Today I feel....

Damzilla

....really ****ty. I think it's hit me. I can't stop crying. We have had so much contact this week because of the house. Trying to get it ready to sell and it's killing me. I'm really tired as well which I know is making me feel worse but I just feel so down and alone. I have friends and family I could go to but I feel like I'm boring everyone now because I keep going on about it.

I feel like my life is on hold and I wont be able to move on until the house is sold and that could take months. I cant move on while we are still in contact. It's too hard.

Sorry for this self pity post. I just feel so awful right now.

RedXIV

Well you can go on about it as long as you like here, and we won't complain (mainly coz it's unnecesary typing ).

I've a vague memory of the last thread but did you try getting involved in something else to take your mind off all this? it looks like a nice day outside, plenty of options there

DenMan

Sorry to hear about that. Moving house is a huge thing and maybe it has dragged on for far too long. Do something to take your mind off things, that's what I do. Maybe join the gym or better still go for a swim or even take up a new hobby like learning a musical instrument or start writing, whatever interests you. In no time at all you will be finally on your way. Hope it works out.

Den

Creachadóir

Hey there,

It's really hard to keep things together when you're tired. Have you gone to your doctor? Maybe he could give you something to keep you going for a while. I got something called Valerian Hops Complex at the health food shop when I found it difficult to sleep after a break-up and it did the trick for me.

I know people are very sympathetic for a while, but listening to how heartbroken someone is can get boring after a while I guess, unless you're going through something similar yourself.

The weekends are tough, it really hits home then, because most people hang out with their OH then. Try to get out, I know you say you don't want to move on, but you don't even need to think that way, get out and about with your friends. Go for long walks, go out to the pub (maybe don't drink if you're not able for it) but I can definitely say that a long night out will ensure that you actually go to sleep when you get to bed.

It's much tougher when you're in contact That must be horrible. Just try to stay positive I guess.

Do keep venting on here, there are plenty of people who are going/or went though something similar and want to help.

Damzilla

Thanks guys.

I have a friend coming over later and then am going to another friends for a chinese tonight. Feel like I'm intruding on others though.

This is actually the first time that I have really cried since it happened. Probably because of all the texts going back and forth over the last few days. He seems really confused and so am I. We haven't been making each other happy in a long time. I just keep thinking that if we could leave the past behind we could move on and be happy together again. I know in order for that to happen we would have to go for councelling but he doesn't want to do that. He can't see it working out. I don't know why I can. If he said tomorrow that he wanted to come back I would say no because I know nothing would change and it would happen again. I just can't help thinking that a few months down the line that it could work. I'm clinging on to hope and I know I shouldn't.:(

jellie

im feeling exactly the same today! like its all hitting me & all i can do is cry.

As Creachadóir said its probably partly because its the weekend & youve all this free time. Yesterday anyone i was talking to was like "thank God its the weekend" whereas i was like noooooo i dont think i can take the weekend. i should be relaxing & enjoying my free time but i cant.

& i know what you mean about feeling like youre boring friends & family. My mum found me crying today & asked me what was wrong. i was like how is it not completely obvious whats wrong! (didnt say that but thought it!) everyone has their own lives & it gets to the point where you dont wanna bother them & you just end up feeling alone.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me.

Is there any way you could get someone else to deal with the house stuff & just get out of contact? could a solicitor handle it or something? it might seem like a cold way of dealing it but the contact really wont do you any good. Sure ive been lying here all morning WISHING he would text me. now when i actually write that down it sounds ridiculous, but i just feel like i need him so badly. i cant imagine how i would feel if i was seeing him regularly

RedXIV

intruding on others is what friends are for, tis ok, i do it all the time

I don't know your relationship, i can't tell you whether it would work or not after councilling but i can tell you that unless both of you want it, its not going to happen. I'm sorry lass, i wish i had a better advice to make ya magically feel better but i'm not that good (yet).

When you go out with your friends, get wrapped up in their lives, try to forget all about your own. Completely distract yourself. Try to learn chinese to impress your waiter

Damzilla

sar84 wrote: »

im feeling exactly the same today! like its all hitting me & all i can do is cry.

As Creachadóir said its probably partly because its the weekend & youve all this free time. Yesterday anyone i was talking to was like "thank God its the weekend" whereas i was like noooooo i dont think i can take the weekend. i should be relaxing & enjoying my free time but i cant.

& i know what you mean about feeling like youre boring friends & family. My mum found me crying today & asked me what was wrong. i was like how is it not completely obvious whats wrong! (didnt say that but thought it!) everyone has their own lives & it gets to the point where you dont wanna bother them & you just end up feeling alone.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM me.

Is there any way you could get someone else to deal with the house stuff & just get out of contact? could a solicitor handle it or something? it might seem like a cold way of dealing it but the contact really wont do you any good. Sure ive been lying here all morning WISHING he would text me. now when i actually write that down it sounds ridiculous, but i just feel like i need him so badly. i cant imagine how i would feel if i was seeing him regularly

That is exactly how I feel. I was dreading the weekend because I knew I would have so much free time to think about things

The house isn't on the market yet. It needs some work before we put it up for sale so we have to be in contact for that. We don't want to go down the road of dealing with each other through solicitors. For one, it's too damn expensive and secondly, we do want to keep things as amicable as possible. We don't hate each other and we are both really sad that it didn't work out for us. That makes its harder. He is being so nice about things that I can't even hate him:(

Where I am going tonight has no signal so I won't be able to text him. I actually thing I will leave my phone at home just in case.

I just can't believe it's the end. Seven years and now nothing.

jellie

Damzilla wrote: »

I just can't believe it's the end. Seven years and now nothing.

i know how you feel. although i really cant compare two years to seven. but for the last 2 years hes been one of the most important people in my life, and now im just supposed to take him out of it just like that. if you asked me to say goodbye to my best friend i couldnt do it, but i have to somehow do it with him. all the way i had pictured my future has just disappeared.. i cant imagine my life without him in it. but realistically ill actually never see him again. we live so far apart that wed have to plan it & thats not going to happen. i just cant get my head around never seeing him again.

RedXIV

Damzilla wrote: »

I just can't believe it's the beginning. Seven years and now nothing holding me back.

Just a few corrections there

jellie

im just thinking im probably the worst person to be reading & replying to your thread, we'll only depress each other

Damzilla

RedXIV wrote: »

Just a few corrections there

Thanks. That made me smile!

RedXIV

Thats the plan! keep that up and nothing will hold ya back. It might be the old romantic soul encassed in this ridiculously unromantic body, but you go out with a smile on your face and you'll never look as good.


Bleh....i think i'm actually MADE of cheese

Damzilla

sar84 wrote: »

im just thinking im probably the worst person to be reading & replying to your thread, we'll only depress each other

I think it helps to know others are going through something similar. I just wish we could have a clean break and I never had to see or talk to him again. It makes it 10 times harder.

BJC

Damzilla wrote: »

I have a friend coming over later and then am going to another friends for a chinese tonight. Feel like I'm intruding on others though.

Friends are there to be intruded upon. True friendship takes the the bad along with the good, try and remember that, I'm sure they're more than happy to help.

Damzilla

My friends are great but I still feel so alone. I'm in a really bad place tonight and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm sitting here in the home that we made together knowing it is going to be sold in a few months and I will be alone. How do I get by that?

Clare Bear

Oh God my heart goes out to you so much I actually can't get you out of my head tonight. I just can't imagine what you're going through. Please surround yourself with good friends and family and things that make you happy. I hate to think you're so alone tonight. Hope you'll be ok x

jellie

Damzilla wrote: »

My friends are great but I still feel so alone. I'm in a really bad place tonight and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm sitting here in the home that we made together knowing it is going to be sold in a few months and I will be alone. How do I get by that?

have you nowhere else you can go? it cant be good for you to be living there. i hope youre alright

Damzilla

sar84 wrote: »

have you nowhere else you can go? it cant be good for you to be living there. i hope youre alright

Not really. I do want to stay in the house until it's sold but it just got me down last night.

I probably should have made the effort to go out to my friends last night but I just could not face it. I think I actually needed a night to sit and wallow because I haven't really done that. This weekend is the first weekend that I have really sat and cried. Its all hitting me now.

I feel a little bit better today and am going to spend the afternoon with a friend sorting out the garden so that should keep me busy.

Thanks for the replies and support guys.

Big_Mac

Damzilla wrote: »

Not really. I do want to stay in the house until it's sold but it just got me down last night.

I probably should have made the effort to go out to my friends last night but I just could not face it. I think I actually needed a night to sit and wallow because I haven't really done that. This weekend is the first weekend that I have really sat and cried. Its all hitting me now.

I feel a little bit better today and am going to spend the afternoon with a friend sorting out the garden so that should keep me busy.

Thanks for the replies and support guys.

OP, I know that this is really hard and really tough for you, but wallowing, although seems the easiest thing to do is not going to help you. You feel alone, and so you need to help yourself to get out of this. Cliche, but time is a great healer, although that isn't much consolation at the moment.

When you go to bed and get up and spend that few minute going here and there are time enough with your thoughts. The best thing I can possibly suggest is to go out with your mates or spend time with them. Gossip, bitch have a laugh, but most of all it will take your mind off things for a while. I've been through some ****ty times myself, and those few minutes spent gassing about other stuff are an invaluable relief.

Hope this helps