Bad Judge of Character!

SexySoundGirl

When I make friends with someone they turn out to be either an arsehole or psycho.In my history of "best friends",there has been a stalker, a pathalogical liar who tried to steal my life once I let her into it,a 21 year old guy who got a 15 year old girl pregnant and a neo nazi who had me beaten after she called friend a Nword pie and i called her out on it(she wasn't a neo nazi when i first got to know her).And various other attention seekers.I wonder why the hell I can't see these people for what they are straight off.

They always end up launching personal vendetta's against me with lies rumours etc and i end up with no friends in the end. I want a group of mature friends who like to go out for a few drinks listen to music play darts and go on spontaneous outings.NO DRAMA INVOLVED, no bull**** 15 year old "he said,she said" crap or crying in the toilet over you best friend looking at your bf etc.

Were can I find these kind of people and how can I tell if someone is a total idiot before I build a friendship with em.

Wibbs

No you're not a "bitch". you could just be a bad judge of your own character and home in on those that reinforce what you already think about how you should be treated. If you expect something, that is what life has a tendency to throw at you, or at least what you see being thrown at you.

With utmost respect and kudos to the Jewish lad from Galilee, it's not so much "treat others as you would treat yourself", it's more along the lines of "Treat others as you should treat yourself".

It begins and ends with ourselves. We are the only ones who can change the only person we can change and that's us. Work on you and the rest tends to fall into place. Working on oneself is a lifetime project and it takes a few years to get to a point where the balance sheet is going your way.

It's the process of that which is the rewarding thing, not any endpoint. They say travel broadens the mind, well self travel broadens the soul/psyche and is very rewarding, for you and ultimately others you have dealings with.

It's a hard journey at times and you will get setbacks, but better to walk two steps on the right road than a mile on the wrong.

Just look on all the things that have hurt and upset you as points on that journey that if you're open to it you will learn from. You will learn about what it is to be you and hopefully you will learn to believe you will get there.

Idea one; Take nothing personally. Anything anyone says or does to you is their projection of their own view of the path they're on and only affects you if you believe it to be true. If I said to you "SexySoundGirl you're a daft hedgehog", you wouldn't be upset. Why? Because it has no impact as it's nonsense. Yet if I say "SexySoundGirl you're a bitch", you would be more upset as a part of you feels you are. I don't know you. You don't know me, so why does one statement have the potential to cause you upset? The fact is both statements are false from my point of view as I don't know you, so why believe one and not the other?

Idea two; Be the best SexySoundGirl you can be. Even of you stumble fro time to time, pick yourself up and get back in the game and process of being the best you you can be.

Idea three; Todays worry about yesterday will be forgotten in tomorrows to come. I know there were events in my past that made me cringe and worry at the time, that matter little to me now beyond what I learned from them or even that I have no memory of today.

Gawd I realise all of that stuff sounds soooo cheesy, but theres some truth among the cheese.

SexySoundGirl

Processes, removes cheese,thanks for advice

LegacyUser

yeah its hard to see sometimes that you have something to do with the people you are attracting around you,there is a saying that you teach people how to treat you... im not saying i am perfect or preaching-only i do feel i could stand up for myself more and ask for better out of life.... the secret and the law of attraction says that if you want to attract the perfect something you have to be greatful for what you already have and clearly state the things you really want in a person,there is a reason you are attracting negative people something about these people make you feel comfortable around them,if you want better friends,affirm for yourself all my friends are kind caring considerate and loving and i deserve good friends -and so on... you will then put that out there instead of psycho,and neo nazi... try it and see what happens??

RandolphEsq

Where did you meet these freaks?

Maybe you are just hanging out in the wrong places. It sounds like you met these people in colelge. If you're still in college then you're fine and will be able to make some new ones

Reganio 2

Just seen this in her visitor's messages posted at 3.07
"SexySoundGirl" or our friend jen.Took a massive overdose about two hours ago and passed away.Please do not post here.

I'm worried.
RIP if that's the case, hopefully though its some sick joke.

Wibbs

Apparently some sick joke. Idiots.

jptk

Reganio 2 wrote: »

Just seen this in her visitor's messages posted at 3.07
"SexySoundGirl" or our friend jen.Took a massive overdose about two hours ago and passed away.Please do not post here.

I'm worried.
RIP if that's the case, hopefully though its some sick joke.

Er what? If that is some sort of sick joke, no wonder she attracts the type of friends she posted about... Unless thats just some sort of joke too...