Another toilet question

dougee19

in these discussions on going ons in the lavatory(where i learned girls REALLY dont like guys watching them pee) i also found out i wipe my bum more times than my friends, i was confused to this.. they only wipe their bum twice after pooing.... whats up with that??

another poll

Slidey

It simple really, keepin wiping til the sheet comes back in a way you can put i back for the next guy to use...
cue Flutter anytime soon

source

I tend to keep going till the paper comes back the same colour as it went in.

AlmightyCushion

I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.

marco_polo

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.

Dettol and a wire brush would save you alot of time :pac:

flanum

Whats this metro thing about wiping?? pffft your all ghey!

posted via wishful thinking

Run_to_da_hills

Mick Jaggers toilet

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/791/zeamericans4sk.jpg

silvine

Sometimes I even use a blast from the shower head to get rid of those stubborn clumps.

toiletduck

Wipe with your hand for a thorough clean.

Homer

Badgers Arse FTW...

elmolesto

silvine wrote: »

Sometimes I even use a blast from the shower head to get rid of those stubborn clumps.

Man, you are disgusting

Steve_o

industria wrote: »

Badgers Arse FTW...

Ha!!:D

OP, until it comes back the same colour as it was start!

JangoFett

I said 6+ cuz the rule is...stay wiping till you're ****ing clean!!

Mahatma coat

ah, but, if it came back clean on the first wipe, would you still rewipe?

The Bollox

once up, once down and once to polish

JangoFett

Mahatma coat wrote: »

ah, but, if it came back clean on the first wipe, would you still rewipe?

Clean on the first means you're clean. What me and my friends call a "German Sh!t" Efficient.

AlmightyCushion

JangoFett wrote: »

Clean on the first means you're clean. What me and my friends call a "German Sh!t" Efficient.

I call it a teflon shít. Slips right through and leaves nothing on the pan.

briantwin

Brillo pads, small wind proof lighter and some Ether alcohol.....
Clean as a whistle!

danniemcq

depends what i've been drinking, loada shots and stuff hardly need to wipe as it pretty much runs out like a waterfall but Guinness after a week of not drinking guinness, pass the powerhose

Kold

Due to my godawful diet and persistant drinking, it tends to be in the double digits, sometimes you think you're all cleaned up when you feel another shell loaded, that sh*t's frustrating.

sdanseo

A mod needs to declare a ban (with breaches punishable by egging) on poo-related topics or indeed anything excretion-related.

FFS like, thats about the tenth in a couple of months. Is there nothing else to poke fun at? (Other than me, my MA, my family etc)

Kold

Where do poo threads belong so? I mean everyone does it so why can't we talk about it?

BrowneusMaximus

The real question is do you wipe from the front or from the back ????

BurnsCarpenter

I've heard unconfirmed reports that some people wipe standing up! :eek:

Sherifu

Front of the hand, back of the hand and done.

Jigsaw

The number of sheets required depends mainly upon whether or not you get a good cut, and also your diet in the run up to the sh1t in question.

If you pull your cheeks apart good and wide for plenty clearance and have a slow but steady faecal expulsion there should be no collateral damage, nor indeed any splashback.

Bad cut + bad diet means = a very messy sh1te indeed expect to wipe until you're sweating.

Either way, I always keep wiping until my arse looks Gerry Adams eating a tomato.

Holsten

I wipe untill I'm clean, simple.

Degsy

Whats the technical term for when you think you've finished and you're hoiking your breeks up only for another inch or two of muck to make its way out of your arse,causing you to start all over again??

The Artist

when finnished cleaning ye bottom and you feel its not clean enough,rushing to go out and you havent time wipe again use a tampoon.
soaks up all the problems:cool:

Slidey

Jigsaw wrote: »

Either way, I always keep wiping until my arse looks Gerry Adams eating a tomato.

Jaysus that got me LOL...after a bad bad day in work!

KTRIC

BurnsCarpenter wrote: »

I've heard unconfirmed reports that some people wipe standing up! :eek:

Hmmm, you don't ??

FlutterinBantam

I should caution people on the following points.

females should always wipe ..erm away from the flange.

Be carefull or over cleaning,can cause anal irritation and if you have a good bunch of arsegrapes can lead to ,well ,messy problems.

I knew a lad once who was packing a lot of "farmers" and overwiped,fcukers burst and he tells me it was most embarrassing, as he was on a date and hoped to well, push some pork, but that put an end to proceedings.

female was "anxious for bone" later on but there was no way he could lower his kex as they were, as he says himself ,like a butchers apron.

dab or barbecue lighting fluid on a tissue softens up the winnits if in trouble.

Kold

Wait, what have farmers got to do with hemmoroids?

FlutterinBantam

Farmers???

Farmer Giles... Chalfonts... Chalfont St Giles...Piles

Trojan911

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I keep going till the paper comes back red, it's the only way you know you've cleaned it thoroughly.

Just fell off the chair laughing......

Lirange

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz_A6K9rSko

BurnsCarpenter

KTRIC wrote: »

Hmmm, you don't ??

One of them! :eek:

Degsy

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Farmers???

Farmer Giles... Chalfonts... Chalfont St Giles...Piles

Also known as Emmas as in Emma Freuds..

They sell this toilet paper in Scotland that is like shiny paper.

You might think it wouldn't be up to much but it is actually really good.

I can't find any in Ireland though:( anyone else seen this stuff?