Liverpool and Everton Black Armband Jerseys

KevIRL

Apologies if this has been done...

http://www.the-gaffer.com/news/liverpool-everton-black-armband-shirt.html

LIVERPOOL AND Everton have unveiled their hi-tech new shirts for the upcoming season, which will each incorporate a permanent black armband.

At a star-studded launch, an Adidas spokesmen said the new kits had been designed to "reflect the city's proud tradition of disproportionately prolonged post-death moping," as Scouse luminaries Sir Paul McCartney, Stig Inge Bjørnebye, and Sinbad from Brookside listened in the audience.

Incorporating revolutionary Perma-Mourn™ technology, the groundbreaking black armbands ensure that players feel exactly the same level of sadness as the average Scouser does on a day-to-day basis.

Speaking at the launch. Everton’s Mikel Arteta said: "Finally I will know the true meaning of what it is to be a Scouser. I think it's great. Well it's not great, obviously, it's a very tragic time and our thoughts are with all of the parents, everywhere, forever."

The 'Cilla', as the black armband is affectionately known to Liverpudlian football fans, was hailed as a great innovation by the head of Liverpool's Union of Genial Humour. "Most importantly, it's what Maddie would have wanted," said the Union leader through his manly tears.

Another unique new feature was unveiled specifically for Steven Gerrard's kit, a specially-designed microchip implanted into the fabric of the shirt. Every time the midfielder is fouled, a tiny speaker will shout "Justice for the 96!" in the hope that referees will be guilt-tripped into awarding 30 per cent more penalties to the home side at Anfield.

If the new advancements are a success, manufacturers are planning to offer similar technology to the clubs when they build their new stadiums in the city. To transfer the unique atmosphere of the Kop to the new Anfield, Liverpool will fit every seat with a sepia-toned cushion so that fans looking out onto the pitch can remember what it was like when they ruled Europe.

Meanwhile Everton fans will be given cutting edge glasses with their tickets, which aim to replicate watching the Toffees in the Eighties by obliterating all non-Caucasian players from the wearer's field of vision.

Mr Alan

Reported.

I hope you get banned for that.

Malice

KevIRL wrote: »

Another unique new feature was unveiled specifically for Steven Gerrard's kit, a specially-designed microchip implanted into the fabric of the shirt. Every time the midfielder is fouled, a tiny speaker will shout "Justice for the 96!" in the hope that referees will be guilt-tripped into awarding 30 per cent more penalties to the home side at Anfield.

That Hillsborough reference is a bit close to the bone but the rest of it is quite funny!

IrishMike

At a star-studded launch, an Adidas spokesmen said the new kits had been designed to "reflect the city's proud tradition of disproportionately prolonged post-death moping," as Scouse luminaries Sir Paul McCartney, Stig Inge Bjørnebye, and Sinbad from Brookside listened in the audience.

Scouse luminary Sinbad
:D:D
Quality, dont take things so personally Alan
Plus there was no mention of Torres anywhere in it

CHD

lol nice one

Death or Glory

hahahahaha!!!!!

'Victimpool' indeed!

Killme00

Mr Alan wrote: »

Reported.

I hope you get banned for that.

Dont take everythign so seriously

very funny

Mr Alan

Apologies, but i take the death of 96 people, a young boy being murdered, and a young girl being abducted seriously.

I must be on my own.

Tusky

*chuckle*

leninbenjamin

haha, hilarious.

Death or Glory

Jaysus, it could have been worse, there was no mention of Ken Bigley.

Chill out ffs!

IrishMike

Mr Alan wrote: »

Apologies, but i take the death of 96 people, a young boy being murdered, and a young girl being abducted seriously.

I must be on my own.

We all do.
This thread is not a slight on them however, thats why im finding it funny.

Mr Alan

So if its not taking the piss out the events i mentioned, wats it taking the piss out of?

SantryRed

Brilliant:D

Karmafaerie

Yeah, how many MUNICH posts were allowed last year?!

Death or Glory

Scousers victim mentality

RE*AC*TOR

Whatever about whether it's in good taste or not, it's a fairly poor attempt at humour. Been done before, better.

Also Everton wear Umbro jerseys.

Mr Alan

I am not a scouser.

I dont find jokes about Munich funny either.

CHD

RE*AC*TOR wrote: »

.Also Everton wear Umbro jerseys.

now you made it not funny

DerekD Goldfish

Mr Alan wrote: »

So if its not taking the piss out the events i mentioned, wats it taking the piss out of?

You and your reaction
Im going to stay well clear of this thread last time I touched the H word with a barge pole on here I got banned.

Karmafaerie

Mr Alan wrote: »

I am not a scouser.

I dont find jokes about Munich funny either.

I was agreeing with you.

I'm imagining what would the Utd supporters say about MUNICH jokes last year?!

Every club and group of fans in the country respected their rememberance.
Is it too much to ask that they do the same for us?

Hillsborough is my earliest footballing memory.
And I don't find any poor attempt of humour about it entertaining.

Mr Alan

I know you were agreeing with me mate, i was responding to Death And Glory.

event

no one is joking about hillsborough, but more the reaction and attitude of some liverpool fans

Karmafaerie

I'm all for football jokes, and for the most part they're innocent enough.
But when you're talking about one of the worst and most publicised sporting disasters in memory.
One which the police admit to having covered up, and placing the blame on a group of fans who were not only innocent, but also helped to save so many lives.
And which effected every football club in the country, due to the strict laws and embargoes enforced as part of the cover-up.
Then it's not funny.

People have a right to honour and respect the dead, and shouldn't be ridiculed for doing so.

Parts of that were funny but the Maddie reference and the Hillsborough part are most certainly not funny lads. Seriously. Be bigger than that. Football rivalries should end at the football.

Karmafaerie

Karmafaerie wrote: »

I'm all for football jokes, and for the most part they're innocent enough.
But when you're talking about one of the worst and most publicised sporting disasters in memory.
One which the police admit to having covered up, and placing the blame on a group of fans who were not only innocent, but also helped to save so many lives.
And which effected every football club in the country, due to the strict laws and embargoes enforced as part of the cover-up.
Then it's not funny.

People have a right to honour and respect the dead, and shouldn't be ridiculed for doing so.

The circumstances, blame game and theroies are irrelevent. The fact that 96 people died should be enough to garner respect.

5starpool

I'm not exactly rolling in the aisles either.

event

event wrote: »

no one is joking about hillsborough, but more the reaction and attitude of some liverpool fans

I knwo what you;re saying but really its not something that should be brought into any kind of "humour" article. And Im a United fan.

fullstop

Mr Alan wrote: »

Reported.

I hope you get banned for that.

I hope YOU get banned.

Mr Alan

fullstop wrote: »

I hope YOU get banned.

Nice contribution :rolleyes:

IrishMike

Ok thats it, group hug!

Dub13

Locked.

These types of threads have no place in the Soccer forum,its like smoking in a barn with a Gas leak.