to have so many things going on right now & it sounds like its all becoming too much for you to deal with on your own. & each problem probably makes the other worse & its all just building up.

you need to do something to help yourself or you wont get out of this.

LaVidaLoca

whichever way you slice it.

People use the word alcoholic in very absolute terms, as if it was something you either are or are not (like pregnancy).

Its a continuum, from the housewife who has one glass of wine too many, to the guy weeing his pants outside the train station.

If you're drinking a bottle of wine every night, you're well on the way to the right side of the continuum. Its a slow process, sort of like putting on weight: If you were eating 3 bars of chocolate every day and putting on .5 of a pound every week, and you asked "Am I overweight?". We'd say no, but if you keep putting on 0.5 of a pound every week, you will be eventually."

Give up totally for a month: write a letter to yourself about how you feel now, all your emotions, perceptions of yourself and the world. Give up for a month and write about how you feel then: If you're like me, you'll be amazed at how much of your problems/negativity are actually caused by drinking.

auditek923

maybe your depressed about something. see your local doctor or ring the samaratins before things get worse. we all go through a bad patch but there is always light at the end of the tunnel

Miss Fluff

Damzilla wrote: »

Thing is. There is plenty of alcohol in the house. Spirits and red wine but they are not tempting me because I don't like red wine and I never drink spirits at home. The problem is white wine!

It's all about breaking habits. Stop buying that bottle of white on your way home from work every evening or walk a different route to avoid temptation. Try and knock it on the head for a month and see you feel afterwards.

Damzilla

Thanks guys.

Well I gave myself a really stern talking to today. I don't want to be a person that has a bad relationship with alcohol and rely on it for the wrong reasons.

Tonight I was tempted to get a bottle of wine but I resisted and went for a walk instead. I know I don't need it so I'm going to cut it out for a month and see how I go. I think I'm making it harder in my head to do then it actually is. I have been fine without alcohol and didn't need it for years so there is no reason why I cannot be like that again.

Damzilla

Feel much more positive now. As the night has gone on I'm thinking "actually I don't want a drink". I don't feel the need to drown everything out by drinking a bottle of wine. Am looking forward to a drink free sleep and no hangover tomorrow and no regrets.

DenMan

Damzilla wrote: »

Feel much more positive now. As the night has gone on I'm thinking "actually I don't want a drink". I don't feel the need to drown everything out by drinking a bottle of wine. Am looking forward to a drink free sleep and no hangover tomorrow and no regrets.

That's the spirit. Well done on your brilliant achievement. Just have to take it one step at a time. Well done.

July

DenMan wrote: »

That's the spirit.

:D Poor choice of words given the topic!

OP, fair play to you and best of luck staying away from the drink. It'll definitely help your head.

Mahatma coat

I dont think that drinkin is yer issue, I reckon its lack of social interaction.

try goin to the pub and havin a few glasses/spritzers and chattin to people, this change of mindset may help to stave offf the rot.

tbh

Damzilla wrote: »

Thanks guys.

Well I gave myself a really stern talking to today. I don't want to be a person that has a bad relationship with alcohol and rely on it for the wrong reasons.

Tonight I was tempted to get a bottle of wine but I resisted and went for a walk instead. I know I don't need it so I'm going to cut it out for a month and see how I go. I think I'm making it harder in my head to do then it actually is. I have been fine without alcohol and didn't need it for years so there is no reason why I cannot be like that again.

well done. Go to your doctor tho. Don't worry, all you have to say is "I think I may have a drinking problem" - your doctor is trained to drive the conversation from there, and she/he knows way more about this type of thing than you do. It'd be silly not to take advantage of that, right?

well done again. Big step.

monroe

You've been given some great advice here...I found myself after a breakup doing something similar and was terrified about where it was leading...

My advice: its about kicking a very bad habit. believe me, go a couple of weeks off the booze and you'll feel/look so much better that you'll wonder how you fell into that trap in the first place..

Go walking, surf the net, meet friends, go to the cinema, take long evening baths with lavender oil (this last one I say because my problem started around not being able to sleep, and lavender oil knocks you out!), keep yourself busy....honestly, two weeks without a headache, with improved energy, no guilty feelings, no stupid regrets about phoning exs, with your skin looking better...........you won't know yourself

If you cant stay off it....you have a serious problem, but one that there are lot of avenues of help open to you..

Stay strong

Damzilla

Thanks everyone.

Had a bad nights sleep last night and loads of horrible dreams about the ex. I feel ok today though and am so glad I don't have a hangover. Long may it continue!

Trinity

Damzilla wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

Had a bad nights sleep last night and loads of horrible dreams about the ex. I feel ok today though and am so glad I don't have a hangover. Long may it continue!

It will be like that for a few days, your body is used to the drink. I drank every night for a long time too, I thought it was helping but it spiralled me into a deeper depression and because i was so shaky everyday it started to feel normal. I felt i couldnt cope without a drink but the truth was i wasnt coping with what i needed to cope with because of the drink.

Stopping drinking at home is a great way to start, for me that was 6 nights drink free already!!

Take it one day at a time. A month is a great goal but can seem like a mountain if you start to crave one. So every morning give yourself a pat on the back and say thats one more day over and at the end of the week with the money you have saved treat yourself to something nice like a facial or massage or new make up!!

If you are depressed though, there is no harm getting a bit of help so why not talk to your GP about a referral. Dont let them pawn medication on you if you dont want it.

monroe

Agree with the above.........

The sleep thing can be really bad for a while... you might try some Valerian drops or Valerian Tea......can really aid sleep....

Damzilla

Trinity1 wrote: »

It will be like that for a few days, your body is used to the drink. I drank every night for a long time too, I thought it was helping but it spiralled me into a deeper depression and because i was so shaky everyday it started to feel normal. I felt i couldnt cope without a drink but the truth was i wasnt coping with what i needed to cope with because of the drink.

That is exactly how I feel and I actually feel a bit calmer about things today and I'm sure it is because I don't have a hangover. That horrible depressed feeling and knot in my stomach is gone. I feel so much stronger then I have done. I know the sleep will come and once I start naturally feeling tired in the evenings I will feel better. I knew the first few days were going to be tough but I know I will get there.

I'f I'm still struggling in a few weeks time I will go and see my GP but for now I feel ok about things.

AARRRGH

Hi Damzilla

Have a read of this forum: http://wqd.netwarriors.org/forum.php

It's very interesting.

Good luck.

Trinity

Damzilla wrote: »

That is exactly how I feel and I actually feel a bit calmer about things today and I'm sure it is because I don't have a hangover. That horrible depressed feeling and knot in my stomach is gone. I feel so much stronger then I have done. I know the sleep will come and once I start naturally feeling tired in the evenings I will feel better. I knew the first few days were going to be tough but I know I will get there.

I'f I'm still struggling in a few weeks time I will go and see my GP but for now I feel ok about things.

Thats great you should be really proud of yourself. Others things will start to fall into place soon too.

LaVidaLoca

the first 72 hours are the hardest bit. Its easy enough after that.

Have a look at Allen Carr's "Easyway to control alcohol" if you fancy a bit of a read. It's not full of dreary Alcoholics Anonymous-type stuff - just helps you realise that life without booze is actually better than it is with it.

Nearly 8 months for me and loving it. Increased confidence, glowing skin, regained interests in loads of things I'd lost interest in, positive attitude to life, reconnected with friends, taken up sports, it's a fantastic journey, and once you've gotten over the initial few days of crappy sleep etc, it's easy! I never have a hangover, and when I come up with a crazy scheme/mad idea, I actually follow through with it - no more pub talk about all the stuff Im gonna do one day.

In a couple of weeks you too can be a smug bastard like me, watching the Zombies crawling home from dublin pubs with that empty look in their eyes.