Unable to urinate in public

LegacyUser

Can anybody here who has had this problem tell me how they got over it?

I play a lot of sports and have no problem showering in public, or even stripping when I've too many pints in me, but for love nor money I cant take a leak if theres someone near by. This is a major annoyance and I want to sort it out.

Some googling revealed that its a problem called "paruresis", and for the past 3 months I've been trying cognitive behavioural steps I've found on the internet but its just not working.

Anybody overcome this? How?

I was thinking maybe hypnosis, has anybody here seen a hypnotist in Ireland for any problems/phobia's?

Crannog

Are you a bloke?

Go into cubicle to start, then work your way up to peeing in urinal away from others, then nearer. Try breathing exercises. We forget to breathe when stressed. Try playing running water in your head or visualising that you are in a situation that is comfortable for you to pee in.

What are you imagining will happen if there is someone near you when you pee? Really exaggerate your fear until you figure out what it is about. What happens when you play out your fear? Eg. Ask yourself "and then what?" questions.

Sorry if above is not that clear. Maybe get yourself to a CBT therapist if doing it by yourself is difficult. I have no experience with hypnosis - sorry.

Hope a little of above was somewhat useful. Good Luck

star-pants

Hi OP -- I'm kinda similar - if I think there's someone listening, or if it's really quiet in the bathrooms I can't go. IF someone talks to me I can't go.
But what I try and do is, if there's someone else in the toilets, wait til they start going because sometimes if they go, it sorta masks you going, if you get me. Or wait until they leave.

Also what someone else said - have water running maybe before you go into the cubicle. Or I find if I trace lightly on the palm of my hand it can make you calmer to go.
I've gotten better over time but still can be affected in certain situations.

not sure if that was helpful but I hope so

DenMan

Sometimes I have that problem too!! It always seems to happen in the bus station, for some reason it always is the Longford bus station. I have no problems anywhere else in the world. I commute a lot for work from Sligo to Dublin. For some reason I have problems going in there whenever the toilets are in use. Mind you it is a complete dump and needs a major overhaul.

Then again with bus/train stations you never know who is there beside you, a very unsettling atmosphere. Maybe try and feel a bit better before you go in and the temptation to hold it in will vanish and you will quickly be on your way in no time at all. Hope this helps.

Den

RedXIV

Ok don't laugh at me now, this is supposed to work very well. The idea of meditation is the complete relaxation of the body and with the simple exercises used of just breathing and thought control, you're supposed to reach inner calm and forget the rest of the world. I know someone it works for, might be for you, might not, but tis an option i'm throwing out to ya

Overheal

Its hard to acchieve for nirvana at a urinal Red! :rolleyes:

I dunno I've had that problem as long as I can remember. I just dont get othered by it anymore.

Creamy Goodness

star-pants wrote: »

Hi OP -- I'm kinda similar - if I think there's someone listening, or if it's really quiet in the bathrooms I can't go. IF someone talks to me I can't go.
But what I try and do is, if there's someone else in the toilets, wait til they start going because sometimes if they go, it sorta masks you going, if you get me. Or wait until they leave.

it's like you're me, only in girl form.

star-pants wrote:

Or I find if I trace lightly on the palm of my hand it can make you calmer to go.

a tad hard for guys at the cattle trough though

Doctor DooM

Cremo wrote: »

it's like you're me, only in girl form.



a tad hard for guys at the cattle trough though

I once heard this is instinct. I also find it hard, although not impossible.

Animals are at their some of their weakest points when they are peeing because their genitals are exposed.

I find I have to block out the fact that other people are there. I usually think of something else and it-er- comes.

Congrats on an original PI, by the way!

dolphinius

It happens to nearly all blokes, now and again. I just say, F* it, leave and try again later. Def feel a bit stupid and embarrassed for a few minutes. Happens when you think too much about it. So distraction is the key. Think about anything else. Shopping, TV, a joke you heard, anything.

LegacyUser

Was going to have an exact same topic - same problem strikes at urinals...Not so bad when they are seperate urinals but can't use the wall and get freaked if there is someone beside me - not good in crowded / busy places or on nights out Hoping to hear more solutions.....

GusherING

Yeah everyone gets stage-fright now and again. Just wait until you're bursting to go. That way you'll never have trouble!

txt_mess

I think if your having problems in a cubicle then it would be worth looking into. As for the old peeing in the trough have a hard time with that myself thats why I prefer cubicles and get freaked out by the man over my shoulder offering me aftershave and paper towels. Never really though stage fright was a problem more normal really !

lee_baby_simms

I've heard acupuncture is good for this.

milod

lee_baby_simms wrote: »

I've heard acupuncture is good for this.

Eh, where exactly?! :eek:

ryoishin

I find it hard to go in the urinal too, but i would nt call it a problem.

It just means queing for the cubical and pushing away chicks who come into the mens.

Porkpie

I had that problem before. I tried all that imagining waterfall stuff, meditation, etc, none of it worked for me. What did work, funnily enough was......Maths! Seriously! Next time you're getting ready to go, give yourself a moderately difficult calculation to do in your head. It can't bee too easy. Multiplication works best for me. Just take two numbers and try to multiply them in your head. If you get the answer, think of a new calculation immediately. I think it works by distraction. Worked for me anyway.

If that doesn't work, you could just wait till you're busting to go. Best of luck.

MajorMax

I used to suffer from this but I found that if you just relax and think of something else nature will take over

trevorku

You know most men have this problem, its simply because its not something you do on an extremely regular basis, guy standing in the urinal and can go because of nerves, nervous someone is watching him or than someone else is thinking that he is watching them, you know the nervous guys because they are looking dead straight ahead as they are nervous, theres no way to overcome it, just go into the cubicle as its less intimidating.

Daftendirekt

I have this problem on occasion, though it's a little better now. Seems pretty common! You just have to let yourself relax. Concentrate on breathing slowly and steadily, and forget about your surroundings. Try to avoid using the cubicles, otherwise you'll never get over it.

Some great advice by other posters too. Also, I didn't know it had a name - learn something new everyday

mikemac

Totally have this problem and in fact, I started a thread in this forum over a year ago.
Got good advice and a few pm's but I never did get it sorted.
The cattle trough can be over own personal hurdle anyway I suppose

LegacyUser

Hi there...

I've got a similar problem!

Basically, I just try and block out any and all thoughts apart from how much my bladder needs to be emptied.

The thing is, in a toilet, NOBODY is watching anything other than "themselves" or maybe the wall directly in front of the urinal, so don't worry about it and just concentrate!

I've heard that gently blowing onto your manhood works too. Good luck!