Question about wheather it is better to please "friends"

stells

Hi Guys,

Not sure if this is a PI feel free to move if not mods.

I am going away traveling ina few months and when I told a group of friends this the date of my leaving party was promptly hijacked and changed to one of their birthday celebrations. I have no wish to go on this particular individuals defination of a fun night out I have started to phase this fool out over the past year but still stuck with him, he has done some irritting things - only ever talks about himself and how terrible his life is bores everyone to death with this - brings absolute muppets along for a night this out caused me to nearly got me bared from my local- borrowed money never gave it back- slagged me off for my nunlike behaviour both to my face and behind my back - this individual is the least trustworthy person I have meet a number of years I tell him nothing after he dropped me in it with one or two othe friends with something I told him in confidence about their partners etc.

All in all a great mate

Now here is my quandry I used to live in another country lived there for 7/8 years and wondering would i be a complete so and so to gib off this alleged "friends" birthday party for a leaving do over there instead was there recently had a fab time seen a lot of my old crew and generaly had a giggle like I haven't had since I came back to Ireland.

The only problem is the rest of my mates here. The chap I have the problem with is more or less the ring leader and they being a bit sheep like /easy going tend to follow him. So just wondering is it fair to maybe have small seperate drinks with 2/3 people at a time here and then head off for a weekend I will enjoy insead of starting off my new adventure pissed off with another night that this guy has ruined.

All thoughts welcome. Sorry bout the long post. BTW

Cheers

SexySoundGirl

Well I am in a very similar situation....An ex friend of mine has become a "neo nazi" and is also always waffling on about how horrible her life is and how much she wished she could die.(attention seeking her life is great,loads of friends loving family etc) and i just lost both my parents so her moaning was getting on my tits so.....
I phased her out by which she began to turn friends against me.


I think you should totally get this guy outta your life and seperate yourself from him completely. Only be around people you like there is no need for you to pollute your aura with his bull**** an amateur dramatics you defo sound lke a person who has their head on their shoulders.You go out and ahave a GOOD time, organize a night before he does with 3 or 4 good mates.Make sure they ahve fun and soon the others will follow.
Its time you became the new leader,when they realise you can go out and have a good time withouy any crap you will be twice as popular as him.

Good luck

Miss Fluff

Spend your last couple of months before going away with people you really care about and who care about you. Why subject yourself to an evening in the company of someone you despise? Don't bother, see your real mates seperately and organise a few nights out with them sans idiot.

SexySoundGirl

Miss Fluff wrote: »

sans idiot.

Sans idiot indeed!!!

LegacyUser

hey,when your young you feel you have to go along with the ring leaders ways to keep the peace,but as the years go by you find they are a waste of space and not worth your energy.... you might be able to make up some kind of excuse to have your party somewhere else because you have family and other friends coming,even if its in your house,or pretend your having drinks in yours before and just never leave and dont go to his party???

that happened me before,i organised a meal in a restaurant for my boyfriends birthday and his mum turned it into her going away party and invited her sisters and friends and his cousin invited all her friends,we were left sitting on the edge of the main table as if it wasnt his birthday,i had no idea any of them were coming!...

after a while we distanced ourselves from anyone who wasnt conscious and considerate as a friend,even if that ment family,it was amazing to see the crap relationships we were putting up with,we prefered to have just one or two decent friends for a while till we moved on and met more,it was better than having loads we were not reallly close with,its like that saying you can have loads of friends and still fell really lonely around them-id prefere to have one decent mate then 10 crap friends....

Carrigart Exile

stells wrote: »

Hi Guys,

Not sure if this is a PI feel free to move if not mods.

I am going away traveling ina few months and when I told a group of friends this the date of my leaving party was promptly hijacked and changed to one of their birthday celebrations. I have no wish to go on this particular individuals defination of a fun night out I have started to phase this fool out over the past year but still stuck with him, he has done some irritting things - only ever talks about himself and how terrible his life is bores everyone to death with this - brings absolute muppets along for a night this out caused me to nearly got me bared from my local- borrowed money never gave it back- slagged me off for my nunlike behaviour both to my face and behind my back - this individual is the least trustworthy person I have meet a number of years I tell him nothing after he dropped me in it with one or two othe friends with something I told him in confidence about their partners etc.

All in all a great mate

Now here is my quandry I used to live in another country lived there for 7/8 years and wondering would i be a complete so and so to gib off this alleged "friends" birthday party for a leaving do over there instead was there recently had a fab time seen a lot of my old crew and generaly had a giggle like I haven't had since I came back to Ireland.

The only problem is the rest of my mates here. The chap I have the problem with is more or less the ring leader and they being a bit sheep like /easy going tend to follow him. So just wondering is it fair to maybe have small seperate drinks with 2/3 people at a time here and then head off for a weekend I will enjoy insead of starting off my new adventure pissed off with another night that this guy has ruined.

All thoughts welcome. Sorry bout the long post. BTW

Cheers

cough, cough, cough, that's a terrible cough you have and you are looking decidedly peaky. I would suggest by the time this 'birthday party' comes around you will be unwell and not able to make it, maybe once you recover you will catch up with a few mates.:D

stells

Hi guys,

Cheers for the replys think I will just ignore the fool god bless mobiles at least I can screen calls his email is already blocked and dosent have work contact details so hopefully I shall not have to see him. Ment to be doing something with him this week but as a previous poster said "cough cough" feel a bad old cold coming on there.

I think at this stage the rest of my friends understand how feel about him so I think they will understand its just him hes a complete drama queen but sounds terrible hey in a few months will no longer be my problem your right I dont need a few months of my head being wrecked when i'm trying to work every hour thats sent to save and that.

Cheer for the replys good to know that others agree and dont think i'm just being a so and so

Big_Mac

stells wrote: »

Cheer for the replys good to know that others agree and dont think i'm just being a so and so

Indeed you are not being a so and so. Its your life, and as you only get one shot at it, don't waste it no loosers. Do with it what you choose, and nevermind anyone else

LegacyUser

yeah if you see it like you are allowing him to manipulate you -you might think about handling it differently,bullys know that they can get away with it so they push it as much as they can,he is not a true friend then

do what ever you have to just to get your way-be selfish and allow yourself to be its your party! who wants to listen to him be the centre of attention all night-your being a better friend teaching him that he annoys people